I'm 25 weeks pregnant today. And I don't have a picture to share. And I'm not going to share one later today simply because I feel like an obese whale and see no sense in documenting this feeling.
My body is hoarding fat and piling on the pounds. I'm not kidding. Between Friday morning and this morning (4 days), I have gained 3.4 pounds.
Yesterday alone I gained ONE POUND. Did I eat ice cream out of the carton or fries dipped in cheese sauce all while lying on the couch eating a side of bon bons? No. I watched what I ate throughout the day, didn't binge on snacks or eat a thing after dinner. I had 8 servings of fruits and vegetables. I walked 10,000+ steps over the course of the day. I walked on the treadmill last night for a mile. All AFTER sweating and swearing my way through a 45 minute pregnancy workout DVD with weights! I even pooped yesterday (not a given for any pregnant woman, just ask her). And yet I still gained ONE FUCKING POUND.
I am trying not to freak out about this. Clearly I am failing. I know I should be overjoyed that I am pregnant and growing another life and I am so thrilled about these things and know that I am in a position that many women struggling with fertility only wish they were in. But that doesn't erase the anxiety and the feelings of disgust that are consuming my head right now.
And I still have 15 more weeks to go.
Maybe today I should eat ice cream, bagels and deep fried oreos while sitting on the couch doing nothing. It doesn't seem to matter either way, so what is the point in trying?
Heart you!! And so glad you pooped. Imagine how bad you'd feel if you were constipated, too. ;)
ReplyDeleteI can always count on you to find the silver lining!
DeleteWould you be ok if you just stopped getting on the scale except for at Dr. appts? If you're eating healthy and trying to stay somewhat active, your body is going to do its pregnant thing. I've known girlfriends who asked the nurse to read the scale and not tell them unless there was an issue. It doesn't seem healthy for you to be freaked out all the time. I feel your pain...it is SO hard to give over our bodies for this process of making a baby. Sending you some love!
ReplyDeleteI've considered that but it's just not for me. I need to know the #/rate of gainage and think it would drive me even crazier not to know. The whole weight gain thing doesn't bother me most of the time as I know this is what is meant to happen when you're pregnant, but I'd be lying if I failed to mention the frustration of it and the fact that it can be very depressing.
DeleteSince I am so far removed from this issue of being pregnant and such, BUT am still aware of weight gain, well...I say just eat well and take care of yourself but enjoy some special treats now and then, too. After all, isn't a happy mother-to-be the best for all? Take care and have a great weekend!!
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