2 Parents, 2 Ways

The little man's fruncles are in town visiting.  What's a fruncle you ask?  A fruncle is an honorary uncle.  A close male friend of a child's parents.  Friend-Uncle = Fruncle.  Get it?  I don't know who coined the phrase, either Mr. Cob or one of the fruncles, but regardless, some one said it and it stuck. 

Mr. Cob's two best childhood friends are the two fruncles who are visiting right now.  Mr. Cob has been looking forward to their visit for months.  And now they're here.  Today they are home brewing cherry beer while I go to work.  They decided to keep the little man at home for the day rather than send him to school.  I asked Mr. Cob if he was sure he could handle watching him, brewing beer and doing whatever else guys do.  He reassured me that they'd be fine by telling me there were three of them, and one of Lukas, so not to worry.

My first thought was to worry.  The fruncles are both single and kid-less.  Neither of them have spent too much time around a baby, so I don't know how much help they'll be in the "taking care of baby" part.  But Mr. Cob will be home all day.  Mr. Cob is Lukas' father.  So I shouldn't be concerned at all about Lukas spending the whole day in his daddy's care.  But a small part of me is.  And I realized its because Mr. Cob has not spent an entire day with Lukas alone yet.  I guess I fear he doesn't know what to do with him.  But he's a smart man and what he doesn't know, he can figure out.

If I'm really being honest, the problem is that I know they'll be fine, but I'm pretty sure Mr. Cob won't do things with Lukas the way that I would do them.  And I need to be OK with that.  I need to realize that Mr. Cob is Lukas' daddy and he loves Lukas just as much as I do.  He will do what he thinks is best for him.  And while his parenting style may be different than mine, that's OK.  (And yes, you can have a "parenting style" with a 5 month old.  Really, you can.)  Lukas won't be harmed or worse off if he naps in his swing rather than in his crib.  And his belly will be full whether he eats his cereal at 10am or 11:30am. Or if he doesn't eat cereal at all and just has milk.

I need to relinquish control and give Mr. Cob the opportunity to take care of him.  I don't think I do this enough.  For instance in the middle of the night if Mr. Cob goes downstairs to try to soothe Lukas back to sleep, I can't help but stare at the monitor and eventually go down there and "help".  I'm sure this is frustrating to Mr. Cob.  He doesn't even have the chance to succeed.  I guess I always think that I'm right and that I know what is best.  But in reality, I don't.  I'm just guessing most of the time.

But today is different.  Today Mr. Cob is on his own.  I'm not there even if he does need or want my help.  I'm forced to stay away by virtue of distance.  I can't step in if I think Mr. Cob isn't doing something "my way".  I know they'll be fine, but oh what I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall!