I feel like I've written this post before, but I'm too lazy to go search for it. Or perhaps I've just thought these thoughts and never actually gotten them down on to paper. Either way, I've been thinking about friendships a lot lately.
It occurred to me the other day, as I was walking down the street in the middle of my workday to buy my afternoon coffee pick-me-up, that this Fall will be 15 years since I started college. FIFTEEN Y'ALL! That's like almost half my life. Lord knows that I'm not that girl anymore, and thank God for that.
In college my best friends were my sorority sisters. I have fond memories of my times with these girls. We had so much fun dressing up for socials and just doing those things college kids do - drink, go out, talk about life, etc. Our biggest concern was who to take to the next date night and what we'd wear out on Friday night. Still, I have managed to make some lifelong friendships with some of these girls.
In law school, my friendships ended up mattering more than my law degree. The latter wouldn't likely have occurred without the former. Those girls helped me mend a broken heart and then helped me open that heart back up again to someone new who turned out to be my husband of almost 6 years now. Those girls were there through all-nighters - studying for some exam or feverishly writing next to me as we tried to finish our journal articles. They were there to celebrate the end of the last final we'd ever take (and oh what a celebration it was, although the folks in that restaurant certainly wouldn't agree). They were there on graduation morning, and graduation evening. They were there through the summer of the bar exam. Their names being on that list in October of 2007 mattered just as much to me as my own. We'd done it together. And that time in our lives, our mid-to late 20s, will always be woven together.
Since law school, I've stayed close with my law school girls, but there have been some new friendships that have formed. I'm so thankful for these friendship and feel lucky and honored to call these girls my friends. Most of these friendships were fostered because of our children. You could call them my "mom friends", but they are so much more than that.
My adult friends are there when life gets to be too much. They care about the everyday ins and outs of raising small children. They understand that the balance act is hard. They get it. They get me and they get the issues I currently am facing.
With these adult friends (some who are also college friends and law friends) I've celebrated marriages and births. I've mourned the death of their parents, children and marriages. I've held hands and listened to strained voices as they relay the diagnosis that their loved one has just been given and watched the uncertainty cloud their eyes. I've hugged goodbyes as they've moved away and mourned the friendships that I was so hopeful would continue for years to come. I've talked in parking lots about the shared struggle of being a lawyer and mom. I've listened and wished for the right and perfect words to come as you've told me you weren't sure the love was still present. I've listened to your sobbing voice over the phone as you tell me you just don't think you can leave your child and return to work. You've done the same for me.
There's no roadmap for this life. We're all trying to navigate it the best we can. Some days I feel like I've picked the wrong highway. Other days I sense a friend driving the wrong way down a one-way street. But these adult friendships have been the signposts I've needed on days where I've lost my way. These friendships mean more to me than I probably express in person. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by amazing women, who get it and who get me.
So thanks to all my friends - new and old. I'm a better person because you're in my life.
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