Questionable Mothering Tactics

I feel like it's been a while since I've written a "keeping it real" post.  So let me enlighten everyone with the reality that I seriously question my parenting skills more often than I admit.

1.  My child dipped his macaroni and cheese in KETCHUP this week.  And I let it happen.  And kept adding more ketchup.  This is just gross.

2.  Lukas wears bright green sneakers every single day.  No matter what else he is wearing - khakis and a cute button down or sweat pants and a bright blue tee shirt - he has on neon green Saucony sneakers.  He refuses to wear anything else.

3.  I am manipulated every night at bedtime.  I always read one more book.  (The other night I counted a total of 9 books read.  Really, nine.)  I always let Lukas go "pee pee on the potty" again even if he just went and I KNOW he will not go again.  This involves a 5 minutes process of Lukas taking of his pajamas himself and putting them back on after he has sat on the potty and sung songs for a few minutes without any pee pee occurring.  Then,  I let him give daddy "one more kiss" and then 5 minutes later to go "hug daddy" and a few minutes later to "tell daddy night-night".  Then we rock and rock and rock some more.  Eventually he gets in his crib and then I follow his command of "mommy lay down right there".  Until I think it's safe to sneak out.  Bedtime has become an hour long ordeal.  Part of me loves it.  I know he won't want to spend this much time with me forever.  But I also realize I am being completely manipulated by a 2 year old.

4.  We're no longer anti-TV.  The little dude watches Little Einsteins, Bob the Builder, Thomas, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or Sesame Street just about every Saturday morning.  Sometimes for at least an hour.  I'm usually checking email or otherwise playing on the ipad.  Occasionally I'll fold laundry or clean while he's zoned in to the boob tube, but typically I just zonk out myself.

5.  Lukas may have had a cupcake for breakfast last Saturday morning.  His auntie had just left and he was very upset that he wasn't getting ON the jumbo jet with her.  So we decided to treat ourselves to breakfast at the Highland Bakery since it was early and we were already out.  Lukas was still upset and the big display of cupcakes upon entering the bakery diverted his attention.  And then we just had to give him one.  Oops.  Oh, he also might have still been in his footy pajamas.  In public.  Double oops.

So what about you?  Do you have any stellar parenting skills to share?

Words are Powerful

In college a "friend" once called me a "thunder-thighed lipstick lesbian" in a very mean email.  There was also an attachment to a picture of a purple ram-headed d*ldo (I still have no idea what the picture was supposed to stand for or mean.)  This was ten years ago.  You'd think I would have forgotten it by now, but the fact is I haven't.

 

If you knew me in college, you know that I was the farthest thing from a lesbian.  (Well, as long as we're not counting that one time.)  I was a bit boy crazy.  And I had a tendency to drink too much and hit on whatever boy happened to be standing next to me.  A lesbian I was not.  That part of the email I thought was just silly.  If anything I took it as a compliment because the "lipstick" part implied that I was pretty.

 

But the words before that hurt.  She called me thunder-thighed.  If you google the term it is defined as "A pejorative term for a person with large thighs, alluding to the sound of thighs hitting against each other."  Or "THUNDER THIGHS" are a fat girls thighs that are so humongous, big & fat that they clap together when they walk. This produces a loud noise which goes like "SLAP, SLAP, SLAP" , hence the "thunder" part of the word."

 

I maybe weighed 125 pounds in college.  I was a size 4.  I was a swimmer growing up and had an athletic build.  But I did not have huge legs.   True, I weighed more than the waif-thin girl who said these ugly words to me.  And I wish I could've let her comment role off my chest, but the truth is that ever since she said the words I've been very self-conscious of my legs.  Part of me thought she was right.  I don't like to wear too short of skirts because I think my thighs are big.  And I hate my knees.  The intention of this girl in saying these words to me was to hurt me.  And she did.  And now it's time to let it go.

 

I think it's funny that this girl has tried to friend me on facebook multiple times over the past few years. I always decline the request.  Perhaps she doesn't even recall saying these words to me.  But that's the thing about words.  Once you say them, you can't take them back.  They're out there.  And you may not think the words you say will have an impact on another person.  But they very well may.  So be careful with your words.  As my mom always told me growing up, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. 

 

But the wonderful thing about words is that they can be used to uplift us as well.  If you do have something nice to say, SAY IT.  A kind word or words of encouragement can strengthen someone who is struggling.  Your words can boost the confidence of someone who is doubting themselves.  They can put a smile on someone's face.  And you just never know when your words might impact someone so greatly that your words stay with them for years. 

 

Be careful with your words, but also be generous with the kind ones.

Month of Thanks

I know, I know, I've been MIA on the blog this past month.  I miss writing, I do.  It's just been a busy month and creating time to write has been difficult.  But it has been a great month despite the busy-ness. 

 

In a nutshell: I spent a weekend in Athens with my best gals from law school.  Lukas turned two. I worked.  A lot.  Mr. Cob's sister ("Auntie Al") came to town for Thanksgiving.  I ran a half marathon on Thanksgiving morning.  We hosted Thanksgiving dinner at our house.  I didn't cook a single dish.  We bought a Christmas tree and decorated it with obnoxious blinking colored lights (which I must admit Lukas loves). 

 

And in four days it will be December.  Seriously father time, SLOW DOWN!

 

With all that is going on in life I've enjoyed reading some friends' 30-days of gratitude on facebook.  It has caused me to step back and remember and honor all that I am thankful for.  Sometimes it is easy to get bogged down in the humdrum of every day life that I forget how truly blessed I am.  So as this month of Thanksgiving wraps up, I'd like to share some of the things I am most thankful for:

 

• My health, because really, without your health, where are you?
• A supportive husband who makes me laugh daily.  He lets me be me and never expects me to be anything else.
• My mom.  She is a true role model for parenting and is the embodiment of selflessness.  She does so much for me and for those that she loves.  I wouldn't be the woman I am today or the mom that I am if it weren't for her support, love and guidance.
• My daddy.  He's my #1 fan - always has been, always will be.  I love that he still waits outside waving at me every single time I pull out of his driveway, making sure I safely get on my way.
• Lukas.  My son.  I am so thankful for this child and everything he has brought to my life.  His laugh may be the one thing I am most thankful for.  It is contagious and mood changing. His smile and hugs and kisses warm my heart.  I'm also thankful for the harder lessons he's helping me learn - patience, for one.  You cannot rush a grouchy toddler in the morning.
• My brother.  He may live across the country and we may not talk every day or ever week, but I know he is always there for me.  I am thankful that he gave me the sweetest nephew in the world!
• My girlfriends, both near and far.  They help me laugh when I am sad, they cheer me along in my successes, they listen when I need to talk, they understand when I don't, they love always.  And most of them know how to pick a good bottle of wine and always have time to share a glass.
• My in-laws.  I am thankful for wonderful in-laws and a great sister-in-law and brother-in-law.  They are a blessing in my life and my son's life for sure!
• My job.  I don't always love being a lawyer, but I am grateful to have a job in this economy and a new office that looks over the Atlanta skyline.

I could go on and on, as I truly am thankful for all the wonderful things in my life.  Thanks to all of you who make my life what it is. 

Lukas is TWO!

Today is a very special day.  Our little guy Lukas is TWO years old today!!!  We started the day off with some singing, although I'm not sure you'd say it went very well.  What do you think?

And in keeping with the birthday tradition I started last year, here is my birthday letter to Lukas this year:

November 8, 2012

Lukas on his 2nd birthday!

Dear my sweet son Lukas,

Today you are TWO years old. Or as you say it, you’re “one, two”. In many ways it feels like just yesterday that I met you at the hospital the day you were born, but a lot has happened in two years. In fact, a lot has happened since you turned ONE last year! You haven’t been a baby for a while now. You’ve been this sweet, silly toddler. And then sometime over these past 12 months you turned into a little boy. You’re growing up too fast!

You’re still going to school at Primrose in Midtown and you love it! Just last week I dropped you off and you pushed me out the door – “bye bye mommy!” It warms my heart to know you like being with you friends and teachers at school! A year ago your teachers were Ms. Hope and Ms. Tyra. Then in January you moved from the infant 4 class to Toddler 1 with Ms. Peavey and Ms. Vaughn. Your buddies (the boys club) were all still together then. You, Nate, Rome, Sawyer and Bennett. They were your first friends. But over the past year they’ve moved on to different schools, states and classrooms. Rome moved to Texas in June and you’ve been “missing Rome” ever since. For months after he left I’d ask you who you played with at school that day and you’d always say Rome. Now when we talk about Rome you say “Rome’s gone.” I think you still miss your BFF. In August you moved into the Early Preschool Class with Mrs. Pitts and Mrs. McGregor and made new friends. Nate is next door so thankfully you see him often. You’re already learning how to pee pee on the potty at school and I’m told you are one of the happiest boys in the class.

You LOVE books more than just about anything. Every night before bed we read between 3 and 8 books. You simply cannot get enough. And you’re a smart little boy – you know all the words to many of the books we read. You can recite Just Like my Mum; Happy Hippo ,Angry Duck; Goodnight Moon and We’re going on a Bear Hunt. Your current favorite book is Happy Halloween, Biscuit that PopPop and Nana gave you for Halloween. You also love Winnie the Pooh: Colors. The first picture is of Pooh floating with a blue balloon. Mommy says “Pooh floats under a…” and you say “balloon”. Then when I ask you what color it is, you never say blue. You always say green or red or brown and then start laughing because you KNOW it is blue! When you see piglet you point to him and say “he’s like a pig” and Tigger is “like a tiger”.

Your favorite saying right now is “Lukas do it.” You do NOT want mommy and daddy to do anything for you. You want to put your PJs on, zip them up, put the waffle in the toaster, butter the waffle, flush the toilet, climb in the car, and the list goes on and on. You are becoming quite the independent boy! I’m having a hard time letting you do things on your own, but your strong will is quickly overpowering my desire to baby you. And you do ask for help when you need it!

Your second favorite thing to say right now is NO. Loudly. Repeatedly. You say no a lot if mommy has to wake you up in the morning. Let’s just say you’re not exactly a morning person if you don’t get to wake up on your own terms.

You love dinosaurs and we hunt for them in the car. The T-Rex is usually hiding in the park. The T-Rex is also scary! You also love construction machines – earth movers, bulldozers and dump trucks. We spend many car rides searching for bulldozers. You like to tell me that they move dirt.

You know your ABC’s (although you get a bit jumbled in the middle) and you can count to 11. You love to sing and many mornings I wake up to your sweet voice singing the Itsy Bitsy Spider or The Muffin Man or the Thomas and Friends Theme song. Speaking of Thomas, you love choo choo trains. You ask to do your Thomas puzzle every day and on the weekends you like to watch Thomas, Little Einsteins and Mickey Mouse clubhouse. You also love jumbo jets and if you ever see or hear one in the sky you get very excited and yell JUMBO JET! And the jumbo jet (according to you) is always going to either California or Chicago.

You also love sports on TV. You ask to watch football and baseball whenever you see the TV. And your daddy is teaching you to swing a bat, kick a soccer ball and “hike” the football and then run for a touchdown (which you do with one finger held very high in the air). You also love to dance whenever music is on, even if we’re in the car. You request certain songs from daddy (Electric Car, Dino, Speed & Velocity, Take a Walk and Teaspoon are the current favorites). You’re a very busy little boy!

Buddy I am so proud to be your momma (as you still often call me – sometimes it’s mommy). You truly bring so much light to me and your daddy’s lives and it’s honestly hard to remember what our life was like before you were part of it. I love being your mommy more than anything in the world. I will always be here for you. I will always be your home.

Happy 2nd birthday Lukas!

Love,

Momma

UGA Law 5 Year Reunion

This year marks 5 years since I graduated law school.  This means I've known the friends I've made in law school for 8 years.  Since I was 23 years old.  These "law school friends" are arguably some of the best I've made my entire life.  They've been with me through really hard times (the first year of law school comes to mind...finals...the bar exam...to name a few).  They've also been with me through some of the happiest times of my life (meeting my now husband...celebrating with us at our wedding...throwing me my baby shower...supporting me as a new mom....and this list could go on and on).

These women are my sisters.  I love them more than I could ever express.  And I am impressed and awed by them all.  I am lucky to have them as friends.

We all met in Athens this weekend to celebrate 5 years of lawyering 8 years of friendship.  What I recall of the weekend was fabulous.  We drank too much wine.  We laughed.  We reminisced.  A tear or two may have been shed.  We shopped.  We laughed some more. 

I'm always sad the day after spending a weekend with my ladies because I know it'll be months before we're all back together again. And while I may often regret having gone to law school, I'd do it all over again because I can't imagine not having you girls in my life!

Until next time....

Where's the Love?

Please check out my latest post on Dr. Z and Friends:  Trying to Do it All - Love

Here's a sneak peak....

So let’s talk about love. One of the hardest roles to juggle as a mom, in between work, friendships and parenting, is finding time for romance. In trying to do it all, I suspect I’m not alone in finding that my love life takes a back seat to, well, just about everything else.

Enjoy!  And leave a comment on Dr. Z!