Keep the Old

"Make new friends, but keep the o-l-d; one is silver and the other gold."

Who knew that song from my childhood would ring so true for me in my adult life?

I'm not the best at keeping in touch.  Some might say I despise talking on the phone.  I'd much rather meet in person and see the person I'm talking to.  The phone can be so, impersonal.  My husband would say that I have this weird phobia of talking on the phone.  But that's mainly just with people I don't know.  Still, I'm not much of a phone person.  I love to write and so I stay in touch with some far away friends via email.  But some friends aren't big on the email front.  So weeks can quickly turn into months and sometimes years before we connect.  And life gets in the way.  Pesky life.

Luckily, true friendships aren't sustained by the amount of times you talk on the phone.  Or even by the frequency with which you see each other or the knowledge you have of one another's current life.  True friendships run deep and truly are golden.

The past weekend, after a three and a half year hiatus, I was reunited with one of my best friends from college, Erin.  In the 9 years since graduation and her moving back to Texas we have seen each other less than a handful of times.  Once for a quick 2 hours of cocktails while she was in town for a photography shoot.  The second almost five years ago for her wedding.  And three and a half years ago for my own nuptials.  In between these visits I've gone to law school and become a lawyer and she has changed career paths completely from photography to education and we both have had babies - a little girl for her who is already one and my little man who is almost 19 months old.  A lot has changed in 9 years. 

I have changed in 9 years.  If I were to meet my 22 year old self today, I'm pretty sure I'd hate her.  At the very least I wouldn't want to be her friend.  She was a very different person than the woman I am today.  And so flying in to Texas last Thursday night I was a little nervous about whether my 31 year old self and Erin's 31 year old self would have anything in common.  Would our friendship sustain?  Or were we both two completely different people without a shared thread?

I quickly realized that we were both changed from the last time we'd seen each other.  For one, we were both mothers and that changes a person to her core, no matter how hard you protest.  It's an organic change but an awesome one as well.  We were both more mature and different in many ways, yet even though a lot of time had passed, after a few awkward minutes, we picked back up as if we'd just shared a glass of wine the night before.

Over the weekend we caught up on each other's lives.  We learned about who each is today.  We got a peek into one another's marriage.  We held each other's child and watched over them as if they were our own.  We laughed.  We drank wine.  We made new memories.

I know that we won't suddenly start talking on the phone on a regular basis.  And we probably won't see one another again for a few years.  But I wouldn't trade her friendship for the world, for it really is gold.