TTT: Listen to the Voice

Yesterday began as a normal day.  It ended with me crying on and off for almost three hours convinced I was a horrible mother. 

I picked Lukas up from school as normal.  We sang songs and hunted for fire trucks on the ride home.  Daddy was still working when we arrived home, but Wrigley and Bailey were waiting for us.  We went inside and mommy needed to change clothes, so Lukas climbed the stairs to the second floor and raced into my bedroom.  I changed while he ran around singing and taunting the cat.

At some point when I was in my closet changing I heard Lukas ask to "jump bed".  I told him to wait for mommy.  He listened.  He waited.  He played with my dresser draws and shut his middle finger in the door.  He cried loudly.  Big tears welled in his eyes and he held his finger out to me.  I kissed his finger and asked if he still wanted to jump on the bed.  The crying stopped.

"Yes, jump momma." 

"Ok, buddy, you can jump for a bit."

This is normal in our house.  We're all for jumping on the bed.  We're for playing and laughing.

But we must take off our shoes and socks before we jump.  So Lukas sat on the floor and I removed his new green shoes and his Thomas the Train socks.  And I put him in the middle of my bed to jump.

He reached out for my hands, grabbed hold, jumped once and then fell back on his tush.  And then he laughed loudly, happily, wildly.  He loves to jump.  His laughter filled the room.  He jumped more.  Then I flipped him.  He laughed even louder than before.  He jumped again.  I flipped him again.

And then I heard the voice.  You know the one.  The one inside you warning you.  This is so dangerous.  You should stop flipping him this instant.  Why are you doing this?  Stupid.  Bad idea.  But he kept laughing and was so happy.  I ignored the voice.  I suppressed the bad feeling in my gut.

And I flipped him again.  Only this time he didn't laugh.  He looked up at me scared and stunned.  He had landed funny.  He didn't cry. He didn't scream.  He didn't say a word.  He just stared at me frightened.  In that instant I thought he'd broken his neck or somehow hurt himself very badly.  No, I thought I'd done something that hurt him badly.  I thought I'd hurt my precious boy.

He wasn't talking.  He wasn't crying.  In that moment I completely lost it.  Visions of him never walking again floated through my head.  At one point I had the thought, I will surely kill myself if I have hurt him.  I have never been so scared in my life.  My world is this little boy. 

I scooped him up and ran downstairs calling Mr. Cob on the way.  As I ran outside the front door (I think I was going to the neighbors' house to call 911), Mr. Cob pulled up. Through sobs I tried to explain what happened.  I was holding Lukas tight the whole time.  Mr. Cob asked to hold him and Lukas started crying and yelling for momma.  He flailed his arms and started moving normally again.  I tried to put him on the ground to see if he could walk but he would only stand on his tippy toes and cried for me the whole 3 seconds I let him go.  I held him tight again and continued to cry myself.  At least he was talking and moving his arms and legs.  But I was still sure something was very wrong.

We decided we would go to the ER to have him checked.  I didn't have shoes on so I handed Lukas over to Mr. Cob while I ran inside and gathered our things.  Our next door neighbors are both doctors and luckily one of them happened to be walking home from the park with their sons while Mr. Cob was outside waiting for me.  He took a look at Lukas, tried to calm me down and convinced me that Lukas seemed fine.  His husband, the pediatrician, would be home any minute and would come over to really examine Lukas and decide if a hospital visit was warranted.  He stayed with us and tried to distract me.

At some point Lukas asked Mr. Cob to see his dinos.  So we brought him inside and sat him on the couch to play with the dinos.  He quickly bored of the dinos and wanted to play with his baseball bat.  Just like that he hopped off the couch and raced to his room.  He ran back with his bat and was jumping all around, pretending to be a baseball player.  He was perfectly fine.  He was not hurt.  I cried harder.  Uncontrollably.

Our pediatrician neighbor came over and did a full examination of Luke and determined he was fine.  He tried to calm me down.  I continued to cry.  Lukas was not hurt, but the damage had been done to me.

I can honestly say I've never been more scared in my life.  And mad at myself.  Why didn't I listen to the voice telling me to stop?  How could I be so stupid?  I thank God Lukas is OK and I'll never flip him on the bed again.  And from now on I will always, always listen to the voice.

Mother's intuition is real.  You just have to listen to it.  Next time I will be all ears. 

TTT: Toddler Hair Cutting

Yesterday the little man's hair looked like this:

BEFORE:

He was in serious need of a haircut.  As in, his last  (and only) hair cut was on April 28.  APRIL people.  If my math skills are correct, that is four months ago!

So yes, he was overdue.  But we've been busy.  Mommy's been crazy.  Haircuts were not top on our priority list.  (Here is where I will not actually admit that I haven't had my hair cut since March 23.  Oh wait....)  But Lukas and I are off to visit a good friend of mine who I haven't seen in a long time.  The last time we were together was for my wedding. Four years ago this week.  FOUR years!  Which is actually longer than the amount of time I lived in Massachusetts where I met her. There are now three little boys between us.  I was not going to allow my little man's first impression to be one of wild unkemptness.  (I figure I can keep up that charade for the 2.5 days we're in Bean Town.)

So last night I decided to take things in my own hands and play the role of hairdresser.  Mr. Cob thought I was crazy but he reluctantly allowed me to go for it.  We saved $17 and a whole bunch of tears (the last haircutting experience didn't go over so well from the little man's viewpoint if you'll remember...

I don't think Lukas missed the space ship seat or the whole "salon experience."

So if you want to play hairdresser too, here's what you need to do:

1.  Check out this blog post over at Young House Love and watch the video of Sherry cutting her husband's hair.  I watched it in May when she first posted it and should've watched again last night for a refresher before embarking on my own DIY haircut but I'm not practical like that. 

2. Get your supplies ready.  A decent pair of hair cutting scissors.  Snacks.  Multiple drink choices (for your kiddo - save the wine until after the cut! Safety first folks, safety first). Toys.  Your computer/Ipad with kid-friendly shows or songs ready to PLAY.

3.  Go outside and plop your kiddo on a stool.  It helps to have another person with you to entertain the kiddo or steady them on the stool or keep their hands at their sides.

4.  Use Sherry's technique (I would describe it here, but she really does a great job in her video!) and don't be scared about messing up or going to short.  I started cutting wrong (i.e. vertically) in the back, but quickly realized my mistake before we had a full on hair disaster. Just remember: cut the hair dry, pull hair through fingers, and snip.  Keep it longer on top.  It worked!

5.  Hope for the best!  And reward yourself with a big glass of wine after.  (My current favorite is Apothic Red - a lovely California red blend!)

AFTER:

Side by side comparison:

AFTER: TODDLER TRENDY CHIC

BEOFRE: UNRULY

I don't think it turned out too shabby!  I could use some help around the ears and in the back, but for a first try I'll take it!  Maybe I'll eventually get some clippers for the finishing touch.  Maybe not.

So the next time your little guy or gal needs a haircut, save your cash and give him or her a new do yourself!  

TTT - Flying Solo

I missed last week's installment of Toddler Tips Tuesday.  I figured no one would notice, but sure enough, I was called out on the missing post.  Apparently I do have a few readers, who knew?  Sorry for the missing tip, I just couldn't get it together last week.  But I had heartburn about it and almost threw some dribble together at 11:55pm Tuesday night so I wouldn't miss this weekly post.  In the end I just couldn't come up with a tip.  It's hard to offer tips to others when you're needing tips yourself, you know?

But I'm back with tips galore this week.  I fully realize I already gave y'all some tips for traveling with a toddler and  flying with a toddler back in March.  But this week, my tips are about flying ALONE with a toddler.  A rambunctious toddler to be exact.

Lukas and I flew out to California last week to visit my big brother and his son.  Mr. Cob, being the big time litigator that he is, was unable to join us. My fear of being stuck on a plane for five hours with a rowdy 21 month old boy almost overpowered my desire to go West, but in the end I decided that it was worth the potential disaster to spend time with my family.  We survived the flight there and back, with minimal tears (from either one of us) and after buying out half of Target the night before our flight, I'm back with some new tips for flying with a toddler.

Flying Solo Tip #1 - Shell out the Cash.  If you can spare the money, buy your little guy or gal their own seat.  Even though kids under 2 fly free, it is safer and better for everyone if you each have your own seat.  Two seats = more room = happier kid and parent = happy plane ride for all.

Flying Solo Tip #1A - Shell out a Little Bit of Cash.  If you are don't want to shell out an extra $350 (the going price for a ticket to Cali) for a seat that your toddler may or may not even sit in, then they can sit on your lap for free.  I must admit that this is my chosen course for all flights we've taken with Lukas thus far.  (We once lucked out on a flight on Southwest and ended up with all three seats in a row even though we only paid for 2 - one of the benefits of flying Southwest is choosing your own seats and no one will choose to sit next to a small child if the flight isn't full!) 

Ok, so here's my tip if you are flying with an infant on your lap and you are flying DELTA - upgrade to "Economy Comfort" where you'll enjoy three to four inches of additional legroom and priority boarding. The Economy Comfort seats are located in the first few rows of the economy class cabin, behind first class.  And if you can, choose the row directly behind first class and you'll have even more room.  The price for Economy Comfort varies depending on the length of your flight - to California it was an extra $59 each way and for my upcoming flight to Boston it was an extra $29 each way.  So while Lukas didn't have his own seat, we had more room than a regular seat in coach and he was able to stand up and move around at our seat.  I am telling you, it is well worth the money!

Flying Solo Tip #2 - Leash Um.  Ditch the stroller (which can be cumbersome when traveling alone with a child if said child doesn't want to actually sit in said stroller) and put a harness on your kid.  Yes, leash him or her (if they can walk, of course).  The ongoing joke in my husband's family is that Mr. Cob's grandparents put a leash on his father when he was little.  I've always laughed at the joke, but those days are over.  I now fully support keeping a child on a leash harness. 

If you have ever been to the Atlanta airport, you know it is the busiest airport in the world.  And by busiest airport in the world, I mean a parental nightmare. A sea of people in a hurry to get from point A to point B and a feisty little one who finds it hilarious when you tell him no and continues to run away faster when you tell him to "come here" do not mix.  This is where the harness comes in.


Eddie Bauer Backpack Harness

For $14.99 at Target (on sale online now for only $12.74) you can buy yourself the peace of mind you deserve when traveling alone with a toddler.  Lukas happily wore his little backpack (which matched mommy's black backpack - a fact he pointed out often) and I held the strap that attached to his backpack preventing him from running away from me.  This was a lifesaver.  My biggest fear was losing him in the airport, but he could no longer escape once I put this little backpack on him.  He had the freedom he wanted while I was able to maintain ;physical contact with him at all times. 

(Sidenote: Along the lines of toddler loss prevention, I saw these temporary tattoos on pinterest last night and will be purchasing some for my little guy for future trips, park visits, etc. 

picture courtsey of tottoos.org

What a brilliant idea!  Check out tottoos.org to purchase some for yourself.)

Flying Sol Tip #3 - Passing the Time.  In my prior post I mentioned the two toddler in-flight necessities: food and entertainment.  So remember to pack plenty of snacks and books.  This trip I also brought along a sticker book which I was told could provide hours of fun.  Well, Lukas loved the Thomas the Train sticker book, but he's not able to peel the stickers off himself.  So while he played with the stickers for an hour, I was also involved for an hour tending to his request to "help please" every 20 seconds. (At least he was polite, right?)  So, just a fair warning on the sticker front: parental involvement is required.

I loaded up my Ipad with some Thomas the Train, Sesame Street and Dinosaur Train episodes and even purchased child-sized headphones, but Lukas refused to wear the headphones and quickly lost interest in the programs since he couldn't hear them.  He was, luckily, entertained with various toddler apps for quite some time though. 

Flying Solo Tip #4 - Relax.  Kids are kids.  Kids are loud.  Saying shhh just adds more noise to the mix and doesn't help my kid quiet down.  So after only about 10 minutes on the plane, I just decided to let Lukas talk as much as he wanted and even encouraged him by engaging in conversation with him (as much as one can engage with a toddler).  Everyone around us knew of his love for "jumbo jets" before we even took flight.  He animatedly (read: loudly) pointed out all the cars, trucks, jumbo jets and people on the tarmac.  And he yelled at the TV screen as we watched the Olympics in flight ("running", "momma, home run!", "soccer!" - all said at a full on scream accompanied with lots of clapping).  The people around us may have been annoyed, but I figure it's better to have a happy, loud toddler, than a crying, inconsolable one.  So, just relax and don't worry about anyone else around you.  Flying is a big adventure for your little one, so let them enjoy it!

What are your tips for flying alone with a toddler?

TTT - Play

Today's tip is a simple one.  But one that I think we need to be reminded of often, especially with leading such busy lives.  It can be easy to get caught up in the day to day stresses of life and work and getting dinner on the table and picking up the toys around the house.

Don't forget to take time to play.  Sing silly songs (and shake the sillies out).  Run around in the rain.  Jump on the bed.  Make animal sounds with your 2 year old.

Tonight, we left the dinner plates on the table, the bags from our trip unpacked and the mail unopened.  Instead, we played together and sang Old McDonald while Lukas danced and jumped on the bed.

I smiled and laughed more than I have all day.  I hope this video makes you smile and reminds you to take time out to simply play.

TTT - Toddler Eating

A friend recently wrote me an email asking about kid-friendly food advice.  Her email was something to the effect of: So my kiddo is starting to eat more and more table food, and I am tired of making the same old thing for dinner each night.  Do you have anything that you make for Lukas that you freeze or make on Sunday and have for the week?  Anything that he really likes?  Could I have the recipe? 

 

Great question.  And one I don't have a great answer for in my actual life, but I do have some thoughts on what I would do if I were doing everything I thought of doing.  Do you follow?  If not, keep reading. (And if you followed that then welcome to my world!)

 

So my typical evening goes something like this:

 

5pm leave work
5:15ish get to daycare
5:30ish leave daycare
6ish arrive home
6:30ish Mr. Cob arrives home
7:45/8 Lukas to bed
8:01 at the latest, full glass of wine in my hand

 

Lukas gets fed somewhere between the time we arrive home and the time he goes to bed.  This is helpful to you not at all, I know.  (Bear with me. I hope to have a tip in here somewhere.) Mr. Cob and I eat either with him (but usually not) or after he goes to bed.  I'd love it if we all always ate together, but we don't.  It is what it is.  If we are all eating together, I usually throw dinner together while Lukas reads books or plays with his dinosaurs, trains or a puzzle.  I attempt to keep the TV watching to the weekends.  He is old enough now to entertain himself for the 10 minutes it takes me to throw a meal togehter.  So if something takes longer than 10 minutes prep time, I tend to not make it.

 

So that's the when.  But I think the question was more tailored to the what.

 

With toddler picky eat habits starting early, Lukas' likes and dislikes seem to change daily.  So I don't worry too much about what he's eating or how well rounded his diet is.  I focus more on making sure he is eating something decent by not giving him the option of any "bad" food.  I don't cook fried food or offer him sugary treats at night.  I offer him at least one fruit or veggie with every meal and hope for the best. I also always give Lukas at least one thing on his plate that I know he will eat.  For a while I thought I needed to give him real meals - you know, meatloaf or tacos or lasagna, but I let that go rather quickly because he hardly ever eats my "hard-cooked meals" and I realized that he's just as content to eat a banana, some black beans, string cheese and peas.  He eats really odd combinations of food, but he seems to like it.

 

Last night, for example, he ate nearly a cup of cut up strawberries, some bread, corn and one bite of turkey burger. 

 

If I have made dinner and it's ready when it's time for Lukas to eat, I give him a little bit of what we are eating and try to convince him to try it.  This doesn't always work.  What typically does work for us is to "cheers" food with him (strange, but effective).  (Imagine clinking wine glasses in a toast, we toast with food and "then we eat" and yes, we say it aloud).

 

As far as recipes go, I keep it pretty simple if I am cooking something for Lukas.  Here are some meals I'll make for him:

 

• Quesadillas (cheese or chicken) with a side of black beans.
• English muffin pizzas - you can hide some veggies under the cheese!
• Grilled cheese with a side of grapes and peas.
• Rolled deli turkey, slices of cheese and bread with cut up fruit (and yes, one would think that is just a turkey and cheese sandwich, but my little guy likes his sandwich deconstructed, so I skip the step of actually constructing it).
• Mac n cheese made with pureed sweet butternut squash (see Jessica Seinfeld's book on sneaking veggies into your kids meals).
• Breakfast for dinner - scrambled eggs (can add pureed cauliflower) and cheese, with bacon and pancakes made with pureed sweet potatoes and a side of fruit.
• Spaghetti and meatballs - you can cut up veggies into the sauce.
• Don't underestimate a good ole PB&J.
• Cheese and spinach or meat tortellinis with tomato sauce.

 

I try to plan out our meals for the upcoming week every Sunday and then we do our grocery shopping as a family Sunday afternoons or evening.  That way we have food on hand in the house, which really can make or break any good intentions I have for eating in.  In the winter I'm a fan of the crock pot and I also keep a few prepared meals from Trader Joe's on hand in the freezer as a last resort.  Though we tend to go out to eat or pick up takeout before turning to the freezer.  I'd say we eat out 1-2 times per week because we just can't get our act together at the end of the work day.  Maybe sad, but true.

 

I hope this is helpful!  What do you feed your little ones for dinner?  Do you eat dinner as a family?

The Post that Vanished

So, some of you may have seen the below post on Tuesday of this week.  It was up for a few hours and then was mysteriously taken down.  And by mysteriously taken down, I mean I removed it.  I posted it without thinking too much about the consequences and about the fact that I was doing the one thing I try not to do: announce/elude to something on the blog before I've told my family and close friends.  So I wanted to take down the post and at the very least,talk to my mom.  Turns out she saw the post in the two hours it was up.  And the post wasn't even news to her - as I should've known, even across the country in California, she's known something has been going on with me.  Then after I removed the post, something didn't feel right.  I felt like I was hiding by choosing to stop writing, and that's not what I'm about.   In the event that other women are going through something similar, I've decided to keep writing and to open up about what's going on.  But before that, the vanished post:

TTT: Know Your Limits

This post is framed as a tip so that I don't miss a Toddler Tips Tuesday post.  But it's more of an admission and an explanation.


The truth is that I am overextended right now. 


Everything feels like "too much" and something has got to give.  Right now, the thing to give is going to be this blog. 


I love writing and I love sharing my parenting journey with all of you, but lately it is feeling like yet another obligation and a burden. 


I try to be as genuine as possible on this blog and I haven't been totally forthcoming lately, so rather than continue to pretend everything is sunshine and rainbows, I'm going to stop writing publicly on the blog for a while.  The post-weaning depression did not go away on it's own.  It got worse.  So I'm sure that has something to do with my overwhelmed feelings of late.  But I'm not prepared to share that personal aspect of my life just yet. I'm dealing with it and I hope to talk about that at some point, just not right now.


I'm continuing again to struggle with the pulls of being a mom and wife and lawyer.  So for the time being, rather than put extra energy into keeping up this blog, I'm going to focus on my family and try to figure some things out.  And I think I need to sort these things out privately, rather than in a public venue, regardless of how few people read this blog.


So thank you for following over the past few years.  I plan on writing again and picking this blog back up, I'm just not sure when that will be.  It could be next week, or it could be in a year.  At this point, I'm not sure.

So, let me explain.  The biggest things has been the fact that the post-weaning depression was real and really did not go away.  Here's the post I wrote a few weeks ago, but chickened out rather than posting:

Weaning Depression: Full Disclosure

So I have been debating whether or not to write this post. My general rule is not to post anything on the blog that could cause a phone call from my mom or close friends asking me something along the lines of "why did I learn about this from your blog?". This post will cause those phone calls. If you're reading this and you don't know about this yet, I'm sorry. I just haven't been up for talking about it.



The sadness, despair and tears after weaning didn't stop. Four weeks later, they were still there. It all came to a head last week. I couldn't stop crying at work. As in, had the door shut all day and just sobbed at my desk. Nothing was wrong, yet I couldn't stop crying. Everything seemed horrible and amplified. I called Mr. Cob at one point and cried to him and said that I just couldn't do it anymore. Everything was too hard. Work was too much and I just felt like I was failing. He told me to call the doctor. I promised I would, but was lying. Luckily, my phone rang shortly thereafter. A woman I consider my mentor called me and asked how I was doing. I said fine and she said "you don't sound fine." And the flood gates opened. And I told her how I just felt like I was constantly on the verge of a panic attack. How I was sobbing for no reason. How it just felt like too much. And she said she understood and that she'd had similar issues after weaning. And she convinced me to hang up the phone and call my doctor. Like, right now. So I did. I called my OB and talked to the nurse and explained what was going on. She talked to the doctor and then called me back saying the doctor was calling me in a prescription for an anti-anxiety/anti-depressant. And she gave me the name of a few therapists.

So I filled the prescription and have been taking it for a week. I was more depressed and sad the first two days. Part of me felt completely defeated for not being able to deal with this on my own. A part of me worried what my family and friends would think. A part of me worried it wouldn't help.


Day 3 I woke up feeling better. I haven't cried uncontrollably for no reason. I haven't had the horrible anxiety. I haven't felt lost or sad. I finally am starting to feel like me again.


And tomorrow morning I go to see a therapist. As a wise woman recently told me, a little therapy is good for everyone.

I don't want to take medicine for a long time, but I was to the point of struggling to function at work and get through my day. So I'm glad I called the doctor. I'm trying not to feel embarrassed. But for some reason I am. Even writing this post, I question whether I'll actually post it for the world. Actually, it's not the world I'm concerned about. It's those I'm close to.


So for now, the truth is that I am taking an antidepressant and I'm seeing a therapist.  These are big, personal things that I have very mixed emotions about.  But if I'm going to keep writing this blog, then I must keep being honest and right now, Zoloft and therapy are my truth.  Thankfully, they are also working.  More on that soon....

TTT - Water Babies

Cob here. Mrs. Swan’s month of insanity continues and so continues my ongoing series of shameless humblebrags cleverly disguised as tips. (Mom, just google humblebrag). It's summer time and you know what that means, its time to officially give up on the Cubs. Oh, and swimming, yes that’s my point swimming.


As Mrs. Cobb reminds me anytime I take a bath, I am not a strong swimmer. I don’t know why. My parents had me in swim lessons at 6 months old. You see my family has a lake house and my dad’s theory, and it isn’t a bad one mind you, was that if that kid falls in the water, we need to make sure he doesn’t sink like a stone – I need five or six seconds to jump in after him.

So though I am decidedly unstone-like (too much hair) I am not a good swimmer. I recall being in swim lessons and my younger siblings usually started at a higher level than and definitely finished all 12 levels, by the time I was even allowed me into the deep end of the pool. Talk about embarrassing. But let me should clarify. Though I am not a good swimmer, I love diving in the water and swimming around. I just get really tired, really fast, probably because I am doing it all wrong.

Mrs. Swan, was a fantastic competitive swimmer growing up. If she hadn’t torn her rotator cuff her senior year, she might have even given swimming a go in college. She is what we call a strong swimmer; I call her a show off. Nonetheless swimming and playing in the water is part of some of our fondest childhood memories. We want the same for Lukas.

So it is important to us that Lukas is at least comfortable in the water. Personally I hope he takes after Mrs. Swan in terms of ability, though both of us aren’t sure if we want him to be doing the whole swim team at 4am thing. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

So this summer’s mission is comfort. Two reasons. First, the water is a ton of fun, but sometimes kids get quite scared of it. Second, and more importantly, our family vacations involve the water, and I don’t see that changing for quite some time. With Mrs. Swan’s parents we typically go to the beach. With my parents it is the lake house, where Pop-Pop is constantly muttering about kids who sink like stones.

Our plan to make Lukas comfortable is going well, some might say swimmingly. (Yeah, roll your eyes. Whatever, you’re just jealous.) On Saturday, at grandma’s pool he tried to just walk down the steps into the water while we were still putting our bags down. It seems he is comfortable. Quite a difference, at the beginning of the summer he was very nervous around the pool.

The plan all started with running through the sprinkler. Lukas has water days at school every Thursday and while he was hesitant the first water day, seeing other kids run through it apparently told him that it was all right. He now goes nuts in the sprinkler and at the splashpark in the Old Fourth Ward of Atlanta. (If you are in ATL, check it out, it is just off North Ave., near the Masquerade. Pretty awesome).

So the sprinklers got him used to water and splashing, but it took some silliness to get him to actually enjoy going in the water with us. Initially Lukas did not like simply being held in the middle of the pool, swimming in our arms. He would get close to throwing a fit if you tried to take him off the steps at the side of the pool. We overcame that by me throwing him. No, not like that. Lukas loves to be thrown in the air and caught. I started doing this in the water and simply catching him as he meets the water. This got him used to water splashing on him and to submerging a bit into the water. Here is a tip though, make sure the kid is wearing a water shirt. I tried throwing him when he had no shirt on and catching him was darn near impossible. Apparently toddlers are very slippery.

So, he stands in shallow water, he will get thrown in the air, he tolerates swimming around in the middle of the pool with mama and dada. The last thing was going underwater. It had already happened once or twice, and it wasn’t even my fault – he usually fell over in a baby pool and went under – but it would really scare him. It would scare us too. Mrs. Swan and I had read that you should blow in his face and then just dunk him: apparently blowing in his face makes him hold his breathe. That system is all well and good, but the face blow/dunk method doesn’t give the kid much choice and at the end of the day, we weren’t convinced it was making him all that comfortable going underwater.

The solution was discovered by accident and like most of my parent breakthroughs it came about because I am a silly, silly man. I was holding Lukas and I dunked my own head, came up blowing water out my mouth and growling. He thought it was hysterical and starting point at the water saying “Dada… Dada! More… more!” So I kept dunking my head for about two minutes. I then was tired. And then it happened. He started bending his face to the water and dipping his face in. The game then became Dada tries, then Lukas tries. I am pleased to report that Lukas has since fallen over in baby pools and gone under, but he now comes up laughing, having held his breath the whole time. Success? Kind of.

One problem. When I taught him to dunk his face I would do an exaggerated inhalation. You know mouth open, audibly sucking in air. And I wouldn’t close my mouth until I started to tilt my head down. So of course, having never seen me close my mouth, Lukas started to hold his mouth open and stick his face in the water, with his mouth still open. For those of you scoring at home, this is not what we were trying to teach him. This is in fact the opposite of what we were going for. So, the new technique is to inhale, puff cheeks like some sort of chipmunk and then dunk our head. He has caught on, and is no longer trying to drink the pool.

So, is Lukas a fish? No, he is a little boy. Does he like to swim? I think so. Most importantly for us, he seems to not panic anymore if he ends up underwater. I suppose the take away point I got from all of this is that if you can make something that is scary, like going underwater, seem silly, even fun, it goes a long way to getting your child to see there is nothing to be scared of. So be a goofball.

TTT- Stay in Touch

Cob here.  I was initially concerned about my idea for this week's toddler tip since it is about Skype and I thought that if you are reading an online blog, odds are you know all about Skype.  However, I learned that Swans are Nesting has a significant number of print subscribers.  Apparently, Mrs. Swan has hired a number of paperboys in select cities who hand deliver her posts.  On days when Mrs. Swan has a couple of ideas (or drinks) in her, these paperboys need to leave class and Mrs. Swan provides them with a forged note from their parents.  Suffice to say, it turns out that there are many of you who will be reading this who have not heard of Skype.  It also turns out that many of those same people don't know what a computer is, but maybe my description of Skype will encourage you to finally give in and purchase an Interweb Box Machine (IBM).¹

                Skype is a free program that you can download off the web (just google or Bing! It) that permits you to make video phone calls to anyone else who has Skype.  All you need to do is download the program, set up an account and you are good to go.  Wait… you also need a camera...  and a computer, print subscribers.  Also, the other person needs a Skype set up.

That's right.  The future has arrived.  Every movie about the future featured video phone calls, like Back to the Future (fun!) and 1984 (bad!).  My experience with Skype has been more like Back to the Future than 1984 and it is great for our family.  My parents are in Chicago, so they do not get to see Lukas very much.  So are my brother and sister.  My brother in law (Mrs. Swan's brother if you are scoring at home) is in California, along with our nephew STU! (that's how Luke says it).  The ability for them to see Lukas and for Lukas to see them routinely is invaluable.  No, it is not the same as seeing him in person, but anyone who asks my parents, or STU!, would say it is definitely worth it.

If you think your family members might be reluctant or if they are not good with computers ("The internet is a series of tubes!") you can kind of force Skype on them, assuming they already have a computer. Newegg.com, Amazon.com, and even Best Buy have deals on webcams, and sometimes you can get a set of two or three, so you can pick up cameras for everyone you care about and want to Skype with.  That is what we did with my parents (though they are more computer savvy than most); we bought a two pack of cameras and gave one to them for Christmas. 

Now those of you who already know about Skype have probably fallen asleep by this point.  To some of you, this is yesterday's news.  However, I do have some tips and uses for Skype that I would like to share with you.  First, if you are buying a new laptop, and can afford the laptop with the built in camera, do it.  Here's why.  Sometimes Lukas wants to show Nana and Pop-Pop a new toy in his room, he will sprint from the living room, where we are talking, to his room.  He will not wait for the computer set up to be moved.  With a built in webcam – you can chase him to his room, doing your best to keep him on camera.  Also, when you get to his room, you can simply put the computer down and continue recording; with an separately plugged in webcam the process is a bit more difficult.

Second, having family and friends on the computer can help you get stuff done around the house.  No, you can't turn on the Skype and go wash your car, or paint the fence, but hear me out.  Sometimes, when I have to make dinner and Mrs. Swan is working late or out with friends, it sure helps to have Nana and Pop-Pop available to talk and entertain Luke.  He loves it when Nana sings itsby bitsy spider, and let's be honest, the hand gestures (brought to you by Skype) make that song.  It's a little light on plot – SPOILER ALERT – he goes up the spout again.  Many times that song, or the wheels on the bus (much richer plot, IMO), buys me some time to make his dinner.  Also, Lukas is particularly cute at dinner, offering Nana and Pop-Pop (that is, the computer screen) bites of olives or strawberries and basically showing off by how well he can spoon yogurt onto his shirt.  So I don't think I am out of line in saying that Nana and Pop-Pop like babysitting a little bit while I am making dinner.

If you live more than a few hours from grandpa and grandma, Skype can really help share the magic moments of your life with those you wish could be there with you. So consider this post my ringing endorsement of Skype.  In the words of Chicago legend Ferris Bueller "[Skype], it is so choice.  If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up."

[1]  Full Disclosure:  Most, if not all, of this first paragraph is a lie.  You're welcome!   

TTT - Can I Get a Hand?

In this week's episode of Toddler Tips Tuesday, we're going to talk working mom tips.  This may seem obvious to everyone else, but in case it's not (and because I don't have the brain capacity to come up with some earth shattering tip at the moment) here is my tip for this Tuesday: ask for help when you need it.

June is historically my busy month at work.  This June is no different and due to some unavoidable circumstances my group is down a few key players right now, which makes this busy month even busier for me.  In a nutshell, I have more work than I can possibly keep up with.  But I'm doing the best I can and weeding out most extracurricular activities (hence the lack of blog posts).

Today marks my 9th day in a row at the office.  Meaning that I worked IN THE OFFICE both Saturday and Sunday this week.  Our daycare isn't open on Saturdays or Sundays, so that meant I needed to make arrangements for Lukas.  My parents kept him Friday night through Saturday afternoon and then Mr. Cob kept him all day Sunday.  Working all weekend also meant that I couldn't run any of the usual weekend errands.  But my boys did the grocery shopping for the week and Mr. Cob took Lukas on the scheduled play date.  Mr. Cob folded all the laundry and took care of the yard.  He's been making dinners or taking us out to eat.  My mom even sent us home with food and a girlfriend fed my boys on Sunday afternoon.

A year ago I would've been really upset about missing both full weekend days with my little guy and husband.  I would've wondered why I'd had a baby when I had to put him in day care all week and not even get to spend every waking hour with him on the weekends.  I certainly would have felt extreme guilt about not "raising" him myself.

While I wouldn't go so far to say that I love working all weekend, I now know that  I'm not a bad mom for being a working mom who has to work long hours and sometimes all weekend. How do I know this?   In the 24 hours that my mom watched Lukas this weekend she taught him how to say circle, "momma work", and noodle.  She convinced him to eat fruits that I can't get him to touch and she also taught him to jump into the pool. When I walked in my parent's house Lukas looked up at me, smiled and yelled MOMMA, but continued to read on the sofa with my mom.  He was happy to see me, but was clearly continuing to thrive without me.  


On Sunday, Mr. Cob didn't keep the same strict schedule with Lukas that I usually set.  He took a nap an hour later than usual and he gave him some snacks I wouldn't have chosen.  But Lukas was happy and still went to bed on time without a fight that night.  We have different parenting styles, but both work equally well.  (A fact I have to periodically remind myself.)  And my husband loved spending the entire day with his son without having to compete (my word) with me for Lukas' attention.  What can I say, he's a momma's boy, but I know it can be hard for Mr. Cob to hear Lukas always ask for me instead of him, and the least I can do is step out of the way once in a while.  


So instead of looking at my "lost weekend" with mommy guilt (as I would have a year ago), I now see the weekend for what it was: I gave Mr. Cob the gift of daddy time and my mom the gift of grandma time.  And it's OK that other people were doing the things that I "should" have be doing myself.


I'm not a bad wife for not being able keep up the house, always watch our son, iron my husband's shirts and make breakfast, lunch and dinner with a smile.  I'm a good mom and wife for helping to financially support our family and continue to succeed in my chosen career path.  I'm a good mom and wife for maintaining an identity that is important to me other than "mom" and "wife".  I'm a good mom and wife.  Period.

I think as moms and wives we put unnecessary pressure on ourselves and feel as though our little world will fall apart if we're not always there holding it together.  But we need to give ourselves a break and know that the world will continue to spin, with or without us.  We need to accept the help when it is offered.  And more, we need to ask for help when we  get in over our heads and are having trouble continuing to swim.

TTT - Book Cards

Sadly for my readers, Mr. Cob was on baby duty all day yesterday taking care of our feverish little man, so he didn't have time to write a post.  From what I hear, the readers have enjoyed his writing.  Maybe next week he'll write again!  Sip Sip may even make a guest appearance as she informed me she has some toddler tips, being the sage grandma she is!  Anyone else who has a good tip please feel free to send them my way and you can be a guest blogger too!! 

Ok, so today's tip.  This is a tip for anyone throwing a baby shower or for any pregnant mommies out there who are having a shower thrown for them.  On the invitation, instruct the guest to bring a children's book in lieu of a card and write their "card" in the inside cover of the book.  This way the new momma (and baby) have a collection of books, in addition to all the shower goodies, after the shower.  My friends did this for my baby shower and Lukas' library quickly filled up.  And beyond just baby showers, books make a great gift for a baby's first birthday, a congratulations gift upon hearing a friend is pregnant or when you visit the new baby for the first time.  I'm a firm believer that you can never have too many children's books.

What I especially love about giving a "book card" is that when you're reading the books to your little one, you have the added bonus of remembering your friend or family member who gave you the book because you see their signed note when you open the book!  So whenever you give someone a book, always remember to leave a note in the inside cover so the recipient thinks of you every time they read. 

We're currently on a nightly rotation of The Little Engine that Could (thanks to my first friend from law school, Jenn), Give a Dog a Donut (thanks to Lukas' school friend Nate and his fabulous mommy, Natalie) and Goodnight Moon (thanks to our friends over at La Vida Leipprandt - the first book we received for Lukas - the inscription says "to baby boy Swan" - we hadn't even named him yet!).  I may not remember who gave me what onesie or other gift from my shower, but I remember who gave me what book.

What are your current bedtime books?  Do you have any favorites?  Any books you've come to loathe?

And as a bonus tip this week, I'll pass on what one friend told me at my shower: BEWARE of reading Dr. Seuss books...they are L.O.N.G.!  And now that I think about it, so is The Little Engine that Could.  I mean, we get it.  The toys and food are for "the good little boys and girls on the other side of the mountain."  No need to tell me every single page.  I'm in trouble when Lukas starts to realize that my fifth time through The Little Engine is much shorter than the first!  Yes, that's right.  He insists that we read every book at least 3 times before bed. So maybe I improvise a little.  Maybe.  Just a little.  But don't worry, I always keep the good parts.  "I Think I Can, I think I can."

TTT - Choices

Cob here. So two weeks in a row with some Toddler tips. Have you been able to figure out that June is Mrs. Swan’s busy month (one of them at least).

Mrs. Swan: Cob. Cob? Cob! COB!

Me: *snort* Uh, I’m up! I’m up.

Mrs. Swan: Seriously, its 7:30, I just put Lukas to bed, how are you already asleep?

Me: Look I read a lot of stuff today… Perez Hilton had an exclusive interview with J. Beib’s kitten, Professor Chiltonton. I am beat.

Mrs. Swan: Okay, well, I’m in a bind and despite my instincts, I was hoping you might have some more tips or thoughts… no dick jokes.

Me: Well… I did have one idea… hmmm, no dick jokes though, so… let’s just post this recipe I saw in Decent Homekeeping last week. It was the winning recipe for gazpacho at the 14th annual Northeast Georgia Pudding Jamboree and Tepid Soup-Off.

Mrs. Swan: Just go back to sleep, I’ll figure something out.

Me: Great.

So I went back to sleep, but I awoke some 8 hours later, at 3 in the morning with a cry. “Epiphany!” Mrs. Swan then cried out as well, also excited at my brilliant idea.

Me: I got it! I can write that post. No need to break out the Gazpacho recipe!

Mrs. Swan: What?! Ah, Fine… Jesus.

Choices. That is this week’s tip. Through my research (read: Trial and Error), I have learned that one way to manage Lukas’ tantrums is to give him a choice. Doctors might call this preventative medicine. Those same doctors might also tell me “you can’t let a 19 month old make choices for himself or he will be some kind of pantless cupcake addict.” To that I would say, “Listen doc, these are not real choices, it is the illusion of a choice. Yes doctor, I trick my child, a little bit. It is good for him, I think.”

Choices. It is apparent that Lukas, despite his small stature, believes himself to be nearly a full grown person. We have come realize that when Lukas needs to do something he doesn’t want to do, the best way to prevent a tantrum is to offer him an option; the thing he doesn’t want to do, or something worse. It was the same reason I hung out with persons of questionable moral character in college – I looked a heck of a lot better considering the alternatives. Eh Mrs. Swan? In all seriousness though, choices have really helped and it empowers the little guy to a certain degree.

We first noticed this when it came to clothes. See, the little nudist began to protest against clothes and the social conventions associated with them. So one day Mrs. Swan got out three shirts, each of them somewhat acceptable, and simply asked him what shirt he wanted to wear. He chose and then we put it on and he didn’t complain that much. Amazing. We continued this practice.

Food as well. Our pediatrician told us that one way to get around this picky eating problem was to give him a couple of options on his plate. At first, we gave him one thing he liked and three things he didn’t. He basically just ate the thing he liked. Game on. Next we gave him four things he kind of liked and out of either acceptance, or confusion, he tended to eat three or four things. Now we give him four options and include in it some of his favorites (strawberries) and for some reason he tends to eat some of the stuff her doesn’t like (i.e., green foods). Success, via the scientific method (Note: I am only a recreational scientist).

Probably the greatest example of the power of choices was today:

Mrs. Swan: Luke, do you want to take a bath?

Luke: Yeh!

Me: Did he just say…

Mrs. Swan: You want to take a bath?

Luke: Yeh! (begins taking off shirt – gets stuck on head – falls on his butt)

Baths have been few and far between the last two or three weeks. He has been crying through most of them and the baths were more like glorified sponge baths rather than proper baths, with Lukas standing and crying (no booty immersion) and with Mrs. Swan asking him to sit down for five minutes until eventually just scrubbing him while he stands. Tonight, bath time was a pleasure, like it used to be.

Admittedly, things are easier now that he can say “Yeh!” and “Nooooo.” And bear in mind we are not complete idiots – he doesn’t get to choose everything and sometimes we have to put our foot down – but I would be remiss if I didn’t note how much giving him some choices has helped. So the next time you see us in public, and Lukas is wearing Purple, Red, Yellow, and Brown, don’t blame me, blame him. It was his call. As for my outfit…well I get to choose my clothes too… and there is nothing you can do about it. If Lukas gets to choose, I do too!

Toddler Tips Tuesday: The Dad Perspective

For this week's edition of "Toddler Tips Tuesday" we have a guest writer - my man, Mr. Cob.  I hope you enjoy his tip(s)!

Cob here.  So Ms. Swan said to me the other day “wow you are a great Dad.  How do you do it?  Though you are truly the most handsome,funny, brawny, gorgeous, hilarious, and strong man this side of the Mason-Dixon,and surely most of that is from your fine gene pool, you must have some tips you can offer the rest of the common men out there to help them become such great dads.  Can you please share them next Tuesday.”

“998, 999, 1000… Sure,” I said putting down the fifty pound dumbbells, “I think there are a couple things that I do that other people might find helpful.”

So here we are.  Let me first say that in our parenting of Lukas, Ms. Swan is certainly the person doing the heavy lifting right now.  Most notably, up until the last week or so she almost exclusively handled the bedtime duties – as we are starting to wean Luke, I have now taken over the night time duties. And to be perfectly honest, the only real thing that I think I do well as a father is act as Ms. Swan’s foil. 

I understand that children, especially toddlers, need consistency and certainly mom and dad need to be united in the way they handle certain issues (tantrums) that arise. But I think the most valuable thing I offer, and that any dad or partner can offer their mate is, where appropriate, being the antithesis of your partner.

Ms. Swan has been nurturing and been a lot closer to Lukas than I have.  This is true both physically and to a certain degree emotionally.  Though he sometimes calls out for Da-Da, make no mistake, he wants his Ma-Ma more.  And that is ok.  As a result, Ms. Swan is sometimes reluctant to let Lukas try new things and to trust him to not hurt himself.  I am not. It is not because I am lazy or inattentive – it is because I feel that in order for him to truly learn something, he needs the opportunity to try and fail without the aid of a safety net. For example, I have always let Lukas walk around outside and explore things on his own more regularly than Ms. Swan. No, I don’t let him just walk in the street, but if we are going to a store or walking a few blocks some place, I let him try to walk it himself, rather than carrying him.  As a result, he not only has good motor skills, but when we put him down to walk around he doesn’tjust run off as fast as he can – as if he is worried he may not get a chance to walk around outside again – he is more controlled and tends to simply walk along with us.

Another example is plates and silverware.  Several months ago I notice Lukas was being particularly picky with his meals.  Ms.Swan and I both thought he was being a picky eater, but I decided, without talking to Ms. Swan about it, to give him his food on an adult plate with a small, but metal, fork.  Clearly upped the danger a bit but I kept an eye on him.  And he actually ate a bit more.  I trusted him and we learned that the problem was not entirely the types of food that was offered to him, but that he wanted to eat more like his mom and dad.

Finally, sometimes I am the bad cop.  As a father, but really as a spouse, you need to be ready willing and able to say no to your child in situations where your spouse has difficulty saying no.  Every parent has certain things that we struggle with and it is the responsibility of your partner to help you with those moments. One example is bath time.  I have a hard time with bath time.  I don’t like fighting with him to take a bath and if it wasn’t for Ms. Swan putting up with his flailing and yelling, I think he would be one filthy kid.  Conversely, I am there for Ms. Cobb at the two moments when she feels the most guilty about making tough decisions for Lukas, in the morning and at bedtime. Though we have not had many tantrums in recent months at school, there was a time when Ms. Swan hated dropping him off because of how badly he cried.  And I hated it too.  But I knew that it was my job to bear the brunt of that horrible experience because every time Ms. Swan dropped him off and he cried, she cried and had serious doubts about her decision to keep working.  To force her to encounter this reminder of her tough decision every morning, before going to work, wasn’t fair to her. 

Similarly, we have started weaning Lukas and while Ms. Swan could continue the night time routine and just say no to Lukas’ request for milk, the resulting tantrums were taking a rather large emotional toll on the Swan's nest.  So in steps me, the bad cop,refusing milk and enduring the screams. I don’t like it and I wish I could just let him stay up or let him nurse, but it is my job to help Ms. Swan with this one.  So we rock, he cries, we read, he screams, he goes in the crib and I pretend to sleep on the floor.  It is a long, tough game, but it is getting better.  I know nursing has been, and will always be, a very special thing to Ms. Swan and that she misses it everyday.  This is the least I can do to help, since I don’t have boobs.

So was this a tip?  Idon’t know.  It might be common sense to most of you, but the thing I try to be most conscious of is looking at those things that my spouse struggles with the most, that cause her the most pain,the most mommy guilt, and I try to do that for her.  And so, for this Tuesday that is my advice to you, whether you are a dad or a mom.

TTT - Scar Minimizer

Last night I wondered what I was going to write for Toddler Tips Tuesday this week but didn't give it any serious thought since Tuesday was still two days away.  Then this morning I realized that no, today was in fact Tuesday.  And then I opened a picture my mom had sent me of Lukas from this weekend and my topic became clear.  Another practical tip for you - especially you moms of little boys who are likely to get many bumps, scrapes and bruises along the way!

As you may recall, my little man bumped his head a few weeks back and his "boo boo" required three stitches on his forehead.  Being the vain momma that I am, I was most concerned with the scar (after I was assured he was fine and didn't have a concussion, of course).  I asked the doctor if there was anything we could do to increase his odds of not having a scar and aside from the initial neosporin applications and maybe trying mederma for scars, she gave me a piece of advice I'd never heard. 

If you want to minimize a scar, be sure to keep the boo boo out of the sun - wear a hat or slather sunscreen over the scar.  Research has shown that the sun is a huge factor in whether or not a scar develops.  So every morning I attack Lukas with the sunscreen and reapply often when he's outside.  It'd be much easier if the little man would just wear a hat, but he's very finicky when it comes to hats and tends to hate them more than love them.

So far it seems to be working!  He has a little line above his eye, but it's not too noticeable and I'm hoping it is further minimized as the boo boo heals even more.

Also, as evidenced by this picture, my baby is now a little boy.  I'm going to go cry now.

TTT - Diaper Rash

Today's tip is on the practical, good to know side. I'm not sure how I learned this gem of knowledge, but it's helpful when your little one has a red, bumpy bum.

If you're combating diaper rash, rinse your wipes in water before wiping your little one's bottom. The water will reduce the sting that the wipe causes when your kiddo has a rash. And no sting = less/no crying, which is always a good thing in my book.

It works best to keep a bowl of water next to the changing table so you're not having to run to the sink during the changing. (warning: don't leave baby/toddler unattended on changing table!!!)

And, of course, load up on the diaper cream after using your rinsed wipes. My faves are Desitin Max and Aquaphor. I've heard great things about Triple Paste, but haven't used it myself. Or, I mean, on Lukas.
What diaper rash tips do you have??

TTT - Food Fights Begone

I'm not sure if anyone out there is getting anything from these Toddler Tips Tuesday posts, but as I've mentioned before this blogs serves as a virtual baby book/diary for me, so at least in the future I can look back on these posts and know what was going on with Lukas at any given point in time.  So when #2 comes along and is making me question my parenting skills I can pull up this blog and recall what it was that I did to help get us all through whatever stage the little man was wading through.

Well food and feeding the little guy continues to be a source of stress for me.  I first wrote about his love of mac n cheese (and nothing else) here about two months ago.  We still have some of the same issues - he refuses to eat certain foods that he loved the prior day for no apparent reason.  He's also picked up some new issues, which usually involve lots of crying and Mr. Cob and I looking at each other in confusion and having no idea what the problem is.

Well about two weeks ago Mr. Cob realized and solved one of the problems.  We were serving Lukas' food on plastic kid-friendly plates and he apparently wanted to eat off of our nice everyday (highly breakable) china.  He wouldn't even look at the broccoli on the blue plastic plate but would scarf it and everything else on the china plate down in a few gulps.  We then realized he also wanted to use grown up silverware and would kick and refuse to eat until we gave it to him.  I think he saw momma and dadda eating and wanted to eat just like us.  So if your kiddo is being a pill at dinner time, try switching out his eating utensils and dishes.  It just might do the trick!

Our pediatrician also gave us another tip at Lukas' 18 month appointment last week.  She said to try to eat dinner together as a family.  He'll be more likely to eat if he sees us sitting and eating with him.  We are not always good at eating together, but I have noticed that the days we sit with Lukas for dinner, he will actually eat more food.  Our doc also told us to stop making him special meals and to give him whatever it is that we are eating.  Make sure there is one thing you know he will eat on his plate (say cheese or bread) but otherwise just give him what we are eating and eventually he'll learn that he has to eat what is in front of him.  I am guilty of offering him twenty different choices at night in an effort to get him to eat something, anything.  But I've vowed to stop and know that he won't go hungry.

Combining all these tidbits, I was shocked to see my vegetarian kid eat chicken off a fork tonight at dinner! So hopefully you'll be able to use some of these tips to help de-stress dinnertime at your house!  Do you have any dinnertime tips that work for your toddler?  Any tips for me?

TTT - Teething

It may be late in the day, but it's still Tuesday.  So that means it's Toddler Tips Tuesday time.  Today's topic: Teething


My little man cut his first tooth at the young age of 4 months.  But I really shouldn't complain because my aunt's first child (my cousin) was born with a few teeth! Although, that might not be too bad since she missed out on the whole painful teething part of his getting teeth.  As any parent knows, teething can be rough on parents and kids.


We always know when Lukas is teething because a few things happen:  He starts drooling more than a bulldog, he puts everything in his mouth (more so than usual), he grinds his teeth, and my favorite, he starts biting his friends at school.  Yes, I have that kid.  And a new tooth always pops up within a day or two of the call from his school letting me know that my little guy was "hungry" that day. 


Thankfully Lukas only has two more teeth to cut (aside from his 2 year molars) and we've finally figured out some things that are helpful in dealing with the pain of teething.  (Although, cutting molars is awful and the month of December was rough for us, marked by not one full night sleep.  For any of us.  Lukas wound up in bed with us every night in December and the only thing that would comfort him was nursing.  So there's a plug for "prolonged" nursing if you're considering it.)


So what has helped us with those pesky pearly whites??


Teething Tablets - my favorite are Hylands - they dissolve on/under the tongue.  According to their website:  "Hyland’s Baby Teething Tablets provide a natural, homeopathic formula for symptoms of simple restlessness and wakeful irritability due to the cutting of teeth. It reduces pain, inflammation, fever, drooling and the discomfort of teething."  All I know is that the nights we use the tablets when he's teething, Lukas is calmer and has an easier time going to bed.  And he loves them - I think they're bubbly when they dissolve and it's a fun, new sensation for him.


I've tried another brand, Humphrey's and they worked well too.  My only complaint is that you have to dissolve the pellets in water and then apply the paste to the baby's gums.  This could be difficult for a baby who doesn't want anyone near his mouth!  But they work if you can't find the Hylands.


Advil - I think it works better than Tylenol for teething.  For one thing, it helps with inflammation and a dose lasts 8 hours rather than 6.  Of course, babies cannot use Advil until they are 6 months old and you should check with your doctor before using (remember, I'm just a mom and not a medical advice giver). 


Mesh Teething Food Bags - You can fill them with ice or frozen fruit and your kiddo can suck on the frozen food/ice which helps to numb their gums.  I think the pressure against the gums combined with the cold helps make their gums feel better.  Lukas loves to chew on frozen strawberries and ice.  You can find the mesh bags on amazon.com or at Target.

I rarely use orajel - it seems to be too controversial these days, so I stayed away from it, though I have some friends who swear by it.  I've also heard of freezing a bagel and letting your kid gnaw on that, or freezing a wet wash clothe for them to chew on.  Really, anything to help relieve the pressure should help the pain.

And luckily, once the tooth cuts the surface the worst is behind you!

What have you found that works when your kid is teething?  Any products you love/swear by?

TTT - Toys R Us

Warning.

If you need to go to Toys R US, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, bring your toddler. It will be a disaster.

And instead of getting the one thing you went to purchase (a bike helmet so a certain toddler would be safe being pulled behind our bike in his buggy), you will end up with something else. And said something else will likely be more expensive than what you were planning on buying.

In this case, the object of desire was a bike for said toddler.

He lost his mind when we carted him past the bike aisle. (Sneaky how Toys R Us makes you pass the bike aisle and every other expensive -toy-aisle to get to the back of the store where they keep the bike helmets.) He tried to climb out of the cart and was screaming bike over and over again AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS.

Other parents were gawking. Why couldn't we keep control of our kid?

And if going in the store wasn't mistaken enough, we thought we could make the situation "better" by letting him sit on one of the tricycles. You know, get it out of his system.

Bad idea. Rookie mistake.

Meltdown 2.0 ensued when we tried to pry him off the bike.

So we may or may not have bought the bike.

But then he continued to cry the whole ride home because a toddler does not comprehend that the bike needs to ride in the trunk on the way home. And then he cried for an hour as daddy put the bike together.

But finally he was able to ride his bike. He loved it! And then he wouldn't get off the bike.

So consider yourself warned. And avoiding bringing your toddler with you to Toys R Us at all costs. Your pocketbook will thank you.

TTT - Make a Friend

My Toddler Tip for this Tuesday is more of a mom tip than a toddler tip.  So forgive me.  But take my advice.

Find some like-minded-mom friends and get together with them often.

When you birth that sweet little baby, your life changes.  The pregnant woman and the new mom who emerges from the delivery room are two different people.  At least for me they were.  And as much as you tell yourself that you won't let having a child change you, it does.  So don't fight it.

But that also means that your friendships might change. If you're lucky, you'll have a close friend who gives birth around the same time as you, so you can talk about poop together.  But if not, make a new mom friend.  And don't be shy about it.  Don't let your insecurities get in the way of striking up a conversation at the park or at daycare drop off or in the diaper aisle at Target.  

Having a network of mom friends is a mom's saving grace.

And if you're a working mom, find some other career-driven mommas and befriend them.  You may think they don't have time to add a new friend to their already busy schedule, but odds are that if they're a working mom, then they're pretty good at the juggling act.  And while I don't know from experience, I'm guessing SAHMs find  solace in mom-friends just as much as working moms.  Middle of the day play dates anyone?

If you're lucky, you'll find some working mom girlfriends who will meet you after work for a glass of wine and help you solve the problems in "your world" while the kids are still playing at daycare.  It's open until 7pm for a reason!

Being a mom can be a hard job.  Having other women to help you through it is crucial.  They'll make you feel better about your kid being the biter of the bunch when they share that their kid throws things.  They'll give you a hard time about giving in to your toddler's demand for "momma milk" while reassuring you that you'll know when you're ready to stop nursing.  And best of all, they'll laugh with you through the journey.

So the next time you have an opportunity to make a new mom friend, get over yourself and say hello.  You just might make a life-long friend.

TTT: Stay Dry

This is a simple tip.  And one that most parents might already know, but recently I had a friend say she'd never heard of this, so maybe it's not a well known thing.  If you don't use them already, I suggest going out and buying these before night night tonight:

Nighttime diapers.

I don't know how they magically keep your kid drier than regular diapers, but they do.  And a dry kid = longer sleep at night for the kiddo.  Longer sleep at night for the kiddo = more sleep for momma.  More sleep for momma = happier momma.  Happier momma = happier household.  Am I right?

I've used the Huggies nighttime diapers and the Pampers nighttime diapers and they both seem to work about the same.  I've even found that Lukas will take longer naps on the weekend if I remember to put a nighttime diaper on him before his nap.

So give them a try if you don't already use them and let me know how they work.  Does your kid sleep longer?  Here's hoping!

TTT - Snap To It

Just about every week I put some piece of clothing on Lukas only to realize it's way too small and in the  bin for future babies it goes.  And then there are the other times, like last month, when I bought my 16 month old little guy a pair of 18 month shorts (figuring he is closer to 18 months than 12 months at this point), only to have them fall down to his ankles.  Talk about pants on the ground.

It seems that kids clothing sizes are all over the board and you never really know whether something is going to fit.  Perhaps some of y'all are more patient than I am and you actually try the clothes on your kid before you buy them.  But not this momma.  I have a secret weapon when it comes to making pants and shorts fit my bambino.

The Dapper Snapper.

It's a "belt" for kids.  And it is magical.  Check it out here.  I found them on Babysteals.com so you might be able to find them on sale, but I would buy them at full price in a heart beat!

My dapper dude