Words are Powerful

In college a "friend" once called me a "thunder-thighed lipstick lesbian" in a very mean email.  There was also an attachment to a picture of a purple ram-headed d*ldo (I still have no idea what the picture was supposed to stand for or mean.)  This was ten years ago.  You'd think I would have forgotten it by now, but the fact is I haven't.

 

If you knew me in college, you know that I was the farthest thing from a lesbian.  (Well, as long as we're not counting that one time.)  I was a bit boy crazy.  And I had a tendency to drink too much and hit on whatever boy happened to be standing next to me.  A lesbian I was not.  That part of the email I thought was just silly.  If anything I took it as a compliment because the "lipstick" part implied that I was pretty.

 

But the words before that hurt.  She called me thunder-thighed.  If you google the term it is defined as "A pejorative term for a person with large thighs, alluding to the sound of thighs hitting against each other."  Or "THUNDER THIGHS" are a fat girls thighs that are so humongous, big & fat that they clap together when they walk. This produces a loud noise which goes like "SLAP, SLAP, SLAP" , hence the "thunder" part of the word."

 

I maybe weighed 125 pounds in college.  I was a size 4.  I was a swimmer growing up and had an athletic build.  But I did not have huge legs.   True, I weighed more than the waif-thin girl who said these ugly words to me.  And I wish I could've let her comment role off my chest, but the truth is that ever since she said the words I've been very self-conscious of my legs.  Part of me thought she was right.  I don't like to wear too short of skirts because I think my thighs are big.  And I hate my knees.  The intention of this girl in saying these words to me was to hurt me.  And she did.  And now it's time to let it go.

 

I think it's funny that this girl has tried to friend me on facebook multiple times over the past few years. I always decline the request.  Perhaps she doesn't even recall saying these words to me.  But that's the thing about words.  Once you say them, you can't take them back.  They're out there.  And you may not think the words you say will have an impact on another person.  But they very well may.  So be careful with your words.  As my mom always told me growing up, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. 

 

But the wonderful thing about words is that they can be used to uplift us as well.  If you do have something nice to say, SAY IT.  A kind word or words of encouragement can strengthen someone who is struggling.  Your words can boost the confidence of someone who is doubting themselves.  They can put a smile on someone's face.  And you just never know when your words might impact someone so greatly that your words stay with them for years. 

 

Be careful with your words, but also be generous with the kind ones.