Staying Positive

As you can see, I haven't written in the past couple of days and I hesitated to write today.  I just don't have much to say/share.  Well, that's not exactly true.  I have plenty of things going through my head, it's just that I'm trying to stay upbeat and positive, and I fear that if I write everything down that I'm thinking, I'll kill the upbeat outward demeanor I'm trying to put forth.  But here's the thing I've realized, by keeping it all bottled up, maybe it's just making it more difficult to remain positive.  So here goes my cathartic attempt to let it all out.

I haven't been sleeping well.  I wake up every morning pretty exhausted even though I'm getting roughly 8-9 hours of sleep.  The doctor said this is because I'm getting up 1-2 times per night to pee, so even though I'm sleeping for a collectively long time, I'm not getting good REM sleep and therefore I'm just left feeling tired.  She encouraged me to take naps whenever I can, which I've been doing after work.  I feel like I shouldn't complain though because I don't have a problem falling asleep - I think the hypnobirthing relaxing CDs really help relax me and put me to sleep.  It's just the staying asleep that's the problem.

The heartburn has come back with a vengeance.  Especially at night when I'm trying to relax.  This doesn't help make sleep any easier.

And the gas.  Let's not even go there...

And I just feel so heavy.  I know, I know.. I AM beautiful.  I'm trying to recite this every day, but it is increasingly difficult when people make the most asinine comments to me.  (Yesterday I was told what was perhaps the rudest thing you could say to a pregnant woman.  I won't get into it, but lets just say she sure did a good job of knocking my self esteem even lower.)  And along with this heavy feeling (which is mainly that this little boy has dropped a little so I'm feeling extreme pressure in my pelvis), my wardrobe has really dwindled down.  I'm tired of wearing the same few things every day.  And they all seem to be black, which doesn't exactly help.

And have I mentioned that I'm still not due for another three weeks.  Yea, so I really need to get over all this and settle in for the long haul.  I doubt the sleeping will get better and Lukas is just going to get even bigger.  So I need to just suck it up and deal.

Okay, I'm done venting.  Thanks for letting me get it out.  I feel better now.

On the positive side - my mom's sisters are all coming into town this weekend!  And my mom's best friend is throwing me a family baby shower, so I have that to look forward to!

And our doctor's appointment this week was good.  I tested negative for group B strep so I don't have to be hooked up to antibiotics during labor.  (For those that don't know, 30% of women have group B strep in their whoo-ha and while it doesn't affect us, it can be very harmful to the baby passing through the birth canal.)  My blood pressure is great and Lukas' heart beat is strong.  After some probing by Mr. Cob and myself, the doc admitted that while she can't be sure, there is a chance that Lukas is quite the large baby.  But not so large that she's concerned at this point.  He's still head down and since I'm not having contractions yet, she didn't bother to check to see if I'm dilating.  I go back next Tuesday and every Tuesday thereafter until the little man is here!

So that's our update.