Money is always a touchy subject. People don't really talk about it. I'd like to think its because we don't want to risk hurting someone else's feelings or put them in an awkward position, because the fact of the matter is, you really don't ever know someone else's money situation, unless they offer to tell you. But I have questions and I need answers. So where to turn?
I have a few friends that are following Dave Ramsey's "Seven Baby Steps" and it seems to be working well for them. I've looked at the steps and considered following that route, but I always opt out because we've accomplished some of the steps but not others and I feel confused if we've done them out of order - I think part of his plan revolves around "the order" of the steps.
Step 1 - Save $1000 in an Emergency Fund - check
Step 2 - Pay off all your debt using the debt snowball - um, yea. Where do we start? The debt snowball says to start with your smallest debt first and then work your way up, but I just can't agree with this approach. My favored approach is to look at all the interest rates and start paying off the highest one first. Also, not all our debt is "bad debt" - i.e. law school loans. Although, we have enough of them, that I feel like they're BAD!
Step 3 - 3 to 6 months of living expenses - not exactly. We're working on month 2...
Step 4 - Invest 15% of household income into Roth IRAs and pre-tax retirement - check. Been doing this for 2 years now. Though we did empty Mr. Cob's IRA to help with the purchase of our home. But I've got a pretty good chunk in my 401K. But if I'm following "The Baby Steps" should we stop putting money into the IRA and 401K and instead use the money to pay off the debt or save for the living expense? I don't know. There's no *footnote* telling me what to do if my steps are out of whack.
Step 5 - College funding for children - no kids yet, so is this really necessary?
Step 6 - Pay off home early - R-I-G-H-T....lets work on those law school loans first.
Step 7 - Build Wealth and Give - this is the ultimate goal.
So, ok, this is a good blueprint and I keep it in the back of my mind - maybe we'll officially jump on board here soon. But here's my question, assuming we're not following the Baby Steps (or even when we are): What money should I use for what? For example, we have a family wedding to go to in April that will cost roughly $500 just to get to. Do we take this $500 out of our monthly expenses or take it out of our "savings account"? Or does it qualify for use of the "emergency fund money" [sidenote: it is really just semantics that we are talking about here since our emergency fund money is just the first $1000 in out savings account].
I'm really making a concerted effort to watch my/our spending in 2010. I vowed not to buy any clothes in January and I succeeded until Friday, January 29th - I just bought a $20 dress, so it's not that bad. Still, did I need the dress, no. I did feel pretty wearing it though! And both Mr. Cob and I are brining our lunch to work most days and cooking dinners at home = saves money on eating out, which is our biggest offender.
I do feel like I'm really hard on us, because we would be doing really well if we hadn't had to drop thousands of dollars on a new roof. But there are always going to be "life" expenses that get in the way of saving money and paying off debt - you just have to keep going. My goal is to be credit card free by June 1st, 2010. (We put the roof on our credit card...) And then I think we'll reevaluate.
I did make one big change this month - the day we got our paychecks I immediately put a huge chunk towards our credit card. I typically wait until the end of the month and just use whatever money is left in our checking account to pay our cc. This is not the most proactive approach. Let's just hope there's enough money left over at the end of the month for food. I'm not really in a Top Ramen sort of mood.
Did I mention that I was a finance major in college? I should have this money thing figured out. Don't judge.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Halfing it Again
Last week I started training for my 3rd half marathon. I find that I get in the best shape when I have a specific goal in mind - for example, my wedding, a vacation or a race. It's no secret that having a goal helps with motivation. And if I have a training program that I'm following, I'm pretty good about actually getting to the gym or lacing up my shoes and going for the run.
So why did I decide to surrender my pretty pedicures yet again? Well, my cousin lives in Eugene, Oregon and is going to school at the University of Oregon - Go Ducks! Over Christmas the fam was here visiting and we've all thrown around the idea of going to OR for a visit sometime and also all had been talking about getting in shape in the new year. So I had the bright idea of all training for a half marathon in Eugene in May - two birds, one stone - and to my surprise everyone was on board! My mom is going to walk the 13.1 and my S.I.L., my aunt and two cousins are going to run. I'm thinking tee-shirts of some sort will need to be made for the event - Starr Runners - or some other cutesy slogan. The race is May 2nd, so exactly 3 months from today.
I've followed relatively similar training programs for my past two halfs, but as the saying goes, if you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll keep getting what you've been getting. And the first half training left me with shin splints and the other left me with a quad strain. So I'm switching it up this time. I found a training program on Runners World.com and so far it's going pretty well. Here was my schedule last week:
Mon: 2 miles easy (12:00-12:30 min/mile pace) [I also did weight training]
Tues: 3 x 10 min medium, wtih 2-min walk breaks (10:20 to 11:05 min/mile pace)
Wed: 30 minute walk
Thurs: 5 min walk; 20 min hard; 5 min walk (9:40-10:00 min/mile pace) [I also swam for 25 minutes]
Friday: REST
Sat: 6 miles easy (12:00-12:30 min/mile pace) with 2 min walk breaks every 7 minutes
Sun: XT
Total miles: about 13
This week I'm doing the same schedule but my "long" run on Saturday will be 7 miles and I'm going to throw some yoga classes in. So here's to training! And if I feel up to it and confident that I am ready, I may do the Nashville half marathon again this year which is two weeks before the one in Eugene. But lets just say I'm not signing up for that quite yet!
So why did I decide to surrender my pretty pedicures yet again? Well, my cousin lives in Eugene, Oregon and is going to school at the University of Oregon - Go Ducks! Over Christmas the fam was here visiting and we've all thrown around the idea of going to OR for a visit sometime and also all had been talking about getting in shape in the new year. So I had the bright idea of all training for a half marathon in Eugene in May - two birds, one stone - and to my surprise everyone was on board! My mom is going to walk the 13.1 and my S.I.L., my aunt and two cousins are going to run. I'm thinking tee-shirts of some sort will need to be made for the event - Starr Runners - or some other cutesy slogan. The race is May 2nd, so exactly 3 months from today.
I've followed relatively similar training programs for my past two halfs, but as the saying goes, if you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll keep getting what you've been getting. And the first half training left me with shin splints and the other left me with a quad strain. So I'm switching it up this time. I found a training program on Runners World.com and so far it's going pretty well. Here was my schedule last week:
Mon: 2 miles easy (12:00-12:30 min/mile pace) [I also did weight training]
Tues: 3 x 10 min medium, wtih 2-min walk breaks (10:20 to 11:05 min/mile pace)
Wed: 30 minute walk
Thurs: 5 min walk; 20 min hard; 5 min walk (9:40-10:00 min/mile pace) [I also swam for 25 minutes]
Friday: REST
Sat: 6 miles easy (12:00-12:30 min/mile pace) with 2 min walk breaks every 7 minutes
Sun: XT
Total miles: about 13
This week I'm doing the same schedule but my "long" run on Saturday will be 7 miles and I'm going to throw some yoga classes in. So here's to training! And if I feel up to it and confident that I am ready, I may do the Nashville half marathon again this year which is two weeks before the one in Eugene. But lets just say I'm not signing up for that quite yet!
Monday, February 1, 2010
30 Books Update
Reading total: 4 books
Books to go: 26
Months before 30: 15
Library Fines: undetermined (probably around $10); however, they have not increased since my self-induced ban from the library is prohibiting me from checking any books out for a while
I figure its time to give an update on the 30 books challenge. Since we last checked in, I've finished another book and am about a quarter of the way through the next. Over the long NYE weekend I started and finished The Road by Cormac McCarthy. Everyone should read this book. It is highly disturbing yet very thought provoking. Without giving too much away, the setting of the story is in post-apocalyptic US and is about a father and son's journey in this changed world. The things they encounter and have to overcome are horrendous and sickening at times. Yet the themes of hope and love are present throughout the book despite the setting. This was one of those books where you didn't want to continue reading, but couldn't put it down. I often had to take a step away from the book, only to find myself coming back five minutes later. I'm impressed by any book that can cause you to feel such strong emotion.
Mr. Cob had read The Road a few months before me, so we talked about the book as I was reading it and again once I finished. It was interesting talking to him about the book because there were things that he put together that I didn't at all and other things that I noticed that he didn't pick up on. However, he did point out what might've been the most horrifying part of the book and part of me wishes he hadn't. Let's just say I probably wouldn't last too long in a world where you have to do whatever is necessary to stay alive. And here's to hoping I never have to. But I do enjoy talking about books with Mr. Cob. It helps to offer another perspective. Maybe my girlfriends' book club idea will actually have forward momentum sometime this year.
I'm currently reading The Count of Monte Cristo. It's wonderful. More on that later, but I will say that books are ALWAYS so much better than the movie.
Books to go: 26
Months before 30: 15
Library Fines: undetermined (probably around $10); however, they have not increased since my self-induced ban from the library is prohibiting me from checking any books out for a while
I figure its time to give an update on the 30 books challenge. Since we last checked in, I've finished another book and am about a quarter of the way through the next. Over the long NYE weekend I started and finished The Road by Cormac McCarthy. Everyone should read this book. It is highly disturbing yet very thought provoking. Without giving too much away, the setting of the story is in post-apocalyptic US and is about a father and son's journey in this changed world. The things they encounter and have to overcome are horrendous and sickening at times. Yet the themes of hope and love are present throughout the book despite the setting. This was one of those books where you didn't want to continue reading, but couldn't put it down. I often had to take a step away from the book, only to find myself coming back five minutes later. I'm impressed by any book that can cause you to feel such strong emotion.
Mr. Cob had read The Road a few months before me, so we talked about the book as I was reading it and again once I finished. It was interesting talking to him about the book because there were things that he put together that I didn't at all and other things that I noticed that he didn't pick up on. However, he did point out what might've been the most horrifying part of the book and part of me wishes he hadn't. Let's just say I probably wouldn't last too long in a world where you have to do whatever is necessary to stay alive. And here's to hoping I never have to. But I do enjoy talking about books with Mr. Cob. It helps to offer another perspective. Maybe my girlfriends' book club idea will actually have forward momentum sometime this year.
I'm currently reading The Count of Monte Cristo. It's wonderful. More on that later, but I will say that books are ALWAYS so much better than the movie.
Dinner Party Delight
I think its safe to say that I successfully threw my very first grown-up dinner party. It was a fabulous night with great friends, good food and good conversation. And I learned quite a few things in the process. But first, the details.
Total number of diners = 14 (including Mr. Cob and myself)
Total number of dining tables = 1. Yes, I was able to fit 14 people comfortably around my dining room table! My one piece of advice if you have intentions of entertaining and fitting lots of people around your table - buy a pedestal table - if you have a four legged table it is hard to sit people on the ends/corners, but with a pedestal table it's a breeze. It also helps that we have 2 leafs to extend our table.
Different chairs used = 4 (breakdown: 6 black dining chairs, 4 chairs from our breakfast nook table, 2 green chairs from my yard sale purchase last April and 2 red chairs that were Mr. Cobs before we got married).
I used my new tablecloth that Mama Kae gave me for Christmas - it fit perfectly (and looked great)! And we broke out the fine china. I have 12 place settings so we had to use our everyday china for two of the place settings, but thankfully I listened to my mother back when I was selecting our china and picked a simple white everday set which compliments the fine china beautifully. And then I picked up some redish-orange cloth napkins and some green napkin holders. It all came together nicely.
The MENU was the hard part to decide on. Mr. Cob has a new grill that he's dying to use at any opportunity, so we went with Paula Deen's Bourbon Beef Tenderloin cooked on the rotisserie and it was delicious! I made a simple green salad and baked asparagus and rounded out the sides with the yummiest Twice Baked Potatoes compliments of the Pioneer Woman herself. The key ingredient: real bacon fried on the stove! I also made homemade Sangria - another PW recipe. (Sidenote: If you don't know the PW, you're missing out. She has a great blog and an incredible cookbook. And if you have a few hours to spare, checkout her love story: Black Heels to Tractor Wheels - it'll make you want to move to the country and marry a cowboy!) The Sangria was the perfect combination of sweet and savory, but it sure did creep up on you. Be warned if you try it! (The main players are red wine, white wine, orange flavored rum and orange flavored vodka - now how's that for a combination).
The dinner party wouldn't have been as successful without our fabulous guests who all contributed to the food and drink. Katie over at La Vida Leipprandt, also a PW fan, made PW's salsa and homemade guacamole with chips for some appetizers. Kelly brought delicious sausage and cheese pastry bites. Jenn a couple of bottles of great wine. Tedra made homemade garlic bread. Lauren made her grandmother's carrot cake - from scratch -(my favorite) that was incredible! And Katie made an apple crisp that was flavorful and yummy despite its Weight Watchers endorsement! Thanks for all your help ladies!
It was fun to have a bunch of friends over and enjoy a night together. Some things I learned from our dinner party: I learnd that it always takes longer to clean my house and prepare recipes than I ever anticipate. It is a science to plan your meal so that all the food is ready at the same time - a science Mr. Cob and I have yet to figure out. As long as you keep the drinks flowing and some appetizers on hand, people don't really care if dinner takes 30 minutes longer than you were anticipating. Cloth napkins must be ironed after washing, unless you're going for the "wrinkled look", which I wouldn't suggest. And finally, Catch Phrase is one of the best games and is a hillarious after dinner event.
Total number of diners = 14 (including Mr. Cob and myself)
Total number of dining tables = 1. Yes, I was able to fit 14 people comfortably around my dining room table! My one piece of advice if you have intentions of entertaining and fitting lots of people around your table - buy a pedestal table - if you have a four legged table it is hard to sit people on the ends/corners, but with a pedestal table it's a breeze. It also helps that we have 2 leafs to extend our table.
Different chairs used = 4 (breakdown: 6 black dining chairs, 4 chairs from our breakfast nook table, 2 green chairs from my yard sale purchase last April and 2 red chairs that were Mr. Cobs before we got married).
I used my new tablecloth that Mama Kae gave me for Christmas - it fit perfectly (and looked great)! And we broke out the fine china. I have 12 place settings so we had to use our everyday china for two of the place settings, but thankfully I listened to my mother back when I was selecting our china and picked a simple white everday set which compliments the fine china beautifully. And then I picked up some redish-orange cloth napkins and some green napkin holders. It all came together nicely.
The MENU was the hard part to decide on. Mr. Cob has a new grill that he's dying to use at any opportunity, so we went with Paula Deen's Bourbon Beef Tenderloin cooked on the rotisserie and it was delicious! I made a simple green salad and baked asparagus and rounded out the sides with the yummiest Twice Baked Potatoes compliments of the Pioneer Woman herself. The key ingredient: real bacon fried on the stove! I also made homemade Sangria - another PW recipe. (Sidenote: If you don't know the PW, you're missing out. She has a great blog and an incredible cookbook. And if you have a few hours to spare, checkout her love story: Black Heels to Tractor Wheels - it'll make you want to move to the country and marry a cowboy!) The Sangria was the perfect combination of sweet and savory, but it sure did creep up on you. Be warned if you try it! (The main players are red wine, white wine, orange flavored rum and orange flavored vodka - now how's that for a combination).
The dinner party wouldn't have been as successful without our fabulous guests who all contributed to the food and drink. Katie over at La Vida Leipprandt, also a PW fan, made PW's salsa and homemade guacamole with chips for some appetizers. Kelly brought delicious sausage and cheese pastry bites. Jenn a couple of bottles of great wine. Tedra made homemade garlic bread. Lauren made her grandmother's carrot cake - from scratch -(my favorite) that was incredible! And Katie made an apple crisp that was flavorful and yummy despite its Weight Watchers endorsement! Thanks for all your help ladies!
It was fun to have a bunch of friends over and enjoy a night together. Some things I learned from our dinner party: I learnd that it always takes longer to clean my house and prepare recipes than I ever anticipate. It is a science to plan your meal so that all the food is ready at the same time - a science Mr. Cob and I have yet to figure out. As long as you keep the drinks flowing and some appetizers on hand, people don't really care if dinner takes 30 minutes longer than you were anticipating. Cloth napkins must be ironed after washing, unless you're going for the "wrinkled look", which I wouldn't suggest. And finally, Catch Phrase is one of the best games and is a hillarious after dinner event.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Who makes up the rules anyway?
I'm typically not a rule breaker. I was never the kid who colored outside the lines. I like to know the boundaries and stay within them.
Ok, ok, so I smoked twigs when I was 13 years old on a swim team trip, which turned in to cigarettes a handful of years later (no, I do not smoke anymore, thank you very much) and ok so maybe I had my first drink well before the age of 21, but those are just details. Forgetting about all those infractions, I really tend to follow the rules. Wait, I just realized that I typically go at least 2-10 miles over the speed limit. I don't floss on a regular basis. I have been known to drink boxed wine in a water glass. Occasionally I'll use cream cheese in a recipe if it calls for milk and I've run out.
Well, looks like my theory is blown to bits. I don't follow rules. There, I've said it. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.
So in what appears to be a long list of rule breaking, I've done it again. Yesterday morning I decided I wanted to have a dinner party. I've been married for 17 months and have all this beautiful china that we received as wedding gifts, and it's just been sitting in my china cabinet. (Do I at least get points for buying the china cabinet to display said unused china? I think so). I want to use my china. People need to eat off of it. I mean, its beautiful. And aside from my desire to use the china, tomorrow marks our One Year anniversary. No, not our wedding anniversary. It's the one year anniversary of our house! (Well the house itself is 80 years old....) We bought our house exactly one year ago tomorrow. So I want to celebrate. So we're having a party.
So yesterday (i.e. Thursday) I sent an email to a handful of couples and invited them over for dinner on Saturday night. I then did some research on throwing a proper dinner party, seeing as how I've never thrown one. I quickly learned that I broke the first 3 rules of dinner party etiquette:
1. "Call each of your guests to invite them personally. Do not email them. Alternately you can send a proper invitation." FAIL. In my defense, this is the 21st century and the interweb is a part of everyone's, especially my generation's, daily life. We live in the day of the evite. Email is quick and easy. I think my friends might find a personal phone call odd? Doesn't that put you on the spot? Well, this doesn't exactly go with my whole disconnect to reconnect plan, so maybe I should have called. Note to self for nest time.
2. "Give your guests at least 10 days advance notice of your dinner party." FAIL. So I admit that 2 days advance notice is short notice. But so far almost everyone is coming, so maybe advance notice isn't all that necessary. Or my friends don't lead as busy lives as I thought. Maybe we just lucked out.
3. "Try to keep the guest list small and intimate. Six to Twelve guests are perfect for this type of event." FAIL. I tried, but we're up to 13 and possibly counting and it was hard to keep it to that minimum as it is. This will be a good test of our dining room table and its seating capacity. We may have to break out into two different tables, but I'm hopeful we'll all fit. Cozy is always better, right?!
So my rule breaking streak continues. But who makes these rules anyway? I think its Martha Stewart. But she did do a stint in the big house, so I think I'm ok if I rebel against the rules.
So here's to hoping my dinner party's a success, despite my indifference for the rules!
Ok, ok, so I smoked twigs when I was 13 years old on a swim team trip, which turned in to cigarettes a handful of years later (no, I do not smoke anymore, thank you very much) and ok so maybe I had my first drink well before the age of 21, but those are just details. Forgetting about all those infractions, I really tend to follow the rules. Wait, I just realized that I typically go at least 2-10 miles over the speed limit. I don't floss on a regular basis. I have been known to drink boxed wine in a water glass. Occasionally I'll use cream cheese in a recipe if it calls for milk and I've run out.
Well, looks like my theory is blown to bits. I don't follow rules. There, I've said it. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.
So in what appears to be a long list of rule breaking, I've done it again. Yesterday morning I decided I wanted to have a dinner party. I've been married for 17 months and have all this beautiful china that we received as wedding gifts, and it's just been sitting in my china cabinet. (Do I at least get points for buying the china cabinet to display said unused china? I think so). I want to use my china. People need to eat off of it. I mean, its beautiful. And aside from my desire to use the china, tomorrow marks our One Year anniversary. No, not our wedding anniversary. It's the one year anniversary of our house! (Well the house itself is 80 years old....) We bought our house exactly one year ago tomorrow. So I want to celebrate. So we're having a party.
So yesterday (i.e. Thursday) I sent an email to a handful of couples and invited them over for dinner on Saturday night. I then did some research on throwing a proper dinner party, seeing as how I've never thrown one. I quickly learned that I broke the first 3 rules of dinner party etiquette:
1. "Call each of your guests to invite them personally. Do not email them. Alternately you can send a proper invitation." FAIL. In my defense, this is the 21st century and the interweb is a part of everyone's, especially my generation's, daily life. We live in the day of the evite. Email is quick and easy. I think my friends might find a personal phone call odd? Doesn't that put you on the spot? Well, this doesn't exactly go with my whole disconnect to reconnect plan, so maybe I should have called. Note to self for nest time.
2. "Give your guests at least 10 days advance notice of your dinner party." FAIL. So I admit that 2 days advance notice is short notice. But so far almost everyone is coming, so maybe advance notice isn't all that necessary. Or my friends don't lead as busy lives as I thought. Maybe we just lucked out.
3. "Try to keep the guest list small and intimate. Six to Twelve guests are perfect for this type of event." FAIL. I tried, but we're up to 13 and possibly counting and it was hard to keep it to that minimum as it is. This will be a good test of our dining room table and its seating capacity. We may have to break out into two different tables, but I'm hopeful we'll all fit. Cozy is always better, right?!
So my rule breaking streak continues. But who makes these rules anyway? I think its Martha Stewart. But she did do a stint in the big house, so I think I'm ok if I rebel against the rules.
So here's to hoping my dinner party's a success, despite my indifference for the rules!
Friday, January 22, 2010
Small Victories
Have you ever noticed that its often the smallest things in life that make us smile? Don't get me wrong, big events make me smile too (when Mr. Cob asked me to be his wife, buying our first Christmas tree in our new house, welcoming Wrigley as a member of our family, etc.). But often its the small things that keep us going from day to day and make our light glow a little brighter.
A random "I love you" card from my husband on a Sunday afternoon. Finding a $10 bill in a coat pocket from last winter. Tying a cherry stem with your tongue. These little small victories and precious moments. They just make you smile.
I had a small victory this morning. And I sat in my office and smiled widely to myself.
A random "I love you" card from my husband on a Sunday afternoon. Finding a $10 bill in a coat pocket from last winter. Tying a cherry stem with your tongue. These little small victories and precious moments. They just make you smile.
I had a small victory this morning. And I sat in my office and smiled widely to myself.
I peeled my clementine in one piece. My small victory for today. And I have to admit, the clementine tasted better than usual - perhaps because I was smiling while I ate it.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Twenty-TEN and a Hiatus from the Blog
Well we are three weeks into 2010 and I have yet to wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR. So without any further delay, "Happy New Year" readers! I've taken a brief break from blog-writing, and internet-ing in general for that matter. I'm trying to connect with my loved ones without being connected. Does that sounds right? Can one connect without connection? I'm trying to find out.
In today’s world of facebook, blackberrys, i-phones, email, texting and blogging, the various modes of communication seem endless. But I'm starting to question the benefit of all these tools. In fact, I'd even say they're hindering our lives and relationships.
Far too often, I find myself "knowing" things about my "friends" lives without having talked to them in months, or even years in some instances. Facebook status updates tell me where my "friends" are at any given time and even lets me know when they've gone from "single" to "in a relationship" to "engaged" and sometimes back to "single." If facebook never existed, I would have no clue about most of this information. Which first begs the question, are these people really my friends? And second, am I gaining a deeper relationship with them or just being given the illusion that we are close and in touch?
Worse, I realize that I often rely on facebook to learn things about people I do talk to on a regular basis. A friend got a new car - a hybrid Camry. And another has a stress fracture in her foot and is now on crutches. Am I better off for learning these things sooner on FB, rather than learning them the next time I see/talk to these friends? But I'm at fault myself - my mother found out we got a dog when I posted a picture on FB before calling her to tell her! Her response "Well am I going to find out when you're pregnant on facebook too!!!" [DISCLAIMER: DO NOT READ THE PREVIOUS SENTENCE AS ANY ANNOUNCEMENT. THANK YOU] I myself am guilty of sharing news with my friends on facebook and this very blog.
So I've decided to make a change. After an unfortunate mis-information dissemination on facebook causing major confusion amongst family and friends, I've realized how harmful the internet can be. And do I really want all my "friends" to know about my life or just the people I actually spend time with and see in person.
One of my New Years resolutions is to disconnect to reconnect. I want to really connect with those friends and family that are truly in my life and are more than just “facebook friends.” Rather than sending an email, I'm going to make the effort to call. Rather than being attached to my blackberry at all times I'm only going to check it every now and again (which is obligatory considering I'm a lawyer and it's a firm-sponsored blackberry…). I'm rarely going to update my status on facebook and I'm only going to log-on to facebook on occasion. So if you need to reach me, give me a call. Or lets meet for lunch or a walk in the park. Let’s reconnect in person.
But I will continue to update my blog - I'm not crazy.
In today’s world of facebook, blackberrys, i-phones, email, texting and blogging, the various modes of communication seem endless. But I'm starting to question the benefit of all these tools. In fact, I'd even say they're hindering our lives and relationships.
Far too often, I find myself "knowing" things about my "friends" lives without having talked to them in months, or even years in some instances. Facebook status updates tell me where my "friends" are at any given time and even lets me know when they've gone from "single" to "in a relationship" to "engaged" and sometimes back to "single." If facebook never existed, I would have no clue about most of this information. Which first begs the question, are these people really my friends? And second, am I gaining a deeper relationship with them or just being given the illusion that we are close and in touch?
Worse, I realize that I often rely on facebook to learn things about people I do talk to on a regular basis. A friend got a new car - a hybrid Camry. And another has a stress fracture in her foot and is now on crutches. Am I better off for learning these things sooner on FB, rather than learning them the next time I see/talk to these friends? But I'm at fault myself - my mother found out we got a dog when I posted a picture on FB before calling her to tell her! Her response "Well am I going to find out when you're pregnant on facebook too!!!" [DISCLAIMER: DO NOT READ THE PREVIOUS SENTENCE AS ANY ANNOUNCEMENT. THANK YOU] I myself am guilty of sharing news with my friends on facebook and this very blog.
So I've decided to make a change. After an unfortunate mis-information dissemination on facebook causing major confusion amongst family and friends, I've realized how harmful the internet can be. And do I really want all my "friends" to know about my life or just the people I actually spend time with and see in person.
One of my New Years resolutions is to disconnect to reconnect. I want to really connect with those friends and family that are truly in my life and are more than just “facebook friends.” Rather than sending an email, I'm going to make the effort to call. Rather than being attached to my blackberry at all times I'm only going to check it every now and again (which is obligatory considering I'm a lawyer and it's a firm-sponsored blackberry…). I'm rarely going to update my status on facebook and I'm only going to log-on to facebook on occasion. So if you need to reach me, give me a call. Or lets meet for lunch or a walk in the park. Let’s reconnect in person.
But I will continue to update my blog - I'm not crazy.
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