The Universe Speaks

Ok, so after getting my woe-is-me bitching out of the way yesterday the Universe decided to tell me to shut up.  (What, the Universe doesn't talk to you?  It does, you're just not listening.  Really.)  In less than 24 hours I have had no less than 4 things happen telling me to zip it and embrace this belly, big butt and boobs.

Universe smack down #1: Last night as I was perusing the internet in bed I read a few blog posts that lead me to this one: These are the Lines of a Story.  It is a blog post written by a mom of 3 little boys (including a set of twins) about accepting her post-partum body.  While I'm currently pre-partum with #2, the post was inspiring and eye-opening for me.  I love her ah ha moment and how she responds to her son telling her "Your belly is funny."  It made me wonder how I would respond if Lukas were to ask me about the stretch marks behind my knees, along my hips and on my tush.  Would I criticize my body in front of him or would I be able to embrace it and tell him that they are the lines of his story.  That they became a party of mommy's body when mommy was growing him.  I'd like to hope I'd choose the latter.  I realized that it really is all about perspective.

Universe smack down #2:  Within minutes of reading the body image blog post, I checked Facebook and had a message waiting for me from a dear friend.  The point of her message was to tell me about the insensitive thing someone had said to her about her appearance along the lines of "Are you pregnant" when my friend was not, in fact, pregnant.  (It was the second email I'd received in 2 days about insensitive things women had been asked by friends/strangers - glad to know I'm not alone ladies! Clearly the world at large could use a lesson from Miss Manners.)  But within the email my friend said that the woman's comment was even more stinging because she'd been trying to get pregnant to no avail for many months.  I don't know if my friend had even read my blog post from yesterday, but it was a reminder that I really am lucky to be pregnant at all.  There are many different "side effects" of pregnancy, and excessive weight gain is one of mine, but I'm doing something that lots of women wish they were doing. I'm growing another life and that is not something to take lightly or to be forgetten in the whole scheme of things.

Universe smack down #3:  Continuing my internet reading I next ran across a headline that said "Kim Kardashian Bulking Up for Weight Watchers Contract?" and continued to speculate that Kim K was "packing on the [pregnancy] pounds" in hopes of landing a six-figure weight watchers ad.  And I did a silent "thank you God" that I am not a celebrity whose pregnancy weight is under scrutiny and constant camera attention.  Leave the poor girl alone people!

So I went to bed last night feeling a little silly for being so down on myself for my weight gain and resolved to get a grip on my self-hate.  But the universe wasn't done with me just yet and wanted to make sure my 'tude was properly adjusted.

Universe smack down #4:  After my shower this morning I was in the bathroom, make-up free and my hair tied in a knot on my head.  Naked.  I was inspecting my growing bump and changing body in the mirror while the husband showered.  I noticed him staring at me and as the self doubt started creeping in again, I barked "what???" at him, but he just smiled and said "You look absolutely beautiful."  Not the words I was expecting, which he must have gathered by the confused look on my face (note that he hadn't read yesterday's blog post and didn't know I was struggling with my changing body).  He then followed it up with "You just look so feminine."  And he continued to smile at me.

Ok, Universe, I get it.  I need to offer myself some grace and be thankful for what this changing body is doing.  And perhaps I'll take a break from my every morning scale hopping.  Once a week is probably more than enough. 

I've also decided that at least 6 of the pounds has gone straight to my boobs and must admit that they look fabulous in the dress I'm wearing today.  So what if another 10 has gone to my butt, at least I have big boobs for once (or twice) in my life!  How's that perspective for you?