I really wish I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I wish I could figure out what that one thing was that made my heart leap and just went for it. But I have no idea what that "thing" is. And have to admit I'm jealous of others who know what they want and go for it.
And no, being a lawyer is not my life dream. And today affirmed that. It's not my job that I don't like - I enjoy my job most days. I really like the people I work with. The law I practice "fits" with my background/education of finance. But I hate the adversary side of it. I never thought I wanted to be a litigator because litigation centers around conflict. So I thought it was perfect when I became a transactional attorney. What I failed to realize at the time, is that transactional law is actually more confrontational than litigation. At least on a day-to-day basis. I negotiate with other lawyers every day of my job. Some days those discussions go smoothly. And other days they make me want to crawl into a hole.
This evening I received a voice mail message from an opposing counsel on a deal. He pretty much called me a liar and wanted to let me know "lawyer to lawyer" that this was bad practice. This is the same man who just a few days ago, used the negotiating tactic of telling me that he had 30 years experience as an attorney (read: he was trying to intimidate me into changing my position) and that if I had a problem with this one particular issue I could call one of my partners in one of our other offices and he would "tell me how it is." So, yes, I realize this guy is less than kind and genuine himself. But the fact that he put into question my ethics and morals as an attorney, really infuriated me. Especially when I did not do or say what he is accusing me of. I know that all I can do is handle my own reaction to this man's misunderstanding/twisting of the facts. But it just makes me a little defeated that there are people out there like this. He is one of the reasons people have a distaste for lawyers. He is one of the reasons I question my career path.
I hope one day I figure out what I want to do with my life. Or at least grow a thicker skin so that people like him don't affect me so much. I just wish everyone could be a bit nicer. The world would be a much better place.
It makes me sad to hear what you had to endure yesterday. Keep your chin up! I hope today was a better day. He sounds so full of himself and makes me question his integrity. I'm still trying to grow thicker skin.
ReplyDeleteI also wish I knew what my "thing" was. Like you, I am thankful for the fact that I enjoy my job on a day-to-day basis, but in the grand scheme of things, what I do does not matter at all. But...what I am so thankful for is that my job allows me to do the things in life that I am passionate about. I feel for you in particular b/c we've spent hours over the past few days arguing with the client and attorneys...and we're all working on the same side/engagement!!! So one would think we're not adversarial! :) Happy Friday!
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