I grew up in a "healthy" house. My mother put time and effort in to cooking healthy meals for our family and she was probably ahead of her time on the health front. I remember eating artichokes as a snack when I was a child and dinner was always a family affair. Candy and sodas were a treat, not the norm.
I swam competitively until my senior year in high school so I didn't have to worry about my weight for the first 17 years of my life. I ate anything I wanted and never put on weight (swimming 2-4 hours a day will do this). I grazed (a word I still hate to this day). I nibbled and snacked often. My body needed the fuel to push me through intense workouts.
Then I went off to college and ate dining hall food, followed by sorority house food and then began cooking for myself at 20. I worked out in college but don't remember having many body issues. (Then again, I drank a lot of wine, so maybe I just don't remember. I also smoked cigarettes - a lot - more than I care to admit, but I mention that here to emphasize that "health" was not at the forefront of my mind during this time.) It wasn't until law school that I really recall feeling like I could not lose weight. I remember telling my girlfriends that no matter what I did I simply could not get under 130 pounds. So I began running and doing yoga. But I continued to eat the same - often eating out in downtown Athens, picking up fast food and eating a lot of Chex-mix from the law school's vending machine. Running helped my mood and mental state during law school, but the weight didn't budge.
I began working as a lawyer in the fall of 2007 and the weight started creeping up. No longer was 130 the number I couldn't get under. I was now struggling to get under 140. (I should note that I'm 5'4.) My clothes were no longer fitting the same. I felt less than sexy and found myself constantly worrying about how I looked and felt. My first step was to hire a personal trainer at my gym, but instead of losing weight he just bulked me up and we didn't even talk about nutrition. He and I quickly parted ways.
Then I signed up for Boot Camp at my gym. I also became engaged to my now husband and was trying to lose weight for our upcoming wedding. So I worked out at least an hour a day and was very conscious of my food intake (from a caloric standpoint, not a health standpoint). The exercise, strict 1200 calorie diet, stress of planning a wedding and working as a lawyer did cause me to lose weight and I was at my lowest weight in a long time when I got married. But I stopped working out on our honeymoon and indulged in decadent food and drink. I didn't return to boot camp when we got home and a 1200 calories/day diet is not sustainable in the long run. The pounds crept back on quickly.
Six months after our wedding I joined a nutrition program (Venice Nutrition) and met with a nutritionist once a week. The program was centered on increasing your protein intake. I was eating more protein bars than you could imagine. I lost maybe 2 pounds in a couple of weeks. It was discouraging. And costly. So we parted ways.
Eventually I just went back to running and training for another half marathon. Running kept me fit but didn't give me the
Then in the winter of 2010 I became pregnant. I was overjoyed. I could stop worrying about losing weight. But I wanted to be healthy for the baby so I began reading as many books about prenatal health that I could get my hands on. I must have about 20 books on being pregnant. Seriously. I committed to eating healthy and working out during my pregnancy.
But I failed to carry out my good intentions. Most days I was too exhausted after work to exercise, though I did try to walk a few days a week. I was constantly hungry while pregnant and didn't plan accordingly, so I wound up getting a snack many days from the food court below my office building. The week before Lukas was born I weighed 202 pounds. So yes, that means we're talking over 60 pounds gained in less than 9 months. (I do think part of my weight gain was genetics - my mom gained over 50 pounds with each of her pregnancies and I put on weight each week even if I walked 5 miles every day and only ate very healthy. But I'll admit that there were many choices I could have made differently that would probably have had an effect on my weight gain.)
I loved being a mom more than anything I'd ever experienced. But I hated the way I looked and felt after my son was born. I remember going to Target when he was maybe 3 weeks old because I needed some pants to wear around the house. I cried in the dressing room when the LARGE black sweat pants were too tight. Way too tight. But I had to wear something, so I purchased the Extra Large sweat pants. And then I signed up for Weight Watchers.
I didn't start seriously following WW until Lukas was about four months old. And I didn't work out regularly. But I was nursing and the weight slowly started coming off. When Lukas was 9 months old, I had lost almost all of the baby weight. I do think Weight Watchers helped because I was writing down everything I put into my mouth, so it made me aware of what I was eating. But then I stalled around 142. No matter what I did, I seemed to hang around this number. I started working out again. No change. I strictly followed weight watchers. No change. It seemed that I was bound to stay somewhat flabby and less than enthused about my post-baby body.
But then I started really looking at what I was (and wasn't eating) and the exercise I was getting (or not getting). Most days I ate only 2-3 fruits and vegetables. I was consuming a lot of sugar. We were eating out many meals a week. And I wasn't working out regularly. Something finally clicked and I realized that I was in control of my body and what I put into it and what I did with it. I wasn't destined to feel frumpy. I was destined to feel however good I chose to feel. It was on me. No more excuses. If I wanted to change, then I had to change what I was doing. I also made the decision to be HEALTHY. I was less worried about the number on the scale and more concerned with leading a healthy life for myself and my family.
Running had never given me the body I wanted. So I realized that signing up for another half marathon might get me in shape, but it wouldn't give me the end result I was looking for. I needed to switch up my workout routine. On a whim I decided to try Insanity. And it has been amazing. I feel powerful and energetic.
But I think the reason I've managed to lose over 8 pounds in less than 2 months is because of the change in my diet. I didn't set out with the intention of "clean eating" but as I've gone along these past few months, I've done a lot of research and reading and realized that eating clean is something I can sustain and do without feeling like I am sacrificing anything. It is not a diet. It is a way of eating and living.
I started by making simple changes. I eliminated sugar from my coffee. I read EVERY food label and ingredient before I buy a food. If there is an ingredient I can't pronounce, I don't buy the food. I buy mostly unprocessed food and shop on the perimeter of the grocery store. But the perhaps the biggest change is that I PLAN AHEAD. I go to the grocery store with a list. On Sunday I plan out what we're eating every night for dinner AND what I will bring to work for lunch every day. Each morning I spend the extra ten minutes to pack lunch AND snacks for my day at the office so that I am never unprepared at work when hunger strikes. And I eat breakfast every single day.
In the next post I'll talk more about my strategies for clean eating, but I hope this post gives you some insight into why I finally decided to make a change.
Have you struggled with losing weight? What has worked for you?
