How far along? 28 weeks and 3 days
Total weight gain/loss? Up 27.1 pounds. So 2 pounds gained this week. But combine that with the 1.5 pounds LOST last week and I'm only up .5 pounds over the past 2 weeks. So we'll call it a quarter of a pound gained this week. Like my logic?
Maternity clothes? Oh yeah. And I'll be sporting my sexy maternity swim suit over the next few days. Be jealous.
Stretch marks? No new ones. And I found out this week that I've been mistakenly calling my new leg friends varicose veins when they are actually spider veins. (Thanks babycenter.com). And supposedly they'll fade after this little guy is born. Here's hoping.
Sleep? All over the board. Some nights are great, others are awful. I have been waking up with leg craps every other night which is less than relaxing.
Best moment last week? After I picked the little man up from school we were talking in the car and I asked him how his day was. He said good and then said "mommy, how was your day?" It was just so sweet. He also made the jump to big boy undies this week (with diapers at night) - so that was pretty cool too.
Movement? All day. You can now watch my stomach change shape in front of your eyes. It's somewhat freaky.
Food cravings? Back to the chocolate lavender scones from Dulce Vegan and Dunkin Donuts coffee.
Food aversions? Not really.
Gender? I'll be the only lady in the house...
Labor signs? The occasional Braxton Hicks contractions, but otherwise no.
Belly button in/out? Still more in than out.
What I miss: Sleeping/laying on my back. And red wine.
What I am looking forward to: The beach is calling my name.
Milestones: I'm officially in the 3rd trimester according to all pregnancy books/websites/doctors, etc. Woo hoo!
Friday, April 26, 2013
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Bump #2 @ 28 Weeks
28 weeks.
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No comparison picture from last time. Or next week. And week 30's from last time is freaky, so it'll be 3 weeks before you have to reassure me that I definitely am looking smaller this time around. You're welcome.
Friday, April 19, 2013
27 Weeks (Round 2)
How far along? 27 weeks and 3 days
Total weight gain/loss? Up 25.1 pounds. Which means I LOST 1.6 pounds this past week. A few thoughts on this strange turn of events. At my doctor's appointment Monday the nurse may or may not have audibly sighed/gasped when she realized I'd gained 9-10ish pounds in a month. This did not sit well with me. She then said it would even out over the next few months and that some months you just have bigger gains. Still, her noisy reaction was enough to get my butt moving. So since Monday I have walked on the treadmill every night before bed. We're not talking speed walking or anything crazy. We're talking slow 3.0 miles an hour walking while I watch whatever junk TV is on that day. So in turn I've hit at least 10,000 steps on my pedometer each day. I also have cooked almost all my meals at home this week and I've tried to decrease my carb intake and any mindless snacking. So perhaps I have more control of this weight gain thing than I thought or wanted to admit. Either way, I have more energy and don't feel quite as whale-like today.
Maternity clothes? The really isn't anything else at this point. I even went out last weekend and purchased three pairs of shorts for our upcoming vacation. Maternity shorts, the awful lighting in Macy's and a heightened body awareness does not a happy shopping experience make. Thankfully my mom and Lukas helped me pick a few things that looked "decent". I also picked up some maternity spanx to wear under dresses so I look ok from behind, but I've yet to convince myself to try them on. Maternity and spanx just don't seem to go together in my mind. We'll see. I did pick up a new Isabella Oliver maternity tunic that I'm loving as well! Online shopping has become a bit of an obsession lately (Do y'all look at GILT, HauteLook and Zulily? If you don't already you probably shouldn't start. It's possible I also have purchased 4 pairs of shoes online in the past few weeks thanks to these sites. Oops. Mr. Cob has instituted a new rule: when a new pair of shoes comes into the house, an old pair must leave. He thinks this will be some sort of deterent for me...he doesn't know the extent of my shoe collection...)
Stretch marks? None that I've really noticed (no new ones anyway). But the varicose veins could really stop showing up any day now. I mean for real.
Sleep? Up until last night it was great - only waking once a night to pee, easily finding a comfortable position to sleep in. But last night I was up from about 1:30am - 4am with insomnia. Hoping it was just a fluke.
Best moment last week? Hearing the little dude's heartbeat on the monitor at the OB's office is always pretty cool! Lukas also had a BIG potty breakthrough which was super exciting for him and us as parents. I think we might be on our way to big boy underpants here pretty soon! My massage last Friday afternoon was pretty amazing too. OH, and I found out that I PASSED my glucose test!!! It's been a good week.
Movement? Oh yea baby. But now I'm getting a little paranoid if I don't feel him for a while. Last night I was folding laundry and was convinced I hadn't felt him for hours so I started poking and prodding my belly to wake him up. He was less than thrilled and gave me a good ribcage kick to settle my fears. Thanks bud.
Food cravings? Red meat (which can't be all that bad since the doc told me my iron levels are great!), green smoothies in the morning (Almond milk, 3 cups of spinach, 1 frozen banana, Greek yogurt and a Tbsp of peanut butter), and homemade chicken salad.
Food aversions? Nope.
Gender? Boys have a penis.
Labor signs? The occasional Braxton Hicks contractions, but otherwise no.
Belly button in/out? In, but the top is starting to pop out. Very odd. Thankfully the belly button pain has subsided this week.
What I miss: Beer and "real" sushi.
What I am looking forward to: Vacation in 8 short days!!!
Milestones: This kid has a name. JRS are his initials.
Total weight gain/loss? Up 25.1 pounds. Which means I LOST 1.6 pounds this past week. A few thoughts on this strange turn of events. At my doctor's appointment Monday the nurse may or may not have audibly sighed/gasped when she realized I'd gained 9-10ish pounds in a month. This did not sit well with me. She then said it would even out over the next few months and that some months you just have bigger gains. Still, her noisy reaction was enough to get my butt moving. So since Monday I have walked on the treadmill every night before bed. We're not talking speed walking or anything crazy. We're talking slow 3.0 miles an hour walking while I watch whatever junk TV is on that day. So in turn I've hit at least 10,000 steps on my pedometer each day. I also have cooked almost all my meals at home this week and I've tried to decrease my carb intake and any mindless snacking. So perhaps I have more control of this weight gain thing than I thought or wanted to admit. Either way, I have more energy and don't feel quite as whale-like today.
Maternity clothes? The really isn't anything else at this point. I even went out last weekend and purchased three pairs of shorts for our upcoming vacation. Maternity shorts, the awful lighting in Macy's and a heightened body awareness does not a happy shopping experience make. Thankfully my mom and Lukas helped me pick a few things that looked "decent". I also picked up some maternity spanx to wear under dresses so I look ok from behind, but I've yet to convince myself to try them on. Maternity and spanx just don't seem to go together in my mind. We'll see. I did pick up a new Isabella Oliver maternity tunic that I'm loving as well! Online shopping has become a bit of an obsession lately (Do y'all look at GILT, HauteLook and Zulily? If you don't already you probably shouldn't start. It's possible I also have purchased 4 pairs of shoes online in the past few weeks thanks to these sites. Oops. Mr. Cob has instituted a new rule: when a new pair of shoes comes into the house, an old pair must leave. He thinks this will be some sort of deterent for me...he doesn't know the extent of my shoe collection...)
Stretch marks? None that I've really noticed (no new ones anyway). But the varicose veins could really stop showing up any day now. I mean for real.
Sleep? Up until last night it was great - only waking once a night to pee, easily finding a comfortable position to sleep in. But last night I was up from about 1:30am - 4am with insomnia. Hoping it was just a fluke.
Best moment last week? Hearing the little dude's heartbeat on the monitor at the OB's office is always pretty cool! Lukas also had a BIG potty breakthrough which was super exciting for him and us as parents. I think we might be on our way to big boy underpants here pretty soon! My massage last Friday afternoon was pretty amazing too. OH, and I found out that I PASSED my glucose test!!! It's been a good week.
Movement? Oh yea baby. But now I'm getting a little paranoid if I don't feel him for a while. Last night I was folding laundry and was convinced I hadn't felt him for hours so I started poking and prodding my belly to wake him up. He was less than thrilled and gave me a good ribcage kick to settle my fears. Thanks bud.
Food cravings? Red meat (which can't be all that bad since the doc told me my iron levels are great!), green smoothies in the morning (Almond milk, 3 cups of spinach, 1 frozen banana, Greek yogurt and a Tbsp of peanut butter), and homemade chicken salad.
Food aversions? Nope.
Gender? Boys have a penis.
Labor signs? The occasional Braxton Hicks contractions, but otherwise no.
Belly button in/out? In, but the top is starting to pop out. Very odd. Thankfully the belly button pain has subsided this week.
What I miss: Beer and "real" sushi.
What I am looking forward to: Vacation in 8 short days!!!
Milestones: This kid has a name. JRS are his initials.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
A Cause Dear to Our Hearts
If you've been a reader of the blog for some time now, then you know about Marco, our dear friends Chris and Emily's son, who passed away in September of 2011 due to an aggressive form of brain cancer. We were really just starting our friendship with Chris and Emily when Marco became sick, but they have quickly become great friends of ours.
Last year, in honor of Marco, Emily and Chris put together TEAM MARCO to help raise money to Cure Childhood Cancer and participate in the Lauren's Run and CURE Annual Picnic. Mr. Cob, Lukas and I attended the event and ran in honor and in memory of Marco. Our family is participating again this year and plan to annually continue this tradition of celebrating Marco's life.
While I won't be running this year, Mr. Cob has signed up for the 5K! In his words:
I will be running a 5K at the Cure Childhood Cancer Lauren's Run event this year, for the second time. I really only run after soccer balls, or for an extremely good cause. I am running with Team Marco in honor of Marco Giovinazzo. Marco was Lukas’ age and he passed away in September 2011 from brain cancer. Last year, Team Marco raised the most money and had a great presence at the event and I want to continue the tradition in memory of that sweet little boy. Please help us make another strong showing.
To make a donation you can visit my page:
https://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/ToddSwanson/2013-laurens-run-and-cure-annual-picnic
You can also visit Team Marco here and read about Marco on his mom’s page:
https://www.firstgiving.com/process/teamarea/default.asp?TeamId=227728 We really appreciate any amount you can give and thank you for your support of this worthy cause!
Last year, in honor of Marco, Emily and Chris put together TEAM MARCO to help raise money to Cure Childhood Cancer and participate in the Lauren's Run and CURE Annual Picnic. Mr. Cob, Lukas and I attended the event and ran in honor and in memory of Marco. Our family is participating again this year and plan to annually continue this tradition of celebrating Marco's life.
While I won't be running this year, Mr. Cob has signed up for the 5K! In his words:
I will be running a 5K at the Cure Childhood Cancer Lauren's Run event this year, for the second time. I really only run after soccer balls, or for an extremely good cause. I am running with Team Marco in honor of Marco Giovinazzo. Marco was Lukas’ age and he passed away in September 2011 from brain cancer. Last year, Team Marco raised the most money and had a great presence at the event and I want to continue the tradition in memory of that sweet little boy. Please help us make another strong showing.
To make a donation you can visit my page:
https://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/ToddSwanson/2013-laurens-run-and-cure-annual-picnic
You can also visit Team Marco here and read about Marco on his mom’s page:
https://www.firstgiving.com/process/teamarea/default.asp?TeamId=227728 We really appreciate any amount you can give and thank you for your support of this worthy cause!
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Bump #2 @ 27 Weeks
Third Trimester. What up.
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| 27 weeks w/JRS |
versus me last time....
 |
| 27 weeks w/Lukas |
Friday, April 12, 2013
26 Weeks (Round 2)
How far along? 26 weeks and 3 days
Total weight gain/loss? Up 26.7 pounds. But at least it's not "rapid weight gain"...then again, we'll see what my doctor says on Monday at my next appointment...7.8 pounds in 4 weeks sounds somewhat rapid to me. I also have the dreaded glucose test on Monday - here's hoping that I pass with flying colors and do not have to take the 3 hour test/have gestational diabetes.
Maternity clothes? You could say we're having a love affair.
Stretch marks? If there are any new ones I haven't really noticed them. Varicose veins on the other hand. WTF?
Sleep? Decent. I am getting up once per night to pee and have had some very strange dreams this week but luckily I'm pretty comfortable despite the whole not-sleeping-on-your-back thing.
Best moment last week? Spending time with my brother and nephew and seeing Lukas and his cousin play and laugh together. They were just so sweet with each other and kept hugging. Also, there have been some big potty training breakthroughs this week with Lukas that I won't bore you with, but they've been really exciting for him and us! I think a flip switched after he saw/realized that his big cousin doesn't wear diapers and uses the potty.
Movement? Lots. Always at night right as I'm laying down for bed and he is usually awake in the early evening and for a bit each morning.
Food cravings? Back to Dunkin Donuts coffee with the addition of chocolate (specifically, m&ms).
Food aversions? Nope.
Gender? Let's just say I might need these: http://www.bebabean.com/pee-pee-teepee/.
Labor signs? The Braxton Hicks contractions have returned, but I only notice them when I'm exerting myself (and by that I mean walking on the treadmill or around the block).
Belly button in/out? Still more in than out. However, a new fun "side effect" has been extreme sensitivity (verging on strong pain) around my belly button. Anyone else experience this?
What I miss: Sleeping on my back and martinis.
What I am looking forward to: The Christmas gift that keeps on giving: I have my 3rd pregnancy massage this afternoon!
Milestones: The third trimester is in sight. Woo hoo.
Total weight gain/loss? Up 26.7 pounds. But at least it's not "rapid weight gain"...then again, we'll see what my doctor says on Monday at my next appointment...7.8 pounds in 4 weeks sounds somewhat rapid to me. I also have the dreaded glucose test on Monday - here's hoping that I pass with flying colors and do not have to take the 3 hour test/have gestational diabetes.
Maternity clothes? You could say we're having a love affair.
Stretch marks? If there are any new ones I haven't really noticed them. Varicose veins on the other hand. WTF?
Sleep? Decent. I am getting up once per night to pee and have had some very strange dreams this week but luckily I'm pretty comfortable despite the whole not-sleeping-on-your-back thing.
Best moment last week? Spending time with my brother and nephew and seeing Lukas and his cousin play and laugh together. They were just so sweet with each other and kept hugging. Also, there have been some big potty training breakthroughs this week with Lukas that I won't bore you with, but they've been really exciting for him and us! I think a flip switched after he saw/realized that his big cousin doesn't wear diapers and uses the potty.
Movement? Lots. Always at night right as I'm laying down for bed and he is usually awake in the early evening and for a bit each morning.
Food cravings? Back to Dunkin Donuts coffee with the addition of chocolate (specifically, m&ms).
Food aversions? Nope.
Gender? Let's just say I might need these: http://www.bebabean.com/pee-pee-teepee/.
Labor signs? The Braxton Hicks contractions have returned, but I only notice them when I'm exerting myself (and by that I mean walking on the treadmill or around the block).
Belly button in/out? Still more in than out. However, a new fun "side effect" has been extreme sensitivity (verging on strong pain) around my belly button. Anyone else experience this?
What I miss: Sleeping on my back and martinis.
What I am looking forward to: The Christmas gift that keeps on giving: I have my 3rd pregnancy massage this afternoon!
Milestones: The third trimester is in sight. Woo hoo.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
A Sigh of Relief
Just a quick thought...
So I'm continuing my trend of gaining roughly 2 to 2.5 pounds per week right now (but you'll be happy to know I am spreading out my at-home weigh-ins and handn't weighed myself once over the past 4 days). The "experts" say pregnant women should be gaining roughly one pound a week at this point in pregnancy. Well I say to hell with them and just got confirmation of my "f*ck you" this morning.
You see, according to my weekly report from babycenter about this pregnancy, I should really calm down unless I experience "rapid weight gain." Rapid weight gain is defined as "more than 4 pounds in a week."
2.5 pounds does not rapid weight gain equal.
So the experts can go suck it.
That is all.
So I'm continuing my trend of gaining roughly 2 to 2.5 pounds per week right now (but you'll be happy to know I am spreading out my at-home weigh-ins and handn't weighed myself once over the past 4 days). The "experts" say pregnant women should be gaining roughly one pound a week at this point in pregnancy. Well I say to hell with them and just got confirmation of my "f*ck you" this morning.
You see, according to my weekly report from babycenter about this pregnancy, I should really calm down unless I experience "rapid weight gain." Rapid weight gain is defined as "more than 4 pounds in a week."
2.5 pounds does not rapid weight gain equal.
So the experts can go suck it.
That is all.
Bump #2 @ 26 Weeks
We were in a hurry this morning and I am having a rough hair day (perhaps because we were running late...) but I do want to keep up with the weekly documentation of this growing belly again. So here I am at 26 weeks today with #2.
And for comparison's sake, here I was @ 26 weeks with Lukas.
Friday, April 5, 2013
25 Weeks (Round 2)
How far along? 25 weeks and 3 days
Total weight gain/loss? Up around 24 pounds - I haven't weighed in 3 days so I don't know the exact number. But rest assured, I'm gaining, not losing weight.
Maternity clothes? All day, every day.
Stretch marks? Old ones are definitely getting darker. And to top it off, I noticed some varicose veins on my leg this week.
Sleep? Pretty good. I am sleeping through the night without any need for bathroom break and I'm not terribly uncomfortable yet.
Best moment last week? Picking my big brother and nephew up from the airport Wednesday night! And spending the weekend with them. So great to see them!!
Movement? Oh yea.
Food cravings? Red meat, peanut butter and the chocolate/lavender scones from the vegan bakery near my house.
Food aversions? Nope.
Gender? Almond Joy.
Labor signs? Nope.
Belly button in/out? More in than out, for the moment.
What I miss: Red, red wine.
What I am looking forward to: Continuing this great weekend with my family! We have some fun things on the agenda (started with a birthday celebration dinner for my dad last night, a day off work today - even though Lukas woke up at 6:30am ready to go for the day, a trip to Monkey Joes with the kiddos) and a zoo trip and baseball game to come!
Milestones: I am 95% certain we've picked a name. First and Middle. Still debating the Last though.
Total weight gain/loss? Up around 24 pounds - I haven't weighed in 3 days so I don't know the exact number. But rest assured, I'm gaining, not losing weight.
Maternity clothes? All day, every day.
Stretch marks? Old ones are definitely getting darker. And to top it off, I noticed some varicose veins on my leg this week.
Sleep? Pretty good. I am sleeping through the night without any need for bathroom break and I'm not terribly uncomfortable yet.
Best moment last week? Picking my big brother and nephew up from the airport Wednesday night! And spending the weekend with them. So great to see them!!
Movement? Oh yea.
Food cravings? Red meat, peanut butter and the chocolate/lavender scones from the vegan bakery near my house.
Food aversions? Nope.
Gender? Almond Joy.
Labor signs? Nope.
Belly button in/out? More in than out, for the moment.
What I miss: Red, red wine.
What I am looking forward to: Continuing this great weekend with my family! We have some fun things on the agenda (started with a birthday celebration dinner for my dad last night, a day off work today - even though Lukas woke up at 6:30am ready to go for the day, a trip to Monkey Joes with the kiddos) and a zoo trip and baseball game to come!
Milestones: I am 95% certain we've picked a name. First and Middle. Still debating the Last though.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
The Universe Speaks
Ok, so after getting my woe-is-me bitching out of the way yesterday the Universe decided to tell me to shut up. (What, the Universe doesn't talk to you? It does, you're just not listening. Really.) In less than 24 hours I have had no less than 4 things happen telling me to zip it and embrace this belly, big butt and boobs.
Universe smack down #1: Last night as I was perusing the internet in bed I read a few blog posts that lead me to this one: These are the Lines of a Story. It is a blog post written by a mom of 3 little boys (including a set of twins) about accepting her post-partum body. While I'm currently pre-partum with #2, the post was inspiring and eye-opening for me. I love her ah ha moment and how she responds to her son telling her "Your belly is funny." It made me wonder how I would respond if Lukas were to ask me about the stretch marks behind my knees, along my hips and on my tush. Would I criticize my body in front of him or would I be able to embrace it and tell him that they are the lines of his story. That they became a party of mommy's body when mommy was growing him. I'd like to hope I'd choose the latter. I realized that it really is all about perspective.
Universe smack down #2: Within minutes of reading the body image blog post, I checked Facebook and had a message waiting for me from a dear friend. The point of her message was to tell me about the insensitive thing someone had said to her about her appearance along the lines of "Are you pregnant" when my friend was not, in fact, pregnant. (It was the second email I'd received in 2 days about insensitive things women had been asked by friends/strangers - glad to know I'm not alone ladies! Clearly the world at large could use a lesson from Miss Manners.) But within the email my friend said that the woman's comment was even more stinging because she'd been trying to get pregnant to no avail for many months. I don't know if my friend had even read my blog post from yesterday, but it was a reminder that I really am lucky to be pregnant at all. There are many different "side effects" of pregnancy, and excessive weight gain is one of mine, but I'm doing something that lots of women wish they were doing. I'm growing another life and that is not something to take lightly or to be forgetten in the whole scheme of things.
Universe smack down #3: Continuing my internet reading I next ran across a headline that said "Kim Kardashian Bulking Up for Weight Watchers Contract?" and continued to speculate that Kim K was "packing on the [pregnancy] pounds" in hopes of landing a six-figure weight watchers ad. And I did a silent "thank you God" that I am not a celebrity whose pregnancy weight is under scrutiny and constant camera attention. Leave the poor girl alone people!
So I went to bed last night feeling a little silly for being so down on myself for my weight gain and resolved to get a grip on my self-hate. But the universe wasn't done with me just yet and wanted to make sure my 'tude was properly adjusted.
Universe smack down #4: After my shower this morning I was in the bathroom, make-up free and my hair tied in a knot on my head. Naked. I was inspecting my growing bump and changing body in the mirror while the husband showered. I noticed him staring at me and as the self doubt started creeping in again, I barked "what???" at him, but he just smiled and said "You look absolutely beautiful." Not the words I was expecting, which he must have gathered by the confused look on my face (note that he hadn't read yesterday's blog post and didn't know I was struggling with my changing body). He then followed it up with "You just look so feminine." And he continued to smile at me.
Ok, Universe, I get it. I need to offer myself some grace and be thankful for what this changing body is doing. And perhaps I'll take a break from my every morning scale hopping. Once a week is probably more than enough.
I've also decided that at least 6 of the pounds has gone straight to my boobs and must admit that they look fabulous in the dress I'm wearing today. So what if another 10 has gone to my butt, at least I have big boobs for once (or twice) in my life! How's that perspective for you?
Universe smack down #1: Last night as I was perusing the internet in bed I read a few blog posts that lead me to this one: These are the Lines of a Story. It is a blog post written by a mom of 3 little boys (including a set of twins) about accepting her post-partum body. While I'm currently pre-partum with #2, the post was inspiring and eye-opening for me. I love her ah ha moment and how she responds to her son telling her "Your belly is funny." It made me wonder how I would respond if Lukas were to ask me about the stretch marks behind my knees, along my hips and on my tush. Would I criticize my body in front of him or would I be able to embrace it and tell him that they are the lines of his story. That they became a party of mommy's body when mommy was growing him. I'd like to hope I'd choose the latter. I realized that it really is all about perspective.
Universe smack down #2: Within minutes of reading the body image blog post, I checked Facebook and had a message waiting for me from a dear friend. The point of her message was to tell me about the insensitive thing someone had said to her about her appearance along the lines of "Are you pregnant" when my friend was not, in fact, pregnant. (It was the second email I'd received in 2 days about insensitive things women had been asked by friends/strangers - glad to know I'm not alone ladies! Clearly the world at large could use a lesson from Miss Manners.) But within the email my friend said that the woman's comment was even more stinging because she'd been trying to get pregnant to no avail for many months. I don't know if my friend had even read my blog post from yesterday, but it was a reminder that I really am lucky to be pregnant at all. There are many different "side effects" of pregnancy, and excessive weight gain is one of mine, but I'm doing something that lots of women wish they were doing. I'm growing another life and that is not something to take lightly or to be forgetten in the whole scheme of things.
Universe smack down #3: Continuing my internet reading I next ran across a headline that said "Kim Kardashian Bulking Up for Weight Watchers Contract?" and continued to speculate that Kim K was "packing on the [pregnancy] pounds" in hopes of landing a six-figure weight watchers ad. And I did a silent "thank you God" that I am not a celebrity whose pregnancy weight is under scrutiny and constant camera attention. Leave the poor girl alone people!
So I went to bed last night feeling a little silly for being so down on myself for my weight gain and resolved to get a grip on my self-hate. But the universe wasn't done with me just yet and wanted to make sure my 'tude was properly adjusted.
Universe smack down #4: After my shower this morning I was in the bathroom, make-up free and my hair tied in a knot on my head. Naked. I was inspecting my growing bump and changing body in the mirror while the husband showered. I noticed him staring at me and as the self doubt started creeping in again, I barked "what???" at him, but he just smiled and said "You look absolutely beautiful." Not the words I was expecting, which he must have gathered by the confused look on my face (note that he hadn't read yesterday's blog post and didn't know I was struggling with my changing body). He then followed it up with "You just look so feminine." And he continued to smile at me.
Ok, Universe, I get it. I need to offer myself some grace and be thankful for what this changing body is doing. And perhaps I'll take a break from my every morning scale hopping. Once a week is probably more than enough.
I've also decided that at least 6 of the pounds has gone straight to my boobs and must admit that they look fabulous in the dress I'm wearing today. So what if another 10 has gone to my butt, at least I have big boobs for once (or twice) in my life! How's that perspective for you?
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
25 Week Non Picture
I'm 25 weeks pregnant today. And I don't have a picture to share. And I'm not going to share one later today simply because I feel like an obese whale and see no sense in documenting this feeling.
My body is hoarding fat and piling on the pounds. I'm not kidding. Between Friday morning and this morning (4 days), I have gained 3.4 pounds.
Yesterday alone I gained ONE POUND. Did I eat ice cream out of the carton or fries dipped in cheese sauce all while lying on the couch eating a side of bon bons? No. I watched what I ate throughout the day, didn't binge on snacks or eat a thing after dinner. I had 8 servings of fruits and vegetables. I walked 10,000+ steps over the course of the day. I walked on the treadmill last night for a mile. All AFTER sweating and swearing my way through a 45 minute pregnancy workout DVD with weights! I even pooped yesterday (not a given for any pregnant woman, just ask her). And yet I still gained ONE FUCKING POUND.
I am trying not to freak out about this. Clearly I am failing. I know I should be overjoyed that I am pregnant and growing another life and I am so thrilled about these things and know that I am in a position that many women struggling with fertility only wish they were in. But that doesn't erase the anxiety and the feelings of disgust that are consuming my head right now.
And I still have 15 more weeks to go.
Maybe today I should eat ice cream, bagels and deep fried oreos while sitting on the couch doing nothing. It doesn't seem to matter either way, so what is the point in trying?
My body is hoarding fat and piling on the pounds. I'm not kidding. Between Friday morning and this morning (4 days), I have gained 3.4 pounds.
Yesterday alone I gained ONE POUND. Did I eat ice cream out of the carton or fries dipped in cheese sauce all while lying on the couch eating a side of bon bons? No. I watched what I ate throughout the day, didn't binge on snacks or eat a thing after dinner. I had 8 servings of fruits and vegetables. I walked 10,000+ steps over the course of the day. I walked on the treadmill last night for a mile. All AFTER sweating and swearing my way through a 45 minute pregnancy workout DVD with weights! I even pooped yesterday (not a given for any pregnant woman, just ask her). And yet I still gained ONE FUCKING POUND.
I am trying not to freak out about this. Clearly I am failing. I know I should be overjoyed that I am pregnant and growing another life and I am so thrilled about these things and know that I am in a position that many women struggling with fertility only wish they were in. But that doesn't erase the anxiety and the feelings of disgust that are consuming my head right now.
And I still have 15 more weeks to go.
Maybe today I should eat ice cream, bagels and deep fried oreos while sitting on the couch doing nothing. It doesn't seem to matter either way, so what is the point in trying?
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