Buddha has said, “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”
I'm trying to heed Buddha's words today, but finding it difficult. Last night I learned that my only brother is moving across the country in just four short months. I've been lucky to have him live less than 6 miles away for the past two and a half years. Which is perhaps why the news has been so hard to take. He's my only sibling and we've shared a lot growing up.
He was 3 when I was born in Rochester, NY. A year later we moved together to California. Seven years later we moved to Virginia. And three years later we moved to Massachusetts. With each move we were each other's only friend in a new, strange place. I always knew I could count on him. He was the constant in my childhood. But then my last move, in 1996, he didn't come with us. He was off to college in Richmond and I went off to Georgia. It was by far the worst and hardest move I've made. A huge reason was because my big brother wasn't there with me.
But we stayed close and visited often. He played soccer for the U of R spiders and we traveled to Richmond or wherever he was playing most weekends of the Fall. The first hour drive back to GA was always silent and a feeling of sorrow hung in the air. Mom, dad and I knew we were going back home without one of our family's key members. "Home" was never the same when Brent wasn't there. But all through college, we emailed and talked and he was always there for me. He came home for as many holidays and events as he could. My senior year in high school, Brent and his 4 soccer buddies accosted my prom date and threatened him with his life if he even thought of doing anything to me. He always protected me.
He graduated college in 2000 but stayed in Virginia for a bit. Then a strange turn of events brought him back to Georgia for a short time. And in the summer of 2001 we lived down in Florida at our parent's beach house together, just the two of us. While we were at very different places in our lives, it was time I'll always cherish. After that summer he moved back to Virginia to attend classes at VCU to take pre-req classes for his Doctor of PT program. It was there that he met his future wife, Ana Lisa. But then, he came back to Georgia to start his DPT program at Emory. All four members of our family were back home in Georgia. And we've been here ever since.
The Cesare-family circle of trust grew in 2006, when Brent and Ana Lisa got married. Then in 2008 the circle grew larger yet again - in July, Stuart was born and in August, I married Mr. Cob.
We've been very blessed to all live so close for this amount of time. Had you asked me back in 2000 if I thought Brent would move to Georgia, I'd tell you that you were crazy. But I was wrong and he lucky did move home. We've spent many late nights playing poker, Wise and Otherwise, Catchphrase, Huggermugger and Tripely together as a family. Mr. Cob and Brent got to play on the same soccer team and they forged a close bond. Ana truly is my sister, and not just because she's married to my brother. I love them very much and it's very difficult to know they'll be leaving soon. But I understand and totally support their decision. I just need to learn how to Skype and take a few more trips each year. And more than anything, I just need to cherish the time we do have together. So tonight, Mr. Cob and I are going to babysit Stuart and just love him and make as many memories as we can. And at least they're not moving to Siberia. It could be worse.
There's an old Italian proverb that says: "He who finds a friend, finds a treasure." I've been lucky enough to find a friend in my brother.
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