Smile Big!

When Did This Happen?

As I walked passed the Crate & Barrel storefront I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the store window and had to do a double take.  Who was this woman in a dress and high heels pushing a baby in a stroller?  I recognized the dress and high heels part; my everyday outfit pre-baby.  But the stroller and baby part made me stop in my tracks.  I had one of those "when did this happen" moments? 

It feels like yesterday that I was a college student living in the sorority house juggling drinking and studying, nary a care in the world.  A lot has changed since then and I'm not that same woman anymore.  She's definitely a part of my life and has shaped me into the person I am today, but thankfully, she and I are no longer the same person.

Somewhere along the way I grew up.  I suppose at some point we all do.

I can't pinpoint an exact time when this happened.  It's been gradual and the icing on the cake was probably having a baby.  The day Lukas was born was the day I stopped being selfish and putting myself before everything else.  He had to come first.  And I've learned a lot about myself and changed a lot since he was born.

I'm no longer timid about speaking my mind, especially when it comes to my son.  Before Lukas, if I was concerned about a situation or feeling like something was off, my typical reaction was to just let it slide.  Someone else would take care of it, I'd rationalize.  I didn't want to be the source of trouble.  But in the past two months, I've found myself picking up the phone to call Lukas' school and express my concerns about one situation and walking into to the administrator's office to speak directly about another.  Two things I would have gotten extremely nervous about before.  But now I didn't hesitate at all, even though Mr. Cob at first was concerned that I was becoming "that parent".  It is my responsibility to protect Lukas and speak up for him, since he cannot.  That is my job as his mother.

I have also found that I'm not quite as narcissistic or self conscious since becoming a mother.  I'm that person who always look at myself in anything resembling a mirror.  It's a bad habit I picked up along the way.  I generally care about how I look and try to present myself as nicely as possible in public.  But I also used to really care about the number on the scale and feel somewhat self conscious in a bathing suit.  While I still tend check myself out in windows, elevator doors and picture frame glass, I don't have such a critical eye anymore.  I definitely don't have the same toned body I once did, but when we go to the pool now, while I don't sport my tiny bikini, I do wear my tankini proudly and not give a second thought to the size of my thighs.  I figure I have this adorable, healthy little boy that people are looking at instead of me anyway.  I'm also proud and amazed at what my body has done in the past year.  So while I do still want to tone up and lose a few more pounds, I'm at a place where I'm totally happy with my body.

Life also seems much more precious now.  It's not worth fretting over whether all the dishes are in the sink or the weeds are all pulled.  Or whether we have the latest gadgets or cars.  There will always be someone with a bigger house, a nice car and fancier shoes.  We may not eat at the hippest restaurants or go out to the newest bars, but I wouldn't trade my current state of home life and my amazing family for anything in the world. 

I'm not sure exactly when I became this woman, sometime between saying I do and rocking my baby boy to sleep, but I like her and am happy she's here.

First Date Flashbacks

Grandma Sip Sip is babysitting Lukas overnight tonight.  That means Mr. Cob and I are going out on the town! 

And by out on the town I mean out to dinner with friends.  We're wild like that.

So as any reader of this blog knows, I'm pretty baby-centric these days.  I have been for the past 9 months and two days.  Oh wait, you better add 9 more months on to that for when I was pregnant and baby-centric.

Naturally, over that time we've tended to hang out with our other kidded couple friends or about-to-be parent friends.  This way we can all bring our babies along and still have a social life.  Our talks usually revolve around babies, with occasional side conversations about such things as "Lesbians who look like Justin Bieber" or other, intelligent topics.

But tonight we're going to dinner with some "no kid" friends.  They're not anti-kid (as far as I know), they just don't have kids yet.  And the worst thing you can do with your "no kid" friends is talk about your kid the entire time.  No one likes that parent.

So in an effort to not be that parent, I've been reading various newspapers and trying to brush up on current events so I can pretend that I know what is going on in the world.  I'm secretly (or, ehm, not so secretly now) coming up with an emergency list of topics to talk about that have nothing to do with kids.

Maybe Mr. Cob and I should come up with a "safe word" in case one of us heads down that dreaded path.

I feel like I'm going on a blind date.

And I thought my dating days were over.

Wish us luck!  And feel free to send me any hip, cool conversation topics.

And if you're reading this and having dinner with me tonight, know that I am really excited and have already picked out the bottle glass of wine I plan on ordering!

Weigh-In

Baby L (as my dad fondly calls Lukas) turned 9 months old this week, which means we had our 9 month well doctor's appointment.  If he were a teenage girl or heck, any female for that matter, he'd be excited to learn he's "skinny".  But he's not a lady.  He's a boy.  A very skinny boy!

He weighs 17.75 pounds which brings him in at around the 10th percentile.  But he measured about 50-75th % for height (I think he's 28.5 inches) and 50th % for head circumference.  And generally speaking he's in great health.  At 9 months babies are given their first developmental test and he passed all the questions, so that's positive too. 

The doctor said he's free to eat anything we are eating and to just try different foods.  This was good to hear since the baby food is starting to lose its appeal to Lukas.  He'll take a spoonful and then put his hand in his mouth and take the food out (gross, yes).  So I think we are done with baby food.  I now have even more reasons to cook at home and eat more fruits and veggies.  It's funny how I care greatly about making sure Lukas gets organic food and very little crappy processed food, but don't follow this advice myself all the time.  Also, according to the doc, apparently if you offer a baby a food atleast 10 times, they'll eventually acquire a taste for it.  So she said not to give up if there was a food he didn't like at first.  So far the kid hasn't met a food he doesn't like.  Which is ironic given how skinny he is.  He's just so full of energy that I think he burns it all off quickly.

As the doc was leaving the room, she stopped and said to me "You know you could just add cheese to all his meals to try to fatten him up."  If only my doctor would say that to me! HA.

Lukas is crawling everywhere and standing on his own but not walking yet.  I took my first steps at 9 months, 2 weeks, so we'll see if he follows suit.  He's "talking" more and more every day and says "dada", "mama", "Aahhh" (for Auntie Allison, we think) and "Bup" for puppy.  He's a ham and I love him more than I ever could have imagined.

Picture in a picture

This is now sitting on my desk at work.  How adorable is this picture? 

It was waiting for me when I dropped Lukas off at daycare and makes me love his "school" even more. They send home so many cute pictures and projects. I've even re-started my Lukas scrapbook that I plan on filling with all the art projects he does at school and the hundreds of pictures I've been taking of him.  And I am even using my "good" camera more these days and will upload some of those pictures one of these days.

Ok, back to starring at my little king work.

Scrub scrub

Not only is today hump day, it's also the day that Auntie Al is coming to town!  In anticipation of her visit the Little Man took a morning bath so he'll be all clean when Al gets here.  (or maybe the bath was due to a swim in the baby pool last night and lack of a post-baby-pool bath at night.  Either way, he's clean and all baby-smelly now!). We're all excited for Al's visit!

Back in Balance

Luckily my woe-is-me moment of last week was fleeting and I snapped back into seeing life with rosy glasses rather quickly.  I'm blaming my slip into the blahs on the hormones.  Yup, I'm still blaming the hormones.  (I'm still breastfeeding, so the hormones that went insane while I was pregnant have yet to restablize.  My new plan is to continue nursing until I get pregnant again so that I can continue blaming the hormones for any of my strange behavior for the next few years.  I'm only half kidding...)

How can I not have a smile on my face with this silly dude in my life????

I was also reminded this weekend how great of friends and family I have.  Friday night after work I spent a few hours with my parents, grandma and Lukas.  I love that they are close and I really love that my grandma is staying in Georgia for the foreseeable future (I haven't told y'all this have I?  Hum, Ok, well tack that on to the blog posts I need to write. Here's the would-be-title: "Grandma J is not going back, back to Cali, Cali!" (which is really a factually wrong title since she never lived in Cali, but you'll overlook that in the interest of a catchy blog title, right? Thanks.)).  I also had a long talk with my brother this weekend and while he did move back, back to Cali, Cali (am I annoying you yet?), I'm glad we've stayed close, though I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish on a daily basis that he and Stuie lived around the corner.  Maybe one day.  Maybe I'll move back, back to Cali, Cali (yup, I've now annoyed myself.  I'll stop now, I promise.  And no, we have no current intention of moving across the country.)  I love my family. 

And my friends rock too.  We caught up with a handful of friends this weekend and it was good for my soul.  Everyone left our house after a cookout yesterday and I turned to Mr. Cob and said "We have some really good people here."  And he agreed.  I love my people.  Thanks to all of you who are my people.  You mean a lot to me!