Cleanse Day 5

I'm on day 5 of the cleanse.  To date I've lost 4.8 pounds.  I'm not going to lie, the weight loss is probably the only thing keeping me going.  It's not that I don't like the food - some has been amazing.  I've cooked some foods that I'd never probably make on my own - carrot and ginger soup, sweet beet soup and sweet potatoes topped with kale, cabbage and carrots have all been delicious.  But I find that by mid-afternoon my mind decides that I should stop.  It tells me that this is silly and there's no good reason to continue.  I'm not sure how else to explain it, but each afternoon while I'm sitting at work, I decided that I'm not going to continue the cleanse the next day. 

 

But I do.  So far I've been able to get over my mental speed bump and continue, even when the boys' school sent home a free large cheese pizza last night.  I made it for the boys and didn't even take one bite.  I ate my cauliflower steaks instead, which admittedly weren't good. 

 

I'm trying to stick with this.  I'm not very good at following through with things I start.  I only got to day 5 or 6 of Tracy Anderson's 90 day metamorphosis program.  I've started writing numerous things only to stop before I get going.  I reach out to make plans with friends and then drop the ball on the follow through.  I start laundry and then realize 3 days later that it's sitting, wet in the wash.  I don't know why this is but it's not a trait I like about myself.  So I'd really like to see this thing out.

 

And the truth is, I feel good.  I have energy.  Now that I've made it through the coffee withdrawal headaches and sluggishness of day 2, I'm feeling good.  I'm sleeping well (and thankfully so has Julian the past 2 nights!).  And I didn't even miss the pizza last night, and resisting the cheese, cupcakes, brownies and bagels that were in my offices' breakroom wasn't that hard.  So I'm not really sure why every afternoon I decide that I want to stop.

 

I suppose on the one hand, I know that I'm not going to come out of this a vegan.  I love red meat too much to ever jump to the other side.  I also like chicken and fish and pork. So I think maybe my desire to stop is because I don't really know what the point of going vegan for 3 weeks is if I know I will not continue.  But there are benefits to this.  My body does feel good.  I know I am feeding it well. This week has also made me wonder if I should try to cut down the bread/pasta/carb products when this is all said and done.  I don't feel bloated like I normally do and I'm starting to think that is directly related to the lack of gluten/carbs.

 

So we'll see.  So far I'm still going strong.  I have good friends coming in town next weekend for a reunion of sorts and a girls night has already been planned for Friday night.  I've already decided I'm going off cleanse for that meal to at least be able to enjoy a glass of wine with my girls!  It's one thing to stick to something, it's another to be so anal that you don't know the important things in life like enjoying a good bottle of wine with the friends who keep me sane.  I'm hoping that I don't let the whole weekend derail me and that I'll actually pick the cleanse back up on Sunday afternoon.  And who knows, by the time everyone gets here next Friday, I'll be on day 12 of the cleanse and might end up making better food choices than I think!