Dear Why Mommy, I'm considering finding someone part time (1-2 days a week) to take a little of the burden off of my mom who will be watching my baby when I return to work next month. What process did you use to find your girl? What questions did you ask? And how did you decide on compensation?? Oh, do y'all have a signed contract?? No clue what I'm doing here! Thanks, New Mommy in Need of a Nanny
Oh New Mommy, I DO have some thoughts and tips! Up until a few months ago my tip would've been: DON'T DO IT, FIND AN AWESOME DAYCARE INSTEAD!! But I've changed my stance on nannies and am now Pro-Nanny given our current super-nanny! The key, obviously, is finding the right nanny. A bad nanny can make your life hellish, but a good nanny can ease so many of the stressors of being a working mom.
A little background on my nanny experience: Both of my boys started at a private daycare/preschool at 12 weeks old. It had a hefty price tag but was amazing and worth every single penny. Then we moved and I couldn't find an open daycare spot for my youngest son, so we were forced to go the nanny-route. I used care.com and hired a 22 year old who was a mom herself. The first 4 days were OK but then it became apparent that she wasn't a good fit. A few examples: she was leaving the house messier than I'd left it in the morning (even though I was paying her extra to do light housework), Julian had a dirty diaper that clearly had been there for hours one night when I got home, she was getting ready for her other job while she was supposedly watching my kids (and by getting ready I mean, changing her clothes, curling her hair, doing makeup, etc.), and she just put cartoons on the TV after picking up Lukas even though her signed contract said the kids were not permitted to watch TV. But the kicker and the reason I left work one day to fire her was because she hated going outside and gave me HUGE attitude when I told her that it was a requirement. She also couldn't handle a 3 year old talking back to her. Hello, he's 3. Anyway, she got the boot and we lucked in to hiring our current nanny who is the little sister of my neighbor's best friend. And she is A.MAZING.
So, the best advice I can give after our first nanny failure, is to try to find someone through someone you know. Easiest way to go about this is to use facebook. Maybe even tag a few people in your post so it goes up on their wall. Say what you're looking for (part time nanny for an infant) and that any leads would be helpful. Are you ok doing a nanny share? Could put that in the same post - Need a nanny or nanny share a few days a week for my sweet boy. You may be surprised what you get back.
Also, anytime you see someone, mention that you need a nanny. Seriously. This is how I ended up with Super Nanny. I was at lunch with her sister (who I'd never met) and my across the street neighbor (who I barely knew) and I mentioned I was going back to work in a week and was nervous about the nanny I'd hired. A few hours later, my neighbor texted me with Super Nanny's info and said to give her a call - I wish I'd done it that day instead of 2 weeks later after showing Bad Nanny the door! But my point: you never know who knows someone who needs work.
Does your neighborhood have a facebook page or email chain - post a message to any local social media groups you belong to and maybe you'll get a name or two. And then what about through your church? I would try to find recommendations through people you know first. I didn't feel as strongly about this until our failed nanny attempt through care.com. But now I do. It was truly an awful feeling not fully trusting someone in my house with Julian.
Where you Greek in college? Another avenue would be to see if any of the local collages have your sorority on campus. You can contact the house and see if one of the girls is only having class a few days a week and looking for work the other days - I have a friend who has done this and it's worked out well. Those girls have energy that the rest of us don't! On the same lines, try those same universities to see if their early childhood education departments have listserves or even names of people looking for work. A lot of those masters programs are at night so people are looking for daytime work and if they're trying to get a degree in early childhood education, odds are they love kids.
If those aren't productive, I would look into a nanny agency which is different from care.com. The issue I have with care.com is that they do not vet the applicants AT.ALL. Anyone, can sign up. It's on you to do a background check (which we did), but just because someone doesn't have a criminal record does not mean everything they've told you about their experience and ability to take care of a child is true. A nanny agency, from what I hear, can be pricey but I think it is worth the money.
Once you get a couple of names/numbers, I'd call the people (don't text), you'll have a better chance of getting somewhere and there may be a few people who you talk to on the phone and don't even want to meet in person. GO WITH YOUR GUT. If someone feels off, then you will never feel comfortable with them. Chat just a bit the initial convo, set up a time to meet in your house - have a list of questions (I'll come up with some example questions in a follow-up post as this post is quite lengthy already). I'd not have the baby around for this initial meeting, but that's up to you. You want to get a feel for them before handing them your baby. But this is probably a bigger deal if the person is totally random to you and not a friend of a friend. Ask for their certifications (CPR, first aid) and a resume or at least a list of references. CALL THE REFERENCES. (I did not do this. It was a mistake.) If they are a friend of a friend, then the references aren't necessarily necessary. Meet with a few different people if possible. You may be surprised that you prefer an older grandmother type over a young energetic chick. And then you want to see how they are with your little one. One suggestion, when you think you've picked your person, is to have them come over for half a day and watch the baby with you there.
We did have a nanny contract that we found through care.com. I think Google can help you with a few ideas. You also need to keep in mind that you have to withhold taxes or pay the gov't taxes on what you pay the nanny during tax season. As far as compensation - care.com tells you average nanny prices in your area. I think anywhere from $10-15 per hour is average for one child, but that can vary widely depending on where you live.
Stay tuned for a list of questions to ask potential nannies - and GOOD LUCK!
xo,
Why Mommy
Do you have a question for Why Mommy? It doesn't have to be kid-related, I'm happy to talk about anything... Send me an email at thenestingswans@gmail.com and let's figure it out!!!
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