Maybe Babies do Self-Wean

Julian turned 9 months a week or so ago.  At his 9 month checkup my suspicions were confirmed: he's a tiny little thing.  He's only in the 3rd percentile for weight (16.64 pounds) but 75th for height.  He's tall and skinny (he certainly doesn't get that from me!)   The doctor isn't concerned about his weight because he's continuing to grow on the same curve, but it's a little unsettling as his momma to hear he's so teeny!!!  More on that later.

Julian has 4 teeth (no new ones in a month), but he seems to be teething again.  I'm thinking the other top middle tooth is about to emerge.  Thankfully he doesn't seem too distressed about the teeth coming in - he's really an all around easy-going baby. 

 

Last night was the third night in a row that he slept all night, so I'm hoping we're on to something.  I am really ready for consistently full nights of sleep myself and I know he needs the sleep as well.  He and Lukas are still sharing a room even though we're at my parents' house - we thought about separating them, and have plenty of room to do so, but Lukas seems to like his brother in the room and they don't wake each other up so we're going to roll with it for now.  J has two lovies he sleeps with - a lion and a little bear and has totally stopped taking a pacifier (the first picture above is actually a teether!)



 

J is such a sweet little guy - and so happy. He lights up when his daddy walks in the room and adores his big brother.  His arms and legs start flailing when he sees either of them and he grins from ear to ear!

He's crawling and cruising around furniture and has just started standing without holding on to anything.  He can stand for about 5 seconds before realizing he's not attached to anything at which point he gets scared and falls down or reaches to steady himself.  I think he'll start walking any day now! 

He's eating any and everything and has a big appetite!  Last night for dinner he ate an slice of quiche and a cup of yogurt!  If you are eating around him, he'll make it known that he expects you to share!

The biggest news with J is that as of this week he's no longer nursing, which has been a hard decision for me but an easy one for him.  Julian has never been a big fan of nursing - he never comfort nursed and he refused to nurse unless he was really hungry.  For the past month or so he's been consistently less and less interested.  I would try to nurse him and he would stop after only a minute or two and push away from me.  He was done.  But I kept thinking it was too soon.  Everything you read says that babies do not self wean before a year. I nursed Lukas until he was 19 MONTHS!  So stopping at 9 months with Julian was not the plan.  But as I am continuing to learn, even though the boys look like twins, they are two very different children.  And I'm also having to remind myself that I'm not a bad mommy for doing things one way with Lukas and another way with Julian.  (Of course you knew there would be guilt, there is always guilt....).

So what was the final straw that pushed me over the edge?  This past weekend J woke up from a nap and I nursed him, a good 4-5 minutes which is actually long for him these days.  Afterwards I was holding him while I sorted empty bottles for daycare the next day and J started going nuts.  He was flailing his arms and reaching for the bottle, clearly wanting it.  So I filled it up with 6 ounces of formula to see if he'd drink it.  He did.  Plus 2 more ounces.  The kid was hungry.  Apparently he wasn't getting what he needed from me even when he was nursing.  So after some more guilt over the fact that my milk may not have been adequate for him (remember how tiny he is?  is that my fault?!?), I made the decision to listen to my little guy and stop nursing him.  Tuesday morning I nursed him for less than one minute before he pushed me away and I thought that'd be the last time.  He didn't ask to nurse or paw at my shirt the next two days, but he rarely ever had in the last 9 months - he just wasn't a big fan of the whole thing.  I think he is just too busy to stop and nurse in a dark room with his momma.  And don't even get me started on trying to nurse him under a nursing cover!  He'd rather drink a bottle in the kitchen and watch his big brother play.  Damn social second kids!

Last night I was giving him a bottle before bed and he was falling asleep as he drank.  He stopped taking the bottle and curled up on my chest with his eyes fluttering.  I convinced myself that he was asking to nurse (he wasn't), so for one last time, sitting in the white wicker chair with the purple cushion in the guest room of my parents house, I nursed him and drank in the sight and smell of my baby boy who is growing up much too quickly for my liking.  I have tears in my eyes now as I write that.  Nursing is such an emotional experience for me and I'm a bit heartbroken to be stopping, but I know he's ready.  I don't care what any La Leche follower says.  My boy was done, and as a result, so am I.  Now I just hold on to hope that my hormones don't come crashing down around me in a sea of post-weaning depression.

What's up with the Helmet?

It occurred to me the other day that I haven't written about Julian's helmet experience and some folks may not know why he is wearing it.  So let me tell you all about plagiocephaly and torticollis, which are Julian's two diagnoses.

J was born in July and all was well.  A week before his two month pediatrician appointment my mom asked me if I'd noticed the flat spot on Julian's head.  I brushed her off (and admittedly was annoyed that she even mentioned it - my child was perfect in my mind and I thought she didn't know what she was talking about).  I took a good look at the back of his head and realized that it was a tad flat but figured it would work out on its own.  Fast forward a week to his pediatrician appointment.  I didn't mention the flat spot (since I didn't think it was an "issue"), but sure enough, the pediatrician did.  She said it was a little concerning, and asked me if he looked both left and right or if he favored one side.  I hadn't noticed.  But from that moment forward, I realized that he ONLY looked to the left.  He was always favoring the left side and I couldn't get him to look all the way to the right.  Sigh.  Why is it that we don't notice things until someone points them out and then that is all we notice? How was it possible that I hadn't realized that he was doing this? Well the pediatrician gave us some simple exercises to do daily and said we'd reevaluate his head at his 4 month well visit.

2 months later and I knew that his head hadn't improved.  If anything, the flat spot was getting worse and his forehead was bulging out on one side a bit (that sounds worse that it was...it looked like he had a bump on his forehead., ok, so maybe it was bad).  So I wasn't exactly surprised when our pediatrician referred us to Children's Healthcare of Atlanta to see an orthotist for his plagiocephaly (fancy name for flat head syndrome) to see if Julian was a good fit for Cranial Remolding.   

We went to CHOA a week later for Julian's initial scans which measure the diagonal length difference of his head as well as his ear position.  The normal range for the diagonal length is 0-6mm.  His measurement was 13.6mm which put him in the "moderate to severe" category.  We also learned that his ears were very asymmetrical, with one being further forward than the other. (Again, how had I not noticed this?!?) So they recommended we order a helmet and go forward with the cranial remolding.  We were told that we could wait and see if the flat spot corrected itself as he started sleeping on his stomach and spending less time on his back, but that they see the best results the earlier you begin and his time in the helmet should be minimized the earlier we begin.  I hesitated for a moment (to cry), but Mr. Cob and I decided to go ahead and proceed.  CHOA uses the Star Band brand of helmets, so we were able to choose a fun design for his helmet.  We decided that Julian's big brother would think the spaceships were neat so we went with the outer space themed helmet.


About to get scanned!

2 weeks later Julian's custom made helmet arrived and we met with Sara our orthotist to have it fitted (his head grew in the 2 weeks between the scans and the arrival of the helmet so they had to make adjustments).  He gradually worked up to wearing the helmet 23 hours a day over 4 days.  The first day I think he wore it for 2 hours, the next for 4, the next for 8, and then 16.  So now he wears it all day, every day, except for one hour in the evening when we give him a bath and clean the helmet.  So yes, he sleeps in the helmet.  He wasn't a great sleeper to begin with, so I'm not sure the helmet has made his sleep worse, but it certainly hasn't helped.

We go every 2 weeks for adjustments.  They make sure he doesn't have any "hot spots" and that his skin is not getting irritated from the helmet.  It keeps his head pretty hot and sweaty so we've had some issues with rashes, but it's nothing a little diaper cream won't fix.  They also told us to rub his head down in coconut oil to prevent any yeast infections from growing, so he often smells of coconut, which is better than the sweaty smell (and the diaper cream smell for that matter).  I'm told that we should be thankful that he's not wearing the helmet in the summer, because then he'd always be sweating and no amount of cleaning gets rid of that smell!  We clean the helmet every night with rubbing alcohol or his baby shampoo and a toothbrush (we were told we could try witchhazel which might help the smell even more, but haven't tried it yet).  It's a pain, but it's become part of our nightly routine.  I won't miss it when we're done though.


Hot spot - time for adjustments!

Every 6 weeks we go for progress scans.  He's almost had the helmet for 10 weeks, so we've gone for one progress scan so far (our next is February 28!).  His measurement went from 13.6mm to 6.4mm!  So we are 0.4mm away from being in the normal range!!!  You could tell the head shape was improving just by looking at his head when the helmet is off, but the scans confirmed this!  We're hoping he only has 2.5 more weeks in the helmet, but our orthotist didn't make any promises - it's possible he'll need to wear it longer, but maybe only at night while he sleeps rather than all day.  I'll be glad when we can say good bye to the helmet, but I'm so glad we went forward with it and didn't wait until he was any older.  If anyone else gets referred to an orthotist for cranial remolding, I would definitely recommend it, despite the cost and the fact that many insurances won't cover the expense.  Julian's head is almost round now and I am so surprised how quickly we've seen an improvement.  Apparently when they are so young, they grow quickly which causes the head to remold quickly as well. 


6 week scans - IMPROVEMENT!

While it was scary at first, this has been a very positive experience, and very few people have made comments about the helmet.  A man working at Costco is the only person who stopped me and asked why the baby was wearing a helmet.  He was very nice, but he honestly had no earthly idea why J was wearing the helmet.  Most people just stare and smile.  Some people just stare.  And that's OK.  I think they're just curious.  Little kids are the best - they come right out and ask about the helmet and ask me all about it.  Lukas' 3 year old classmates ask me all the time why Julian is wearing the helmet, it's very cute.  And I don't mind at all if people ask me about it - I'd rather you ask than wonder!  You can read more about cranial remolding here.

So that's half the story.  The other half is the torticollis, which often accompanies plagiocephaly but doesn't always and can occur without the flat head.  Torticollis "is a condition in which an infant's neck muscle is shortened causing the neck to twist."  More on torticollis here.  So we were referred to physical therapy to help stretch Julian's neck and correct his head tilt.  (Again, I never noticed the head tilt, but the physical therapist assured me his head tilted.  Great.).  So we were given 3 different stretch exercises to do with Julian 3 times a day - we fit this in in the morning before school/work, right when we got home from school and right before bed.  We were very strict about doing the exercises each day and within a week noticed a difference.  Within a month we could tell he was looking both ways and moving his neck with more ease.  At his follow up PT appointment a month ago, we were told his neck was doing great and that we didn't need to keep doing the exercises.  So thankfully that corrected quickly.

So what caused the flat head and tight neck?  No one has come out and said for sure - it's possible it started in the womb if he was in a tight position where his head was kinked.  There has been a rise in flat heads with the "back to sleep campaign" - SIDS has gone done (good), but flat heads have gone up (not great, but better than SIDS...) because babies are spending so much time on their backs.  I may not have done enough tummy time with Julian when he was first born and admittedly he was in his car seat often as we went about our day (he's a second child after all, so I wasn't nervous about getting out and about while he was little).  I've not dwelled on the why.  Thankfully it's nothing permanent and before long will be a thing of the past and J won't ever remember this time in his life.  So that's the deal with the helmet!  If you have any questions, don't be shy!

J Bird @ 6.5 months

JULIAN @ 6 months, 3 weeks & 1 day

Weight: roughly 15 pounds or so.  At his 4 month appointment he was only 13.34 pounds and at his 6 month appt he was just shy of the 15 pound mark and only in the 5th-10th percentile for weight.  He's a tiny lil thing, just like Lukas was at that age.

Height: No clue, but I think he's on the taller side...

Head size:  No clue, but it's less flat than it was 8 weeks ago when he started wearing the helmet!   Again, no clue how many inches it is

Drinks: He's averaging 3 5-6 ounce bottles at school and then I nurse him 2-3 more times a day.  And since we're back to co-sleeping this week he's also eating all night long.  Oh and he gets formula sometimes, and I'm 100% OK with that.  I refused to give Lukas formula and totally stressed myself out trying to produce/pump enough milk for him but this time I decided that some formula won't hurt Julian and it helps reduce my stress level, so we're going with that when need be.  I'm still pumping 3x a day at work, but I usually only pump between 10-12 ounces total over the course of the day so often he gets one full formula bottle.  La Leche League be damned.

Eats: 3 "solid" food meals a day.  And by solid I mean baby food.  We started with rice cereal around Christmas mixed with formula (because I wasn't wasting that precious liquid gold breastmilk, no sir).  Then we moved to Oatmeal and a little later to baby food.  Sweet potatoes, carrots, green beans, peas (which he hates), bananas, mangos and maybe blueberries too.  I have made some of his food myself but for the most part he's eating Gerber.  Again, just trying to keep the stress to a minimum.  Ain't nobody got time for making baby food when store bought will do.

Sleeps: 2-3 naps a day.  Sometimes these naps are long, other times they are short.  His night time sleep is all over the place.  We had sleep trained him and he was sleeping all night long but then he got sick about a week ago and is back to waking up between 12-3am, at which point he comes in bed with me and nurses on and off until morning.  We need to have round 2 of sleep training now that he's feeling better.  He goes to bed around 8pm every night and gets up between 6:30-7:30.  He also sleeps with a lovey - a lion blanket - that Miss Katie gave him.  And J takes a pacifier in his crib - we leave a few in his crib and he finds them when he wants one.

Other stuff that only family will find interesting: He rolls from front to back and back to front.  He loves tummy time and pretty much always rolls onto his stomach immediately if you lay him on his back.  He loves to stand up either in his exersaucer, doorway jumper or just on mommy or daddy.  He can lift himself up onto all fours and is good at scooting backwards, but not so much forwards.  He seems very interested in the cat and dog - petting Wrigley when she's close by and staring at the cat in awe.  He's a very smiley guy and has a generally happy disposition.  [THIS IS THE EXACT THING I WROTE ABOUT LUKAS AT THIS AGE, AND IT ALL APPLIES, EXCEPT FOR THE GETTING ON ALL FOURS THING.  THEY REALLY ARE VERY MUCH ALIKE!]  Julian does roll across the room and can get wherever he needs to go via the roll and rotate method. 

Oh, and Julian LOVES his big brother Lukas.  He lights up when Lukas talks.  He cranes his neck to watch him.  If we're nursing and Lukas enters the room, Julian immediately pulls off and looks to see what his big bro is up to.  It's really quite adorable.

Talks: J is a loud one!  He is often blowing raspberries or muttering about something. It's cute.

Teeth: His two bottom center teeth are starting to poke through as of today!!!

Hair: Blondish-red.  I think he'll end up being blonde, but it looks to have a red tint in certain light.

Eyes:  Blue/grey. Sometimes they look hazel like his daddy.

Clothes: He's wearing size 6 month - he doesn't fill them out width wise, but he's almost busting through the seams length wise.  He can fit in a lot of 9 month clothes as well.

Personality:  Happy and social!  He loves the ladies and is a big flirt.  He likes to cuddle, but is also a busy boy.  I thought Lukas was a cheerful baby but Julian has him beat.  He really is such a little love.

Julian's Birth Story

My littlest baby, Julian, turned 3 months old a few weeks ago.  So I figure it's high time I jot down his birth story before I forget it....

So going back in time to Friday, July 12.  I went to work that day expecting to go back to work the following Monday.  I was only 39 weeks and 3 days at that point.  Lukas was born at 40 weeks plus 3 days so I figured I might as well get comfortable.  I even had Mr. Cob snap a picture of my growing belly that night.

39 weeks + 3 day belly

We woke up Saturday morning and went about our day.  We did something for breakfast, donuts maybe?  (See I'm already forgetting).  And then we went to the bank.  I decided I should probably cook some food to freeze for after the baby arrived so we then headed off to the Farmers Market.  I didn't really want to go but we'd already made the fatal mistake of mentioning the farmers market to Lukas so there was no way we weren't going after that.  So off we went.  It was at some point in the late morning that I noticed the contractions.  Nothing painful.  Nothing consistent.  On we went with our day.

Our good friends' son was having his first birthday party that afternoon so after cooking a few meals in the early afternoon we headed over for the party.  Sitting in the car I realized the contractions were somewhat timeable.  About every 7-8 minutes.  I was still unconvinced.

I spent all afternoon chatting with friends at the party and watching Lukas and his friends play, so I didn't really notice the contractions.  But on the car ride home (around 6:30pm) they began again.  Every 7 or so minutes again.  We got home and put Lukas to bed and I figured I'd cook the rest of my freezer meals in an effort to distract myself.  Finally around 9pm, with contractions hanging around every 7 minutes, we decided to call my parents to give them a heads up and said they could come over if they wanted.  My mom said there's no way she could sleep now knowing the real thing might be happening, so they decided to head over. 

They arrived a little after 10pm.  Mom helped me finish making enchiladas while dad and Mr. Cob watched TV.  Lukas continued snoozing away, unaware that anything was happening.  The contractions were about 6 minutes apart but not painful.  I took a bath at one point to relax and thought about laying down for a bit but everyone else was more concerned than I was and around midnight Mr. Cob convinced me to call my OB.  My OB said that I could head to the hospital at any time, but it sounded to her like things were happening!  I was still not convinced.  (Sidenote, I LOVE my OB.  As in, may have another baby just to hang out with her on a regular basis again.  Even though I had clearly woken her up from a deep sleep, she chatted with me on the phone for 10 minutes, at midnight, about how excited she was that my little boy was finally coming.  I mean, really, she is Fabulous!)

So at that point I decided to actually pack a hospital bag and we left around 2am for Northside.  Eerily it was the same time we went to the hospital for Lukas' birth.  I was convinced we were in for a long labor (remember Lukas wasn't born until almost 3pm the next day).  And I still wasn't even uncomfortable.  I thought we'd get to the hospital and be turned back for a false alarm.  Before I go any further I need to make note of what has now become one of my favorite parts of being in labor - the car ride to the hospital with my husband.  We are both so giddy and excited and we sing very loudly to fun music.  It's just a burst of fun before the "labor" part of labor begins.

We arrive at the hospital and a sweet security guard asks if I need a wheelchair.  I do not.  (I'm still convinced this isn't happening).  We check in and wait for the nurse to take us back to our room.  We get in our room (one without a window) and I get hooked up to the fetal monitor.  In case I didn't mention it with Lukas, the fetal monitor is one of the most uncomfortable parts about the whole thing.  They wrap a band tightly around your gigantic belly and the thing is so tight it leaves marks.  I hate it.  Anyway, she checked my progress (about 2-3 cm) and confirmed that the contractions were about 6 minutes apart, so we were staying.  The real deal had truly begun!

Then the nurse left and said she'd be back and to try to rest.  Mr. Cob passed out on the "sofabed" and I got a little sleep myself.  I could only get comfortable on my side though, and they lost the baby's heartbeat every time I laid on my side so eventually around 6am I had to turn back over.  I was still in no pain at this point.  I noticed the contractions but didn't have to breathe through them or anything.

Here I am after my night's "sleep"....

And here's Mr. Cob...ha

At 6:30 the nurse came in to say my OB wanted to start me on pitocin since nothing was really progressing. I asked if we could give it 30 more minutes to see if things would pick up on their own. She agreed. Nothing progressed. So they started the pitocin. (Which, if you're keeping score, I'm now 2 for 2 on the pit front. Oh well.) Around this point someone checked me and I was like 3 cm, so not much progress.

My OB came in around 8:30 to check on things. The pitocin had made the contractions pick up in timing, but they still weren't of the painful variety.  She checked me and said I was closer to 4cm.  She then broke my water.  Now, let's talk about this for a second.  I had thought I felt some leaking before the big water breaking event, but chalked it up to wishful thinking.  Well after the water breaking (the big gush variety), which took her some time (we think his head was really low and was preventing the water from breaking on its own), things started to pick up.  As in I went from totally cool and in no pain to having to breathe through the contractions and really concentrate in the span of 30 minutes.  By 9:30am I was in some serious pain, but still breathing through.  By 9:45am I lost my mind and was screaming for drugs.

The anesthesiologist was called and on his way.  This did not change the fact that I completely lost it from about 9:45am -10am.  The pain was too intense.  My nurse (Katherine Hill, who just happens to have the same name as my BFF) was INCREDIBLE.  And so was Mr. Cob.  If it wasn't for them I'm not sure I could've made it through that 30 minute span before the doc gave me the epidural.  It was rough.  The contractions were very intense and very close together.  I do think the hypnobirthing techniques I learned with Lukas (and practiced during my nightly meditations before bed this go around) helped keep the pain at bay for as long as it did and helped me somewhat breathe through the really bad contractions.

Finally the doc with the goods arrived to get rid of the pain.

But I lost it again when he was there because the mere thought of a needle in my spine sends me over the edge.  Thankfully he was quick and painless (seriously, the insertion of the epidural did NOT hurt).  And within 5 minutes the pain was gone completely.  BUT, the pressure started before the anesthesiologist even left the room.  The pressure down there.  You know, there there.  I mentioned it to the nurse and the anesthesiologist and they just figured it was nothing. 

Well it wasn't nothing.  Thirty minutes later (about 11am) the nurse was back to check me.  I looked at her like she was crazy because I knew nothing had happened since the last time I was checked.  Wrong.  Ten centimeters baby!  It was time to go.  (Sidenote:  if there is a baby #3, and I'm not saying there will be, I will ask to be checked once more before getting the epidural.  Looking back, I think I was probably in transition when I got the epidural.  I am not crazy or against the epidural, but if I'd known the finish line was so close, I think I would have opted to skip the epidural ONLY because it took seemingly forever to wear off this time and I couldn't walk for hours after delivering J.)  So at eleven am I was ready to go but my OB was not there.  The nurse called to tell her it was time, like N.O.W.

So my OB arrived around 11:15 and got set up.  And when she was ready I started pushing.  (We need another sidenote at this point.  There were only 4 people in the room for the pushing this time: my OB, Katie Hill the nurse, my hubby and me.  With Lukas there was about 12 people in the room.  Seriously.  The was meconium when my water broke so the neonatal care team was brought in.  I hadn't realized with Lukas that if there are no reasons to suspect complications, there are very few people in the room.  I much preferred only having 3 spectators!)  So back to the pushing.  I pushed three, maybe four times and out he came.

It's true what they say, your heart simply expands and you truly can love another child as much as your first.  I did not believe this until I saw Julian for the first time.  We are truly blessed to have him in our lives and it's hard to think of our family before him.  It simply feels like he has always been a part of it.

Julian Rhys

Welcome Julian

I am so happy to announce that Lukas' little brother, JULIAN RHYS arrived Sunday July 14th.  He weighed in at 8 pounds 6 ounces (6 ounces bigger than his big bro) and was 21 inches long (1 inch longer than Luke). He arrived 2 days before his due date, which I was very thankful for.  I'll give the details of his arrival at another time, for all you wondering if I went au natural or got shot up with drugs!

Lukas is smitten with his little brother and frequently comes over to tickle his feet and pet his head.  If Julian is crying Lukas comes over and says so sweetly "it's ok Julian" and often comes to sit next to me when I'm feeding Julian.  He kisses his head and knees often and says "I love you Julian" all on his own without any prompting from us.  I really think he loves his brother and is excited he is out of mommy's tummy. 

Lukas came to the hospital the day Julian was born and his daddy introduced him to his little brother.  (I'll share that sweet video whenever we get it uploaded.)  But the most hilarious part about the introduction was that right after meeting Julian, Lukas looks at me and asks, in all seriousness, "Where's my little sister?"  And every day since then he has asked when his little sister will be here and if she's going to come out of mommy's tummy!  So it appears that he really likes this big brother gig and is ready for more siblings!  I think mommy needs a little time before we entertain that thought...

And now for some pictures of our two guys side by side - do you think they look alike?  I feel like they are identical!  Who is who???

Do you think they look alike?

Lukas or Julian?

And one more side by side...who is who???

I'll load some more pictures soon.  We're so in love!!!