Recommitting, Publicly

I haven't talked about my post-baby weight loss journey in a while.  But now that it's been over a YEAR since the baby was born, coupled with the fact that I am back down to my pre-baby weight,  I think it's safe to simply call it my "weight loss" journey at this point.  I do have a magic number in my head that I'd like to get down to, but aside from that, what I really want is to tone up.  I feel all flabby and jiggly.  I lost a lot of muscle during my 9 months of pregnancy followed by my year of inconsistent/nonexistent working out.  I mean, I used to have a butt, and now, nada.  (And the ironic thing is that when I had the butt, I thought it was too big.  Turns out, I prefer a bigger butt to a flatter butt. Who knew.)

 

So, now that the turkey is behind us, I'm recommitting to this weight-loss, exercise thing.  I'm going to be diligent about entering my food into weight watchers each day and get on the exercise train again.  As for the food, this will be more challenging now since I changed my weight watchers settings from "nursing mother who supplements baby's diet with food" (i.e. 36 points a day allotment) to "not a nursing mother" (i.e. 29 points a day allotment).  Ah, so you say reading between the lines, she stopped nursing.  I actually have not stopped, but figure that since I'm just nursing in the morning and before bedtime, I'm not as worried about my supply and don't think my body needs the extra calories anymore.  I could be wrong.  We'll see how things go.  So if you see me drinking more water than wine these days, it's not because I'm pregnant (I'm not), it's because I'm trying to sexify myself.  (Oh who am I kidding, I'll still drink the wine.  I'll just have to eat a salad rather than a sandwich.  There is always a way to drink the wine.  Always.)

 

And on the exercise front, considering the fact that I belong to TWO gyms (one within a block of my office) and we have a treadmill in the basement, I really have no excuse.  I even took it a step further today by bringing in my "old" running shoes to keep in my office and I ordered a bunch of makeup online so I have a makeup bag here too.  Since my gym provides clothes, towels, shampoo, soap, hairdryers, etc. there is no reason I can't get to the gym a few days a week.  Today, I went to a Zumba class at lunch.  And you know what, it was the most fun I've had in a while.  I forget how much fun dancing around to hip hop and Latin music can be!  I look like a fool, no doubt, but it's a great break from sitting on my ass staring at a computer screen all day.  Tomorrow I'm going to try a power pilates class at the gym.  And maybe, just maybe, I'll get crazy and go to a spinning class later this week.

 

So there you have it.  I'll check in and let you know how I'm doing.  My "short term" goal is to lose 5 pounds by New Years Eve.  I figure I need to bring sexy back before I get fat all over again with Baby #2....

From that to this

 A year ago, this was my little man...

And here he was this morning...

It's so crazy how much he's changed in a year.  I feel like it's going by so quickly.  I'm starting to get more and more comments that "it's time to add a new baby".  No, no its not.

Lukas may not be a "baby" anymore, but I'm not ready to increase our roost to six.  (The dog and cat count.)  He's in this amazing stage and I want to keep all my attention on him for a while longer. 

He's so silly and likes playing "jokes".  He starts to hand you something (toy, cracker, sock) and then when you reach for it, he pulls it back and starts giggling.  His laugh is infectious.

When he wakes up in the morning, he's begun singing in his crib.  He just lays on his back staring at the walls and sings.  I find myself staring at the monitor just watching him with a big smile on my face.  (He jumps up the minute he hears his door open, so I can't sneak in and watch him in person.)

He loves books.  Mr. Cob and I keep catching him sitting in his room flipping through books one page at a time.  Hopefully this love will continue and he'll enjoy reading his whole life.

He gives kisses and hugs.  But he also likes to run free and won't let you hold him if he doesn't want to be held.  But he always "checks in" with us every few minutes and then is off running around again.

In a word, he's simply happy.

I also have a hard time believing I've been a mom for a year (and some change).  In many ways, it feels like I've been doing this for much longer; in others, it's clear I'm still "new" at it.

Striking a balance between work, life, and family is a struggle most days.  I think balance is the wrong word and I've stopped really trying to strive for it since it's rare that the stars align and everything goes perfectly in one day. 

And I do love being a mom.  I love being Lukas' mom and hearing him say "mama" when he sees me.  I love his slobbery kisses.  I love watching him grow and learn new things every day.  I love watching him as he takes in the world and is mesmerized by things that don't cause me to think twice.  I love rocking him to sleep every night before bed and having dance parties with him in the mornings. 

I am blessed beyond belief. 

And in this week of Thanksgiving, I am so thankful to have this little man in my life.

Friday smiles!

Birthday Party Bust

So, as you know from here, the little man turned one last week. And after much debate, I had decided to throw a party.

I sent out the evite (complete with corny poem). 22 adults and 8 kiddos were coming over. I planned the menu, bought the food, ordered the supplies for the party favors, had the house cleaned, had the lawn gussied up, welcomed the in-laws after an 11 plus hour drive from Chicago and may or may not have obsessively hunted down a pair of boots on ebay to wear to the party along with buying new skinny jeans, but I won't admit anything. (What, you thought the baby turning one was about him? No, no. It's about celebrating the fact that a year prior I pushed an 8 pound kid out of my you-know-what and lived to tell about it. Really, birthdays should be about the mother, not the kid. Also, it's about celebrating the milestone of making it as parents for a full year without royally screwing up. There's still plenty of time for that.)

So, Friday night before the party I was sitting on the couch decorating the sippy cup party favors when I suddenly stood up and proclaimed to the room, "I think I'm going to throw up."  Sure enough, I was suddenly hit with the stomach flu. It was ugly. Turned out my mom had it too after spending Thursday afternoon watching Lukas. He was the carrier. Damn daycare bug. First thing Saturday morning, I made the decision to call off the party planned for that afternoon. I figured no one else need to suffer through the hell that had been my Friday night. So in the end, the Lukas' first birthday party didn't happen.

Mr. Cob wanted to somewhat salvage the day, so we still had a mini party with his parents - I slept on and off in my sweat pants on the couch, Mr. Cob made the chili, Grandma Kae made the dip and Lukas thoroughly enjoyed his frosting cake. After turning himself green, Mr. Cob and I gave Lukas a bath before bed and all was going well, when suddenly Mr. Cob yelled "what IS that!?!". I look over and Lukas was holding a big turd in his hand. Yup, he pooped in the tub. Sigh. We cleaned him up, sanitized the tub and all his toys, put Lukas to bed and then I took a sleeping pill and tucked myself into bed. Three hours later I woke up to a noise coming through the monitor. I turned the video on and saw Lukas standing up in bed, not crying or really doing anything at all. So I drowsily walked downstairs, opened his door and instantly knew from the stench: he threw up. Green vomit was EVERYWHERE. Double sigh. So I spent the next hour cleaning and doing more laundry and then didn't sleep another wink fearful of Lukas throwing up in his sleep again. Sunday morning he was fine, and happy as a peach. I was exhausted. Thankfully Mr. Cob never got the flu (we practically quarantined him since he had a big jury trial in Federal court starting the following Monday that he was trying all by himself and could not afford to get sick), and the grandparents seemed to be out of the woods when they left Tuesday morning. Turns out they're weren't and the flu had a delayed response time. They both were sick by Tuesday evening.

So, yea, Lukas' first birthday didn't exactly turn out as planned.

Maybe next year....

Green Baby

We gave Lukas cake for his birthday this weekend.  Do you think he liked it?

Lukas' First Birthday Letter

Today is my baby boy's FIRST BIRTHDAY!  I can't believe it.  Here he is a year ago - the day he was born:

 And here he is today:

(and one family photo from this past weekend)...

This year has gone by so fast and so slow at the same time.  I've cried more in the past two days than I anticipated - I'm very emotional about my little baby growing up.  It's true what they say, it goes so fast!

And in what I hope to make a yearly tradition to Lukas and all my future kiddos, here is my birthday letter to my son on his first birthday:

My dearest Lukas,

Today you turned one year old!  I can hardly believe that a year has passed since I first laid eyes on you.  At 2:50pm on Monday, November 8, 2010 you, my sweet son, entered this world.  And you stole my heart that very same minute.  The instant love and joy that I felt upon meeting you was the happiest moment of my life.  And without a doubt, the past year has been the happiest of my life.

I remember being so nervous riding in the car home from the hospital with you.  Daddy was driving and I was sitting in the backseat staring at you the entire ride.  We got you home and I was so happy and so scared at the same time.  You were just this tiny little guy, but you were our guy and we loved you more than we imagined possible.  Grandma Kae and Grandpa Paul were home waiting for us to arrive and they stayed a week helping us learn how to become parents.  Grandma Sip Sip and Grandpa Up lived only 35 minutes away, so they came by often in those first weeks to help mommy and daddy care for you.

You nursed from day one and are still nursing today, 365 days later.   In the first month or two, you ate ever 2-3 hours and we spent most of our days sitting on the couch while you nursed.  I credit nursing as a huge factor in our bonding.  You loved skin-to-skin contact and sleeping on mommy or daddy's chest.  As you've grown over the past year, you slowly dropped the amount of milk you needed, but you still enjoy nursing and it is the one thing that can soothe you immediately if you're ever upset.  You sleep in your own room all night long and then when you wake up in the morning, daddy goes downstairs to get you and brings you to our room and we begin every morning laying in mommy and daddy's bed cuddling and nursing.  We end every day rocking in the glider as you drowsily nurse to sleep.  It gives me so much joy to share this special time with you buddy.  I'll be sad when the day comes that you decide to wean.  But I have precious memories, especially from the middle of the night when the whole rest of the house is silent and its just you and me.  It makes me smile just thinking about our bonding time.

You have been a happy baby from the get-go.  You rarely cried as a little infant and your smile and dimples are infectious!  Everyone we meet comments on how smiley and happy you are.  We picked your name, Lukas, because it means "brings light" and you have lived up to that name and then some.  You bring so much light to everyone's life, especially mommy and daddy's life.  Your eight teeth shine through when you smile these days and your laugh is so sweet.  You laugh with your whole body and without embarrassment.  You love music and begin dancing, or shaking your head or pumping your arms in the air whenever you hear music being played.  Some of your favorites right now are "Little Puppy", Mumford & Sons (thanks to daddy), "When Ducks Wake up in the Morning" and Renee & Jeremy for nighttime.  I sing to you every night before bed - usually the Night Mantra: I will be your home, I will be your guide, I will be your friend, always on your side.  Sleep now in your room, quiet of the night, surrounded by the moon, until you see the light.  I sing this over and over again and you seem to relax when you hear it, even despite mommy's bad singing voice.  You just light up when a song comes on the radio and if you're upset in the car, all I have to do is play your favorite Primrose Music class CD and you start clapping your hands and kicking the seat.  I keep joking that you're going to be a professional dancer when you grow up!

You discovered your voice a few months ago and you love hearing yourself talk!  You are always babbling about something.  Right now you can say: Dada, Momma, Dog, Cat, Duck, Look/Book and your favorite "UP" as you raise your hands in the air, or stand up.  You know that a dog barks and can mimic his sound.  Grandpa Paul taught you that cats hiss, so you hiss when I ask you what a cat says.  You LOVE your puppy Wrigley and you're growing to really like your kitty Bailey.  Surprisingly, she seems to like you, even though she doesn't like most people.  You know where your nose is and can point to other people's noses, you know where your hair is and we're learning about our ears.  You love fans and get very excited whenever you see one and start hooting like an owl!  You clap your hands and if you hear the word "clap" in a song you start clapping your hands.  You're a smart little guy!  You started walking around 10 months old and are now running around - momma's having a hard time keeping up with you!  You like to climb up the stairs and we're working on teaching you to go down the stairs backwards with our "knees please!"  You're getting the hang of it.  You have NO fear and like to climb on the couch and have taught yourself how to get down from the couch.  You love the water and ran straight for the ocean and the big waves a few weeks ago at your first big beach vacation.  You love being tossed high in the air and laugh loudly when daddy plays with you.  You have a great appetite and eat just about anything you're offered.  Your favorite foods are macaroni & cheese (you eat it and loudly say "Mmmmm"), yogurt, sweet potatoes and cheerios. You eat often, but you're so busy that you are a skinny little thing!

It is a true joy being your momma.  I love you more than I ever knew was possible and I love watching you grow and learn every day.  Thank you for the happiness that you have brought to our lives.

I love you sweet boy.  Happy First Birthday, buddy!

Love, 

Momma

Beach Baby

I think its safe to say that Lukas enjoyed our beach trip...