Hello Old Friend

For about six months now I've been apart from something very dear to me.  But today we are reunited.  Today as I drove to work, with my hands upon the steering wheel, I smiled.  As I sit in front of my computer with my hands on the keyboard, I smile.  And as I reach to pick up my coffee cup with my left hand, I smile.  My wedding band is finally back where it belongs, on my left hand ring finger.

 

It is a little tight, but it's no longer cutting off the circulation in my finger, so I figured I could wear it.  I've missed it.  I've missed what it symbolizes. I've missed the daily reminder it provides me of my wedding day, and the memories from that day.  I know its just a ring, just a piece of jewelry, but it's one of my most treasured possessions. 

 

Unfortunately, its best friend is a no show.  My engagement ring is still on the tight side and somehow putting them both on together made my finger freak out.  So half of the whole is back.  Hopefully in another few weeks, with a few more pounds shed, I'll be able to wear them both together.  (Although, I've been told that the final bit of swelling sometimes does not go away until you finish nursing.  So it could still be a while.)

 

As for the weight loss, I'm getting there.  To date I've lost roughly 52 pounds since Lukas was born.  I still have 14 to go until I'm back at my pre-baby weight (and we won't mention the 10 more I'd like to lose after that...) (and yes, that would mean in total I packed on about 66 pounds.  Yup, that's double what you're supposed to gain.  No I did not eat bins of ice cream every day of my pregnancy, although next time around I just might.  No, I was not a cute pregnant girl.  I was huge.  That is all.) 

 

I wish I could say I was working out every day and eating only vegetables, but I'm not.  I'm working out maybe 2 times a week, on a good week.  As for the eating, I'm doing Weight Watchers online.  It seems to be working as I'm losing about 1.5 to 3 pounds per week.  The somewhat frustrating thing is that I have a serious appetite right now, which I think is in part (or in total) due to nursing.  My body is still working really hard to produce food for my baby boy and that takes energy.  So it's a catch 22 to make sure I eat enough to continue producing enough milk, but not too much so that I keep losing this weight.

 

I know I'm being hard on myself and I should give myself a break.  But it's a battle every morning to get dressed. Some days its good because clothes that fit a few weeks ago are now baggy and hanging off me, but my normal clothes still don't fit for the most part.  So most days I look ridiculous as I put together whatever clothes I can find that somewhat fit and resemble an outfit of sorts.  I'm looking forward to fitting back in my normal clothes and looking somewhat stylish again. 

 

And it will happen.  It'll just take some time.  But for now, I'll revel in the small victories.  Like wearing my wedding band again.