READER: So, my little man (19 months old) recently moved into the toddler room and he is screaming hysterically when I leave him every day. It is becoming very stressful for me. Have ya'll gone through this? Any good tips?
Hi. Oh the daycare drop off scream fest. The worst way to start your day, hands down. We've definitely been there and I always wind up crying myself in the car - if I can make it that far before the tears start. BUT, let's think about this rationally and for a moment pretending we aren't hormonal momma bears who have an intense need for our kids to never cry, ok? Ok.
What has changed? Kids, as far as I can tell, do really well with routine and when you switch up that routine, you're throwing a kink in their little lives. They don't have the language yet to tell us what is wrong, so they cry and scream. Luckily, this time you know exactly what is wrong - he's in a new room and that's going to take some time for him to get used to. I'm guessing he has new teachers, yes? What about the kids in the room - does he know any of them or did he leave all his little friends and join a whole new group of friends? We were lucky when Lukas changed rooms - his friends all changed at the same time so there was one constant within the other change. But if your little guy changed rooms, teachers and friends, then that is a lot for him to process.
Did his routine there also change? When L moved rooms he went from a crib to a cot for naps, high chair to table for food, etc. So I'd think it'll take him a few days to get used to the new room. Is your mom still watching him a few days a week? If so, then it may take him a little longer to acclimate since he's not at daycare every single day. I'd talk to his teachers and ask them how he is once you have left. How long does it take for him to calm down? Lukas is always fine within 10 minutes of me leaving - his teachers and the administrators have told me this on numerous occasions. The owner of our school has told me that day in and day out she sees kids have meltdowns when the parents leave and then they are TOTALLY HAPPY and playing before mom and dad are even to their car! She once told me she would never have beleived that before she started the school and saw it for her own eyes. So take comfort in the fact that this is COMPLETLY NORMAL and will pass.
Did his routine there also change? When L moved rooms he went from a crib to a cot for naps, high chair to table for food, etc. So I'd think it'll take him a few days to get used to the new room. Is your mom still watching him a few days a week? If so, then it may take him a little longer to acclimate since he's not at daycare every single day. I'd talk to his teachers and ask them how he is once you have left. How long does it take for him to calm down? Lukas is always fine within 10 minutes of me leaving - his teachers and the administrators have told me this on numerous occasions. The owner of our school has told me that day in and day out she sees kids have meltdowns when the parents leave and then they are TOTALLY HAPPY and playing before mom and dad are even to their car! She once told me she would never have beleived that before she started the school and saw it for her own eyes. So take comfort in the fact that this is COMPLETLY NORMAL and will pass.
I also think it's the age. Lukas has started throwing temper tantrums and cries for no apparent reason sometimes. So that's probably not in your favor either! I've also noticed at this age that Lukas is very focused on whoever is with him at the given moment. Last night I had drinks after work and got home around 7:30 - Lukas was very into dadda at the time. Mr. Cob left at 8 to go workout and Lukas lost his mind asking for dadda. He's also done this when we leave my mom's house and he wants to keep playing with Sip Sip. So your little guy wants to be with his momma in the morning but rest assured he's fine when you leave, or will be in no time.
How about the good bye? Are you lingering once he starts to cry? I've read that that makes it worse. Also don't sneak out. Tell him you love him and that you're going to work and you will be back to see him later and then leave. Short and sweet is best. Hopefully his teachers can work with you on this and distract him as soon as you leave - we have to do that with Lukas still sometimes.
My other tip would just be to stay strong and don't doubt yourself or feel bad! He's a little boy and they get upset, but it's just because he's in a new environment - once he gets comfortable again he'll be good!
Hope this helps a bit :)
No comments:
Post a Comment