Just Shut Up Already

I may lock myself in my house and not come out again until its time to go to the hospital to deliver this baby.  I'm really over all the comments.  Yes, I'm huge.  No, the baby has not been born yet.  It's not easy to keep a smile on your face when you're deflecting ridiculous comments that have no appropriate response.  I'm trying to stay kind and remember that people aren't being spiteful or mean, it's just that they have nothing else to say. 

Some of my favorites as of late:

"So are you feeling chunky?" - I responded first by picking my jaw up off the ground and then saying how chunky is really a horrible word.  To which she said "Well, I don't mean fat...I mean, well, chunky."  I'm not sure how one differentiates between fat and chunky, but I found it interesting that she stuck by her word and question even after I made it clear that I didn't appreciate the question.

"So, any day now huh?"  - This was said by some random stranger when I was walking the dog yesterday.  Admittedly, this didn't bother me too much especially since she explained why she made the statement (aside from my clearly pregnant state) - my mom was with me and we were walking - add those together with the hugely pregnant belly and her comment wasn't bad.  She was just stating the obvious.

"You must be getting close now.  Your face is getting really wide."  - Yes, thank you for making me more self conscious by explicitly pointing out the fact that my face is now getting, shall we say, chunky?!

"So you've gained what, 60 pounds or so?" - said by the barista at Caribou Coffee.  No explanation of how I felt needed...

And my favorite - "What are you still doing here?" from my coworkers.  I'm still here because I'm still pregnant.

This does not bode well for the next week.  May I remind everyone that only 30-40% of babies are born by their due date, so it should be no surprise that I'm still a week away from my due date and the baby hasn't been born.

I really need to come up with some snappy come backs.  If people feel its appropriate to tell me how "chunky" and tired I look, then I think it's only fair for me to comment about their weight and overall appearance.  But then I'll just be the b*tchy pregnant girl who doesn't appreciate people being interested in my pregnancy.  I guess I should just suck it up and put a smile on my big, wide face.