GUEST POST: Wake Up Call

Cob here.  Yes, it has been a long time. As you can see from Mrs. Swan’s various posts, and particularly the pictures, at the moment life is jam packed with… well, life. The little fellow is now 6 months old and counting. He has started crawling (Saturday) and is loving this walker that a co-worker gave us. In fact, last night he reached for his first electric cord so we all know that this week will be child safety week at the nest.


I could go on and on about how I am incredibly lucky to have the happiest kid on record,¹ but what I really want to talk about is sleep. Look, I am a deep sleeper and I am a late sleeper. In fact, I love to sleep. Maybe its because I am a bit of an insomniac and perhaps my love of sleep is based upon the fact that sleep is so hard for me to acquire that I treasure it more than the usual person. So maybe I don’t love it so much as need it, but whatever, that is not the point. I am a notorious sleeping inner.  And the point is this there is nothing wrong with sleeping in. Period.

This is message (rant?) is directed to the youth readers really. I would ask you - do you like to sleeping? 
Answer: Yes of course. 
I would also ask that young person why you would be reading the musings of a late-20s couple and their child?
Answer: Ran out of other stuff on the internet.

Fair enough, but back to the point.  Continue to sleep in.  When your Mom and Dad, Grandpa and Grandma, brothers and sisters, friends and neighbors, aunts and uncles, cousins and nephews, dog and cat, or Belle and Sebastian, comment about how you are “sleeping the day away” or how you “sleep too much” or how you “must be sick” or call you “Rip Van Winkle,” kindly tell them to “stick it!” Why? Because in a decade, when you have a kid, you will never sleep in again. So tell them to let you get your sleeping in on when you are younger, while you can. And if they continue to give you grief, just tell them that you should probably just make a baby so you have a reason to get up early. (NOTE: if I had known this when I was 14, I would have bought 4 years of silence on the issue).

The adult readers know this: once you have a child, you are up when they are up.  Sick?  Too bad.  Hung over?  Next time just the one beer, now suck it up!  Justin Timberlake hosting SNL?  He isn't that good anyway. 

In the case of Luke, up when he is up means 6:30 on a Saturday.  This last Saturday is when I really took stock of the situation.  I was at a coffee shop three minutes after it opened saying to myself “what the f*%# am I doing here?” and I realized that I will not be sleeping in for at least 25 years.  Don’t get me wrong. Luke is amazing, even that early in the morning, and quite frankly he is happiest and cutest right when he wakes up.  He is scooting around his crib and then he will stop and look up and see you watching him.  Then he smiles showing off those two little teeth.

But still, as I waited for them to finish brewing my coffee, or wharever they were doing, I thought back to all the times I felt guilty or bad about sleeping in because of a comment made by someone close to me. That is when I said to myself (and everyone else in line) “what a bunch of bull.” Particularly from you older people who have had kids. You lived through this and yet you still gave me grief about it? You knew what was in store for me someday and you still commented? Jeez.

Well that is about it. Not really a very useful or insightful guest post. In fact, I might have offended my loved ones. If I did, just know that I am not trying to insult or belittle anyone. In fact, if you are mad, just let me know and I will help you see things from my perspective: I will call you next Saturday, and every Saturday after that when Lukas wakes up. Then we will be on the same page. Cool? Great.

And as for Lukas, since the internet will capture all knowledge and you will read this someday, just know that it is totally worth it and I am having a blast, even when you wake me up early.  Also, get your own beer...

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[1] It’s true, Luke has surpassed the famous Amos Chartrusian, of cookie fame, who was, up until last week, the happiest baby in the past 200 years (when they started keeping such records). Lukas eclipsed Amos’ single day record of 105 giggles, 45 guffaws, and 86 raspberries last Saturday with a startling 125 giggles, 53 guffaws and 248 (yes, 248) raspberries.