TTT - Choices

Cob here. So two weeks in a row with some Toddler tips. Have you been able to figure out that June is Mrs. Swan’s busy month (one of them at least).

Mrs. Swan: Cob. Cob? Cob! COB!

Me: *snort* Uh, I’m up! I’m up.

Mrs. Swan: Seriously, its 7:30, I just put Lukas to bed, how are you already asleep?

Me: Look I read a lot of stuff today… Perez Hilton had an exclusive interview with J. Beib’s kitten, Professor Chiltonton. I am beat.

Mrs. Swan: Okay, well, I’m in a bind and despite my instincts, I was hoping you might have some more tips or thoughts… no dick jokes.

Me: Well… I did have one idea… hmmm, no dick jokes though, so… let’s just post this recipe I saw in Decent Homekeeping last week. It was the winning recipe for gazpacho at the 14th annual Northeast Georgia Pudding Jamboree and Tepid Soup-Off.

Mrs. Swan: Just go back to sleep, I’ll figure something out.

Me: Great.

So I went back to sleep, but I awoke some 8 hours later, at 3 in the morning with a cry. “Epiphany!” Mrs. Swan then cried out as well, also excited at my brilliant idea.

Me: I got it! I can write that post. No need to break out the Gazpacho recipe!

Mrs. Swan: What?! Ah, Fine… Jesus.

Choices. That is this week’s tip. Through my research (read: Trial and Error), I have learned that one way to manage Lukas’ tantrums is to give him a choice. Doctors might call this preventative medicine. Those same doctors might also tell me “you can’t let a 19 month old make choices for himself or he will be some kind of pantless cupcake addict.” To that I would say, “Listen doc, these are not real choices, it is the illusion of a choice. Yes doctor, I trick my child, a little bit. It is good for him, I think.”

Choices. It is apparent that Lukas, despite his small stature, believes himself to be nearly a full grown person. We have come realize that when Lukas needs to do something he doesn’t want to do, the best way to prevent a tantrum is to offer him an option; the thing he doesn’t want to do, or something worse. It was the same reason I hung out with persons of questionable moral character in college – I looked a heck of a lot better considering the alternatives. Eh Mrs. Swan? In all seriousness though, choices have really helped and it empowers the little guy to a certain degree.

We first noticed this when it came to clothes. See, the little nudist began to protest against clothes and the social conventions associated with them. So one day Mrs. Swan got out three shirts, each of them somewhat acceptable, and simply asked him what shirt he wanted to wear. He chose and then we put it on and he didn’t complain that much. Amazing. We continued this practice.

Food as well. Our pediatrician told us that one way to get around this picky eating problem was to give him a couple of options on his plate. At first, we gave him one thing he liked and three things he didn’t. He basically just ate the thing he liked. Game on. Next we gave him four things he kind of liked and out of either acceptance, or confusion, he tended to eat three or four things. Now we give him four options and include in it some of his favorites (strawberries) and for some reason he tends to eat some of the stuff her doesn’t like (i.e., green foods). Success, via the scientific method (Note: I am only a recreational scientist).

Probably the greatest example of the power of choices was today:

Mrs. Swan: Luke, do you want to take a bath?

Luke: Yeh!

Me: Did he just say…

Mrs. Swan: You want to take a bath?

Luke: Yeh! (begins taking off shirt – gets stuck on head – falls on his butt)

Baths have been few and far between the last two or three weeks. He has been crying through most of them and the baths were more like glorified sponge baths rather than proper baths, with Lukas standing and crying (no booty immersion) and with Mrs. Swan asking him to sit down for five minutes until eventually just scrubbing him while he stands. Tonight, bath time was a pleasure, like it used to be.

Admittedly, things are easier now that he can say “Yeh!” and “Nooooo.” And bear in mind we are not complete idiots – he doesn’t get to choose everything and sometimes we have to put our foot down – but I would be remiss if I didn’t note how much giving him some choices has helped. So the next time you see us in public, and Lukas is wearing Purple, Red, Yellow, and Brown, don’t blame me, blame him. It was his call. As for my outfit…well I get to choose my clothes too… and there is nothing you can do about it. If Lukas gets to choose, I do too!